DOI Heft:
November 21, 1857
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16620#0217
November 21, 1857. J PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 20'i
A NEW FORCE IN THE ARMY.
We are at liberty to announce the contemplated formation of a new
regiment of infantry. It is to be composed, on a principle suggested
by the organization of the Russian army, of the grimmest and ugliest
fellows that can possibly be found ; and " Wanted a number of fright-
fully ill-looking Young Men" will be the heading of the advertisement
of the recruiting sergeant. The idea of this corps has been borrowed
from the Eussian service, for an object indicated by the Chinese: in
order that we may more effectually carry on the war in China by
fighting our Celestial enemies to a certain extent with their own
weapons. It is hoped that our ugly soldiers will the more speedily
put their Chinese antagonists to flight by the repulsiveness of their
looks; and, to further that end, their drill will partly consist in in-
struction in making faces ; in which they will be tutored by a Clown
Sergeant; and they will be daily practised in horse-collar exercise.
But the principal feature of this regiment, which is expected to be
more terrible in effect than all the monstrous noses and horrid squints
which will render it formidable, will be the Band. This will be
composed entirely of foreign musicians; namely, of the Italian
organ-grinders, who infest our streets, and lacerate the nerves
of our countrymen whilst they might be employed in routing our
enemies.
The dreadful noises which they make in playing Keemo Kimo and the
like airs, which, instead of being "airs from heaven/' may be said to
be musically,_ " blasts from—" another place, are obviously calculated
so to terrify ignorant barbarians as, immediately on being heard, to set
them running away with the utmost possible expedition. This regi-
ment, of which no troops whatever will probably be able to stand the
onset, will be called The Stunners.
EGLINTON TO THE RESCUE !
We have much pleasure in extracting from the celebrated Morning
Journal which especially devotes itself to the publication of fashionable
intelligence, the following announcement:—
" Lord Egi.inton and Financial Crisis in Scotland.—The Earl of Eglinton
announces that he will take payment of the rents on his estates due at this term in
depo-it receipts of the Western, or in the notes of any Scotch bank."
The name of Eglinton was already celebrated in connection with a
modern tournament; but the bearer of it will now have earned a
reputation for serious chivalry. To rush to the rescue, to dash into
the midst of a fray, and, regardless of personal safety, to rally a retreat-
ing host, and arrest a panic, is just that particular kind of exploit the
performance of which is characteristic of a true Knight. It was also
customary for kuightly heroes to scatter largess among their followers,
occasionally, when they happened to have a little money about them.
Their followers very often consisted of the rabble, and the money
which they caused a parcel of knaves to scramble for was generally
thrown away. But the largess which the Earl oe Eglinton has
virtually bestowed on his tenants, will doubtless be the means of saving
from ignoble insolvency, and preserving from capture and durance
vile, a goodly multitude of true lieges; right worshipful citizens and
burghers and stout yeomen.
THE IRISH SEPOY.
Our execrable contemporary, the Irish National Sepoy, raves in the
following terms :—
"No one now denies that England has received her-mortal wound—that however
long or short she may linger, her days are numbered. A unanimous feeling stems
to be taking possession of the public mind, that England, in a sorer strait than sbe
was in '82, will ere long be glad to act as she did then, if we ourselves will only use
our opportunity as our fathers did theirs."
The National Sepoy should not say too much about opportunities.
Language apparently meant to excite rebellion may afford a certain
opportunity. That opportunity may be taken; and then, some fine
morning, about eight o'clock, we may see the Irish National Sepoy
suspended. The National Sepoy is allowed plenty of rope, and he is at
least putting it about his neck. A trap-door may, in a very short time,
fall down beneath the soles of his boots, unless, before its descent, he
shall have kicked his boots off,-in order to falsify the predictions of his
friendly monitors. He may be sure that any attempt to create another
Sepoy mutiny will be crushed in the bud without ceremony ; and that
if he does not even now meet with a more ignoble punishment than
that which Punch recommends to be inflicted on him, the reason is,
that in the opinion of Her Majesty's Government, and the British
Public, as well as that of Punch, it is sufficient to annihilate him b.v
blowing him away from a popgun.
A NEW FORCE IN THE ARMY.
We are at liberty to announce the contemplated formation of a new
regiment of infantry. It is to be composed, on a principle suggested
by the organization of the Russian army, of the grimmest and ugliest
fellows that can possibly be found ; and " Wanted a number of fright-
fully ill-looking Young Men" will be the heading of the advertisement
of the recruiting sergeant. The idea of this corps has been borrowed
from the Eussian service, for an object indicated by the Chinese: in
order that we may more effectually carry on the war in China by
fighting our Celestial enemies to a certain extent with their own
weapons. It is hoped that our ugly soldiers will the more speedily
put their Chinese antagonists to flight by the repulsiveness of their
looks; and, to further that end, their drill will partly consist in in-
struction in making faces ; in which they will be tutored by a Clown
Sergeant; and they will be daily practised in horse-collar exercise.
But the principal feature of this regiment, which is expected to be
more terrible in effect than all the monstrous noses and horrid squints
which will render it formidable, will be the Band. This will be
composed entirely of foreign musicians; namely, of the Italian
organ-grinders, who infest our streets, and lacerate the nerves
of our countrymen whilst they might be employed in routing our
enemies.
The dreadful noises which they make in playing Keemo Kimo and the
like airs, which, instead of being "airs from heaven/' may be said to
be musically,_ " blasts from—" another place, are obviously calculated
so to terrify ignorant barbarians as, immediately on being heard, to set
them running away with the utmost possible expedition. This regi-
ment, of which no troops whatever will probably be able to stand the
onset, will be called The Stunners.
EGLINTON TO THE RESCUE !
We have much pleasure in extracting from the celebrated Morning
Journal which especially devotes itself to the publication of fashionable
intelligence, the following announcement:—
" Lord Egi.inton and Financial Crisis in Scotland.—The Earl of Eglinton
announces that he will take payment of the rents on his estates due at this term in
depo-it receipts of the Western, or in the notes of any Scotch bank."
The name of Eglinton was already celebrated in connection with a
modern tournament; but the bearer of it will now have earned a
reputation for serious chivalry. To rush to the rescue, to dash into
the midst of a fray, and, regardless of personal safety, to rally a retreat-
ing host, and arrest a panic, is just that particular kind of exploit the
performance of which is characteristic of a true Knight. It was also
customary for kuightly heroes to scatter largess among their followers,
occasionally, when they happened to have a little money about them.
Their followers very often consisted of the rabble, and the money
which they caused a parcel of knaves to scramble for was generally
thrown away. But the largess which the Earl oe Eglinton has
virtually bestowed on his tenants, will doubtless be the means of saving
from ignoble insolvency, and preserving from capture and durance
vile, a goodly multitude of true lieges; right worshipful citizens and
burghers and stout yeomen.
THE IRISH SEPOY.
Our execrable contemporary, the Irish National Sepoy, raves in the
following terms :—
"No one now denies that England has received her-mortal wound—that however
long or short she may linger, her days are numbered. A unanimous feeling stems
to be taking possession of the public mind, that England, in a sorer strait than sbe
was in '82, will ere long be glad to act as she did then, if we ourselves will only use
our opportunity as our fathers did theirs."
The National Sepoy should not say too much about opportunities.
Language apparently meant to excite rebellion may afford a certain
opportunity. That opportunity may be taken; and then, some fine
morning, about eight o'clock, we may see the Irish National Sepoy
suspended. The National Sepoy is allowed plenty of rope, and he is at
least putting it about his neck. A trap-door may, in a very short time,
fall down beneath the soles of his boots, unless, before its descent, he
shall have kicked his boots off,-in order to falsify the predictions of his
friendly monitors. He may be sure that any attempt to create another
Sepoy mutiny will be crushed in the bud without ceremony ; and that
if he does not even now meet with a more ignoble punishment than
that which Punch recommends to be inflicted on him, the reason is,
that in the opinion of Her Majesty's Government, and the British
Public, as well as that of Punch, it is sufficient to annihilate him b.v
blowing him away from a popgun.