DOI Heft:
August 22, 1857
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16620#0083
August 22, 1857.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
71
PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
August \0th, Monday. Lord Campbell burst upon the Duke of
Argyll with a scolding for not making the marks upon posted letters
more distinct. The unfortunate postmaster pleaded the great number
of letters he had to stamp, but said that he was having a machine made
which would help him. Unless Mr. Punch mistakes, there is a pretty
story about this machine, and its reception by the authorities, one
which would not make a bad pendant to another pretty story that the
indiscretion of an Edinburgh Reviewer has recently brought out, via
Mr. Charles Dickens.
In the Commons there was a debate about the new Public Offices,
and Government promised that they would do nothing in the matter
but take their coats off in order to think intensely. Then in Supply
there was a fight on the £2000 asked towards making a National
Portrait Gallery, and the word Picture has only to be mentioned in the
House to bring on a storm of abuse on Sir Charles Eastlake, and then
a, feu de joie in his honour. This formality having been complied with,
the vote was carried by 85 to 31. Mr. Herbert Ingram suggested
that a portrait of Mr. Spooner should be placed in the collection.
This would be to enrich it with sculpture to an indefinite extent, for if
a certain head carried on a certain classic shield turned every beholder
to stone, the proposed portrait, especially if a good Anti-Maynoothian
expression were thrown into it", would have ten-fold power. Mr.
Ingram deserves credit for so cheap and ingenious a plan for creating
a hall of statues.
Mr. Punch's intimation, last week, that the Act relative to Oaths
("which Lord John Russell thought would make a loophole for
Baron Rothschild), was not intended to apply to the House of
Commons, had been shown, before publication, to Lord Palmer-
ston. It is hardly necessary to say that tke Committee reported in
Wednesday. Mr. Roebuck, who is a very clever, but a very vain
person, and who likes to hear himself talk, whether he has sense or
nonsense to utter, emitted a good deal of the latter about the Bill for
preventing the sale of Immoral Publications. He tried to imitate Lord
Lyndhurst, but made a ludicrous failure. The Bill is to be amended,
and will, we hope, pass.
Sir Cornwall Lewis made a financial statement, the chief points
of which were that he does not mean to reduce the Tea or Sugar duties
for nearly three years to come, and that the East India Company have
not yet had the impudence to ask for money to carry on the war for
remedying their blunders.
We are happy to announce that the Wills Bill was passed. Let
every man who has not made his will immediately do so. He is a great
fool, and most cruel and unjust to his family if he does not. Such is
Mr. Punch's divine power of extracting a moral from the most common-
place fact.
Thursday. Some bishop delivered a huge speech justifying his con-
duct in reference to the non-consecration of some place for burying
Welsh people. We cannot conceive anybody's being sufficiently
interested in such a matter to wish to hear another word about it, but
should any one be afflicted with such morbid curiosity, he had better
buy Friday's Times.
Parliament in 1855 refused to inflict a penalty on parochial officers
who neglected to put down nuisances. Now, members are being
poisoned by the stench from the manufactories near the river, and Sir
B. Hall writes to the Lambeth Vestry to move in the matter. The
Vestry refuses point blank. It is hard that the innocent should suffer
with the guilty; but if there are in town any members who voted
against the penalty clause, we heartily hope that they are suffering
from the nuisance, as they will be all the readier to give, next year,
powers to punish the contumacious snobs of Lambeth.
The more Mr. Punch reflects, the more convinced he is that Woman
accordance with that intimation, and that the earth in question is is the great impediment to Man's living in peace and amity with his
stopped. _ fellow-man. Look at the House of Commons. Its leaders, with sun-
A ridiculous proposal to purchase a place of worship for English i dry weaknesses, are accomplished, well-meaning, good-natured gentle-
visitors to Paris was made, and was felt by the House to be so utterly j men. They will discuss and order a war with half the world, they will
absurd that Government were placed in a minority of 88 on division, j revise a whole system of taxation, they will frame a hundred laws of
The only excuse for such a thing is, that it i3 notorious that English ; vital importance, and however stupidly they may manage, it will all be
visitors to Paris conduct themselves much more like heathens than the ; done with extreme courtesy and politeness. No man of sense will
Parisians themselves. Eolks who, here, are as decorous and stuck- \ lose his temper over such trifles. But, introduce Woman into the
up as possible, do things and go to places, there, which would scandalise i discussion, and they immediately begin to insult one another. This
Parisian ladies and gentlemen. John Bull abroad certainly wants j day the Divorce Bill was debated for ten hours, and nothing but
religious hints, but as certainly would not take them, and therefore the , incivilities were exchanged. We do not care to record such instances
giving him a chapel is simply ludicrous. He likes to go to the service
in the Ambassador's drawmg-room, because he thus gets into aristo-
cratic precincts, and, by the way, it is quite in accordance with Lord
Cowley's reputed hospitality that he desires to get rid even of the
English who come to say their prayers in his salon.
Tuesday. Lord Granville will not legislate about the Sale of
Poisons until next session, and meantime will thank the poison-
mongers and others to read his Bill, and favour him with their
opinions.
Lord Palmerston explained that he had been talking over the
Danubian question with the Emperor of the French, and on the
whole he thought that England and Austria might fairly give way.
Does anybody besides Louis, Pam, and Punch know what the question
was ? Well then. Palmerston opposes the union of Moldavia with
Wallachia, first because it amounts to a dismemberment of Turkey,
for whose " integrity" we spent so many lives and millions; and,
secondly, because the new state would, he thinks, become Russian.
The people themselves, being supposed to have some slight concern
in the matter, were asked to elect representatives to signify their
views. Moldavia has elected adversely to union. But the elections
were a good deal "managed" (French fashion) by Vogorides and his
friends, and the unionist powers, France, Russia, Prussia, Sardinia,
declare the voting invalid. They bully the Sultan, and flap their flags
in his face, to make him take their view. Pam has two or three trifles
on his hands—India, for one—and does not want another; so he has
allowed Napoleon to persuade him to tell Stratford to advise the
Sultan to give way. This, mind, does not prevent our kicking against
the union itself, should it be urged. And now you know all about it,
and we calculate there ain't a b'hoy in either House as could have
posted you up so uncommon slick. No, Siree.
An Indian discussion, including Lord Palmerston's assurance that
the utmost vigour should be shown in dealing with the crisis, was
followed by miscellaneous matters which kept the Commons up till
three o'clock. The Pimlico Improvements Bill was passed; but
unluckily without the clause for putting down the Cries which have
ruined Pimlico, by rendering it uninhabitable except by the lower
orders. However, a general clause, putting down all Street Nuisances,
including cries, perambulators, organs, round hats on females, Ethio-
pian serenaders, the carriages of quack doctors, mendicant street-
sweepers, remember-the-grottoes, head-over-heelers, fanatic preachers,
crinoline, and all other disgraces to the boasted civilisation of the
of weakness, let us rather take the more pleasant course of recording
one good thing of Palmerston. Among other amenities of Mr. Glad-
stone's (who is frantic against Divorce, and made twenty-nine
speeches against it this day) he called the Attorney-General
' a hewer of wood and drawer of water." By the way, some people
think it profane to quote Scripture history lightly, but let that
pass. Lord Palmerston, defending his attorney, said that as for
hewing, he certainly had cut away right and left at the enemies of the
bill, but it was very insulting of Gladstone to insinuate _ that they
were made of Wood, and that as for " drawing water," his speeches
might well have drawn tears of penitence from the eyes of those who
had been offering insincere opposition. This was very good of Pam,
and Mr. Punch hereby publicly claps him on the back, adding that he
was quite right in saying that he would sit there day by day and night
by night until the bill had passed.
Friday. That extraordinary Lord Cranworth, who is always doing
the queerest things at the strangest times, seized the opportunity when
a grave discussion on the Indian crisis was appointed, to break into a
eulogy of the Court of Chancery. The business had never been in a
more satisfactory state, and when delays occurred it was the fault of
the suitors, not of the system. Cranny then got back to his sack,
where he was safe, for Lord Ellenborough looked very desirous of
taking him by the ear of his wig, and conducting him to the door.
An Indian*debate followed, in the course of which Lord Panmube
said that a militia vote of £200,000 had been taken, with which it was
intended to embody 10,000 of the militia before February, when Par-
liament would be again assembled. These men are to be placed in the
garrisons weakened by the dispatch of the regulars to the east. Young
ladies in the provinces must make up their minds to the change. It
may not be so great as they expect—we assure them that we know
several militia officers who are quite as handsome and foolish as any
in the army, and what more can a young lady desire ?
In the Commons, Divorce again. Lord Palmebston and Mr.
Gladstone made some mutual apologies for blowing one another up
the night before, and then the wrangle proceeded. At the end of the
night the Committee had agreed to the 27th clause. Mr. Gladstone
took an opportunity of denying that he had any share in getting up
evidence to obtain the Duke of Newcastle's divorce. Nobody sup-
posed that one of the most high-minded and honourable men in the
world had acted as a spy or a delator, but he undoubtedly favoured, and
in a measure promoted, a relief to the Duke, which, on principle, he
Metropolis, must be part of the New Reform Bill. i would now deny to other aggrieved husbands
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
71
PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
August \0th, Monday. Lord Campbell burst upon the Duke of
Argyll with a scolding for not making the marks upon posted letters
more distinct. The unfortunate postmaster pleaded the great number
of letters he had to stamp, but said that he was having a machine made
which would help him. Unless Mr. Punch mistakes, there is a pretty
story about this machine, and its reception by the authorities, one
which would not make a bad pendant to another pretty story that the
indiscretion of an Edinburgh Reviewer has recently brought out, via
Mr. Charles Dickens.
In the Commons there was a debate about the new Public Offices,
and Government promised that they would do nothing in the matter
but take their coats off in order to think intensely. Then in Supply
there was a fight on the £2000 asked towards making a National
Portrait Gallery, and the word Picture has only to be mentioned in the
House to bring on a storm of abuse on Sir Charles Eastlake, and then
a, feu de joie in his honour. This formality having been complied with,
the vote was carried by 85 to 31. Mr. Herbert Ingram suggested
that a portrait of Mr. Spooner should be placed in the collection.
This would be to enrich it with sculpture to an indefinite extent, for if
a certain head carried on a certain classic shield turned every beholder
to stone, the proposed portrait, especially if a good Anti-Maynoothian
expression were thrown into it", would have ten-fold power. Mr.
Ingram deserves credit for so cheap and ingenious a plan for creating
a hall of statues.
Mr. Punch's intimation, last week, that the Act relative to Oaths
("which Lord John Russell thought would make a loophole for
Baron Rothschild), was not intended to apply to the House of
Commons, had been shown, before publication, to Lord Palmer-
ston. It is hardly necessary to say that tke Committee reported in
Wednesday. Mr. Roebuck, who is a very clever, but a very vain
person, and who likes to hear himself talk, whether he has sense or
nonsense to utter, emitted a good deal of the latter about the Bill for
preventing the sale of Immoral Publications. He tried to imitate Lord
Lyndhurst, but made a ludicrous failure. The Bill is to be amended,
and will, we hope, pass.
Sir Cornwall Lewis made a financial statement, the chief points
of which were that he does not mean to reduce the Tea or Sugar duties
for nearly three years to come, and that the East India Company have
not yet had the impudence to ask for money to carry on the war for
remedying their blunders.
We are happy to announce that the Wills Bill was passed. Let
every man who has not made his will immediately do so. He is a great
fool, and most cruel and unjust to his family if he does not. Such is
Mr. Punch's divine power of extracting a moral from the most common-
place fact.
Thursday. Some bishop delivered a huge speech justifying his con-
duct in reference to the non-consecration of some place for burying
Welsh people. We cannot conceive anybody's being sufficiently
interested in such a matter to wish to hear another word about it, but
should any one be afflicted with such morbid curiosity, he had better
buy Friday's Times.
Parliament in 1855 refused to inflict a penalty on parochial officers
who neglected to put down nuisances. Now, members are being
poisoned by the stench from the manufactories near the river, and Sir
B. Hall writes to the Lambeth Vestry to move in the matter. The
Vestry refuses point blank. It is hard that the innocent should suffer
with the guilty; but if there are in town any members who voted
against the penalty clause, we heartily hope that they are suffering
from the nuisance, as they will be all the readier to give, next year,
powers to punish the contumacious snobs of Lambeth.
The more Mr. Punch reflects, the more convinced he is that Woman
accordance with that intimation, and that the earth in question is is the great impediment to Man's living in peace and amity with his
stopped. _ fellow-man. Look at the House of Commons. Its leaders, with sun-
A ridiculous proposal to purchase a place of worship for English i dry weaknesses, are accomplished, well-meaning, good-natured gentle-
visitors to Paris was made, and was felt by the House to be so utterly j men. They will discuss and order a war with half the world, they will
absurd that Government were placed in a minority of 88 on division, j revise a whole system of taxation, they will frame a hundred laws of
The only excuse for such a thing is, that it i3 notorious that English ; vital importance, and however stupidly they may manage, it will all be
visitors to Paris conduct themselves much more like heathens than the ; done with extreme courtesy and politeness. No man of sense will
Parisians themselves. Eolks who, here, are as decorous and stuck- \ lose his temper over such trifles. But, introduce Woman into the
up as possible, do things and go to places, there, which would scandalise i discussion, and they immediately begin to insult one another. This
Parisian ladies and gentlemen. John Bull abroad certainly wants j day the Divorce Bill was debated for ten hours, and nothing but
religious hints, but as certainly would not take them, and therefore the , incivilities were exchanged. We do not care to record such instances
giving him a chapel is simply ludicrous. He likes to go to the service
in the Ambassador's drawmg-room, because he thus gets into aristo-
cratic precincts, and, by the way, it is quite in accordance with Lord
Cowley's reputed hospitality that he desires to get rid even of the
English who come to say their prayers in his salon.
Tuesday. Lord Granville will not legislate about the Sale of
Poisons until next session, and meantime will thank the poison-
mongers and others to read his Bill, and favour him with their
opinions.
Lord Palmerston explained that he had been talking over the
Danubian question with the Emperor of the French, and on the
whole he thought that England and Austria might fairly give way.
Does anybody besides Louis, Pam, and Punch know what the question
was ? Well then. Palmerston opposes the union of Moldavia with
Wallachia, first because it amounts to a dismemberment of Turkey,
for whose " integrity" we spent so many lives and millions; and,
secondly, because the new state would, he thinks, become Russian.
The people themselves, being supposed to have some slight concern
in the matter, were asked to elect representatives to signify their
views. Moldavia has elected adversely to union. But the elections
were a good deal "managed" (French fashion) by Vogorides and his
friends, and the unionist powers, France, Russia, Prussia, Sardinia,
declare the voting invalid. They bully the Sultan, and flap their flags
in his face, to make him take their view. Pam has two or three trifles
on his hands—India, for one—and does not want another; so he has
allowed Napoleon to persuade him to tell Stratford to advise the
Sultan to give way. This, mind, does not prevent our kicking against
the union itself, should it be urged. And now you know all about it,
and we calculate there ain't a b'hoy in either House as could have
posted you up so uncommon slick. No, Siree.
An Indian discussion, including Lord Palmerston's assurance that
the utmost vigour should be shown in dealing with the crisis, was
followed by miscellaneous matters which kept the Commons up till
three o'clock. The Pimlico Improvements Bill was passed; but
unluckily without the clause for putting down the Cries which have
ruined Pimlico, by rendering it uninhabitable except by the lower
orders. However, a general clause, putting down all Street Nuisances,
including cries, perambulators, organs, round hats on females, Ethio-
pian serenaders, the carriages of quack doctors, mendicant street-
sweepers, remember-the-grottoes, head-over-heelers, fanatic preachers,
crinoline, and all other disgraces to the boasted civilisation of the
of weakness, let us rather take the more pleasant course of recording
one good thing of Palmerston. Among other amenities of Mr. Glad-
stone's (who is frantic against Divorce, and made twenty-nine
speeches against it this day) he called the Attorney-General
' a hewer of wood and drawer of water." By the way, some people
think it profane to quote Scripture history lightly, but let that
pass. Lord Palmerston, defending his attorney, said that as for
hewing, he certainly had cut away right and left at the enemies of the
bill, but it was very insulting of Gladstone to insinuate _ that they
were made of Wood, and that as for " drawing water," his speeches
might well have drawn tears of penitence from the eyes of those who
had been offering insincere opposition. This was very good of Pam,
and Mr. Punch hereby publicly claps him on the back, adding that he
was quite right in saying that he would sit there day by day and night
by night until the bill had passed.
Friday. That extraordinary Lord Cranworth, who is always doing
the queerest things at the strangest times, seized the opportunity when
a grave discussion on the Indian crisis was appointed, to break into a
eulogy of the Court of Chancery. The business had never been in a
more satisfactory state, and when delays occurred it was the fault of
the suitors, not of the system. Cranny then got back to his sack,
where he was safe, for Lord Ellenborough looked very desirous of
taking him by the ear of his wig, and conducting him to the door.
An Indian*debate followed, in the course of which Lord Panmube
said that a militia vote of £200,000 had been taken, with which it was
intended to embody 10,000 of the militia before February, when Par-
liament would be again assembled. These men are to be placed in the
garrisons weakened by the dispatch of the regulars to the east. Young
ladies in the provinces must make up their minds to the change. It
may not be so great as they expect—we assure them that we know
several militia officers who are quite as handsome and foolish as any
in the army, and what more can a young lady desire ?
In the Commons, Divorce again. Lord Palmebston and Mr.
Gladstone made some mutual apologies for blowing one another up
the night before, and then the wrangle proceeded. At the end of the
night the Committee had agreed to the 27th clause. Mr. Gladstone
took an opportunity of denying that he had any share in getting up
evidence to obtain the Duke of Newcastle's divorce. Nobody sup-
posed that one of the most high-minded and honourable men in the
world had acted as a spy or a delator, but he undoubtedly favoured, and
in a measure promoted, a relief to the Duke, which, on principle, he
Metropolis, must be part of the New Reform Bill. i would now deny to other aggrieved husbands