Punch (33.1857)

December. 19, 1857. | PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 247

HOlUilBLE CONSEQUENCE OF EATING TOO MANY MUSHROOMS
fob, SUPPER.

PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

Monday, Tth December. Hereon occurred a good instance of the
respect entertained by Ministers for the Houses of Parliament. In
the Lords, the Eabl of Ellenborough brought up the conduct of
Lord Canning towards the English in India, and that unfortunate
Lord was severely handled and weakly defended. As Canning, and
by inference, the Government that supported him, were catching it,
Lord Granville dexterously tossed in the telegraphic message
which arrived that evening, and the welcome news, that Sir Colin
Campbell had reached Cawnpore, let the Ministers down easy. There
was no harm in this device; but now please to notice. In the Commons
Lord Palmerston was interrogated about the same despatch, and he,
not at the moment wanting any sop for Cerberus, declared that he did
not think the message had any value, or was more than an echo of what
we already kne*v.

Lord Mulgrave is made Bailiff of Hempholme, so the virtuous
Scarboroughites may choose a new member. They cannot choose a
more urbane one than the courtier who has just left them for a better
berth.

Lord Palmerston brought a message from the Queen recommend-
ing the Commons to confer a pension of £1C00 on Sir Henry Have-
lock for saving India. This was not thought enough, as we give
Vernon Smith £4000 for losing India; and later in the week, it was
agreed that the pension should be given for two lives, that of the Indian
hero and his son. Mr. White, member for Plymouth, made some
very sensible observations contrasting the small honours given to
Havelock with the large ones which had been accorded to the Cri-
mean blunderers, and Lord Pam, who perfectly understood Mr.
White, pretended to think he meant to disparage the real achievements
of the Russian Campaign, and fired away much mock indignation.

But Mr. W^hite

Was very right,
And Punch declares it hard, again,

That Havelock wears t

The badge that flares
On Lucan and on Cardigan.

The Bill approving what Lord Palmerston did at the Bank was
read a second time, and in the course of the week passed both Houses.

Tuesday. Lord Shaftesbury explained his plan for enabling the
clergy to preach in Exeter Hall, or where they like, without reference
to the clergyman of the parish. To speak theatrically, the Earl thinks
that if the regular company cannot " draw," the star system should be
introduced. Touching which matter, Mr. Punch has one thing to say.
It is announced that there are to be night services in the grand old
nave of Westminster Abbey. This is well. But the Abbey must be
Warmed and lighted, and Mr. Punch hereby gives notice that he

expects the Chapter personally to see the lights and fires out every
night, as he is not going to have the Abbey burned down, merely
because the Westminster parsons cannot get people into their own
churches. Note, that some of the Bishops do not approve of Lord
Shaftesbury's plan; but all those whom ne has made (he is called the
Bishop-Maker in the House) are, of course, on his side.

This was the day of the Great Eog, and the Duke of Cambridge
could not get to the House in time to speak on the Havelock grant,
but came down at last, and appended his approbation, in terms which
the Duke possibly did not mean should convey the idea they appear
to express; namely, that he undervalues the importance of the Indian
Campaign.

In the Commons, Circumlocution came out strong. Calcutta has
memorialised Government to take away the ridiculous Canning. The
House wants to see the memorial, but Vernon Smyjthe will not pro-
duce it, because it was not forwarded, according to etiquette, through
that very Governor-General, and has sent it back to India, to come
round the regular way. But surely there must be a copy, which will
quite answer the House's purpose.

Wednesday. Nothing particular beyond a rather pedantic protest by
Mr. Gladstone against the House's interfering to increase the reward
to Havelock. It would, he thought, lessen the value of such things,
if the Crown were dictated to. This is nonsense. If our gracious
Queen were an autocrat of the days of chivalry, and hung ropes of
pearl on a gallant knight's neck while inserting rolls of bank-notes
into his gauntlet, interference with a Lady's will and pleasure would
be impertinent. But as these Royal Messages are now discussed by
some elderly gentlemen in Downing Street, and written out by a clerk,
before the Queen hears of them, the case is altered, and theie is no
impropriety whatever, when Her Majesty says, " I should like to tip
that good boy," for the Parliament to answer, "Do, your Majesty,
and we '11 imitate your Grace." Mr. Gladstone has been translating
Homer until he has translated himself back to the times of Memnon,
and his daughter Aggy Memnon.

Thursday. Lord Melville, a grave authority on such a matter,
intimated his belief that the Government were deeply culpable in the
matter of the Indian revolt, having received long before its breaking
out, warnings which should have induced them to take precautionary
measures. Lord Granville pretended not to know anything about
it. Lord Punch was not in the House, or would have asked, whether
Lord Dalhousie did not, a year and a half ago, call the attention of
the Indian authorities to the absolute necessity _ for increasing our
military force in something like proportion to our increased territories,
and whether he was not pooh-pooh'd.

In the Commons the memorial of the oppressed Belgravians against
the Organs was presented by Sir John Shelley, and it excited
the earnest sympathy and indignation of the House. It is to be
hoped that the Nuisance will now be dealt with by making organ-
grinding a felony. Meantime, and until legislation takes place,
why not teach bull-terriers to fly at the leggings of the savages ? A
couple of docile dogs would clear a whole neighbourhood. We pre-
sent the hint to Mr. Bishop, of Bond Street, and also to Mr. Bill
George, of Tyburnia.

Lord John Russell then brought up a new subject, of much interest.
It seems that there are 40,000 Jews in England, but, owing to certain
formalities in the oath of a member of Parliament, not one of these
Hebrews is able, if elected, to take his seat in the House of Commons.
This really seems very hard, not so much upon them, as upon England
generally, who is prevented from choosing any representative she may
please, or rather who may please her. Lord John proposes, in next
Session, to alter the oath, in the case of the Jew, and to enable him to
serve his country.

Friday. There were Currency debates in both Houses. Mr. Punch
would not outrage his readers' feelings by doing more than record such
doings. The details are entirely unsuitable for publication.

In the Lords the Earl of Clarendon " believed, but could not say
for certain," that the Erench Government meant to abandon its free
negro-labour scheme, which Lord Derby, (the Mr. Stanley of
Negro Emancipation days) denounced as a recurrence to the slave-
trade.

In the Commons, Mr. Tom Duncombe announced apian of his own
for letting the Jews in—returning the kindness which, in his time,
some of them have probably shown him. He means to proceed by
resolution. But there are such things as Law-courts, and between them
and the House would come a collision in regard to certain penalties,
and though the two great bodies would be unhurt, the unfortunate
Hebrew who would be crushed between them would be in no degree
comfortable.

The Corporation of London is to be reformed, if that body is good
enough to approve the Government Bill. Another attempt is to be
made upon the Medical Profession, and a plan will be introduced for
making something like a Minister of Justice.

The officer who captured the hoary scoundrel called the King of
Delhi, was obliged to promise the old ruffian not to put him to death,