DOI Heft:
November 21, 1857
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16620#0218
208
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[November 21, 1857.
PHYSIC FOR THE FAIR.
Among the various cures through
which relief is promised, by adver-
tisements, to suffering humanity,
may now be enumerated the "Move-
ment Cure." Not knowing the na-
ture of this remedy, we cannot say
whether it is a novelty or a method
of treatment known ior a consider-
able time. Dancing, if it has been
successfully prescribed and prac-
tised in cases of bite by the Taran-
tula spider, was a species of Move-
ment Cure; and it may be sup-
posed to form an element in the
system advertised under that name.
Accordingly, the position of the
dancing-ma'ster will be greatly ele-
vated, so, indeed as to become quite
a first position, for he will hence-
forth take his place as a professor
of the toe-and-healing art. Balls
will be given instead of boluses,
and polkas and waltzes will be pre-
scribed, to be danced at bed-time,
and repeated every few minutes, to
the great delight of interesting inva-
lids : though as a movement cure,
the dancing would be more effectual
that this might have arisen from her master's being intoxicated, but
also from her mistress having put the chain up.
The worthy Magistrate, with evident disgust, asked the prisoner
whether he would be sent for trial, or summarily punished.
The prisoner said, that if it was all the same to the Magistrate, he
should like to say a few words, and he made a statement which not
only completely met the allegations of the prosecutrix, but excited the
liveliest sympathy from every one, except the females, in court. He
said that ne had been a good husband to the complainant, had allowed
her plenty of money, and never inquired where it went to, and that he
had frequently, after taking off his boots on a wet night, put them on
again, and gone out to buy her some delicacy for her supper. That
she had behaved herself well until in an evil hour he had permitted
the witness Tigertail to reside in the house, since when all nad gone
wrong. He could never get his breakfast punctually, though, having
a situation it was important to him to be to his time in the city. He
had (and here the prisoner shed tears) had cold meat for dinner three
times in one week, though the complainant and her mother had always
a hot lunch. He had not, he said, a button on his shirt, and here the
poor fellow turned up his sleeves, and the condition of his wristbands
caused a sensation among the spectators. When he had remonstrated
he had been abused by the witness Tigertail, who had asked him
whether he fancied he had married a needlewoman, and had flung into
his face her deceased husband, an officer in the Excise. (Sensation.)
He admitted that on the occasion in question, after a long series of
snubbing and privation, he had so far forgotten himself as to say he
would be hanged if he would take the complainant and her mother to
a Little Bethel at Clapham, instead of keeping his promise to spend an
hour or two with an old schoolfellow. As for being intoxicated, the
Magistrate might, as a married man, know that a woman always threw
that charge into her complaints, as an honest baker adds the lump of
the day.
The Movement Cure would also
greatly benefit many delicate young
ladies, if they resorted to it by
walking several miles daily at a
good brisk pace in the open air.
This is a well-known cure for the
effects of champagne, and cheaper
beverages, imbibed in excessive
quantity over-night: but as the complaint is chiefly confined to the
grosser sex, so is the use of the remedy. The skipping-rope may afford
one means of adopting the Movement Cure ; and that noble animal the
horse may furnish another to beautiful beings who would be so much
if taken in the morning and during ; bread that makes up the quartern. He had been sober enough to take
the cabman's number, and begged to charge him with extortion and
insolence.
The witness Tigertail, who had been very violent during portions of
the prisoner's statement, here flung a corpulent old umbrella at him.
The complainant offered no further evidence beyond hysterics.
Mr. Punch said that this was a case which showed the advantage
of hearing both sides, a plan which he had always adopted. The
charge was dismissed, and the accused might, if he pleased, place his
wife in the dock. This the latter dechned, out manifested no disin-
clination to see his mother-in-law there. Ultimately after a feeling
remonstrance with Mrs. Veal, and a severe lecture to the witness
Tigertail, the Magistrate sent the cabman to prison, and recommended
Mr. Veal to forgive his wife this time on her promising to amend, and
more beautiful because so much more healthy than they are, if they giving Mrs. Tigertail notice to quit. The parties then left the court
would but put themselves under the Movement Cure by taking plenty j
of exercise. Not only would the Movement Cure of walking remove
numerous headaches and most of the similar complaints to which
young ladies are subject; but it would also put an end to a complaint,
iiot medical, with which they are assailed. In order to take proper
walking exercise, it would be necessary for them to wear clothes which
they could freely step out in, and which they would not be obliged to
keep holding up with both hands out of the mud.
MR. PUNCH'S POLICE.
THEBMOPYLiE AND CAWNPOBE.
The glory of Leonidas
Eternal will and should remain,
"With his small band who held the Pass,
When those three hundred men were slain.
England has sons as good as he,
As hard a brunt as well who bore ;
Old Sparta kept Thermopylae :
Old England longer held Cawnpore.
Brutal Treatment or a Husband.—Yesterday, after the other
charges had been disposed of, a rather mild-looking, well-dressed man, ^n(j J^cknow was relieved and won
named Moses Joseph Veal, aged about 40, was placed in the dock, ~ Against an overwhelming mass
charged by his wife with having stayed at his club until two in the And Havelock, conquering chief, has done
morning, and having then come home m a cab, and a state ot obtus- Yet better than Leonidas.
cation. The charge was heard by all present, including numerous How Lacedremon nobly failed,
females, with a shudder, and the prisoner, who seemed desirous to Will Historv never cease to'tell •
speak, was indignantly ordered by the worthy Magistrate to hold his How England' in like strait prevailed
l05?ue- , Tr , , . , . . .. , , , And Britons triumphed as they fell.
Margaret Veal, wne ot the prisoner, deposed that they had been
married several years, during which time he had treated her tolerably -
well until of late, when he had taken to use very strong language in
her presence, had frequently absented himself from the house at the j The Spread of the Fashion.
dinner hour, had committee! outrages upon her relatives, and had re-
fused her the necessaries of life. She had borne all this with patience,
but on the preceding night he had committed the offence with which
he was charged.
Judith Tigertail, mother of the witness, corroborated the daughter's
evidence in every respect, except in declaring that the latter had not
told half the wickedness of the prisoner.
James Diddle, driver of cab 198,276, gave evidence of having
brought the prisoner from the Taraxicum Club to Somers Town, and
was convinced that he was drunk, inasmuch as he had disputed the
amount of the fare.
Bosa Johnson, servant in the family, deposed to having opened the
door to her master, who was unable to come in with his latch-
key. In reply to a question from the Magistrate the witness said,
A Scene at a Gerrnau Fair Bazaar.
Fashionable Infant [rejecting ccntumeliously a Quakerish-looking
Poupee). " No, Mamma, 1 won't have that doll—I want one that has
got lots of Crinoline ! "
a notion of talkers.
It seems that the French language has 5,000 more words than the
English. Upon this fact being mentioned to a lady, she said : " Well,
1 ':n sure they must want them all, for the French talk ever so much
more than we do."
The real "Believing Officer."—Sir Henry Havelock.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[November 21, 1857.
PHYSIC FOR THE FAIR.
Among the various cures through
which relief is promised, by adver-
tisements, to suffering humanity,
may now be enumerated the "Move-
ment Cure." Not knowing the na-
ture of this remedy, we cannot say
whether it is a novelty or a method
of treatment known ior a consider-
able time. Dancing, if it has been
successfully prescribed and prac-
tised in cases of bite by the Taran-
tula spider, was a species of Move-
ment Cure; and it may be sup-
posed to form an element in the
system advertised under that name.
Accordingly, the position of the
dancing-ma'ster will be greatly ele-
vated, so, indeed as to become quite
a first position, for he will hence-
forth take his place as a professor
of the toe-and-healing art. Balls
will be given instead of boluses,
and polkas and waltzes will be pre-
scribed, to be danced at bed-time,
and repeated every few minutes, to
the great delight of interesting inva-
lids : though as a movement cure,
the dancing would be more effectual
that this might have arisen from her master's being intoxicated, but
also from her mistress having put the chain up.
The worthy Magistrate, with evident disgust, asked the prisoner
whether he would be sent for trial, or summarily punished.
The prisoner said, that if it was all the same to the Magistrate, he
should like to say a few words, and he made a statement which not
only completely met the allegations of the prosecutrix, but excited the
liveliest sympathy from every one, except the females, in court. He
said that ne had been a good husband to the complainant, had allowed
her plenty of money, and never inquired where it went to, and that he
had frequently, after taking off his boots on a wet night, put them on
again, and gone out to buy her some delicacy for her supper. That
she had behaved herself well until in an evil hour he had permitted
the witness Tigertail to reside in the house, since when all nad gone
wrong. He could never get his breakfast punctually, though, having
a situation it was important to him to be to his time in the city. He
had (and here the prisoner shed tears) had cold meat for dinner three
times in one week, though the complainant and her mother had always
a hot lunch. He had not, he said, a button on his shirt, and here the
poor fellow turned up his sleeves, and the condition of his wristbands
caused a sensation among the spectators. When he had remonstrated
he had been abused by the witness Tigertail, who had asked him
whether he fancied he had married a needlewoman, and had flung into
his face her deceased husband, an officer in the Excise. (Sensation.)
He admitted that on the occasion in question, after a long series of
snubbing and privation, he had so far forgotten himself as to say he
would be hanged if he would take the complainant and her mother to
a Little Bethel at Clapham, instead of keeping his promise to spend an
hour or two with an old schoolfellow. As for being intoxicated, the
Magistrate might, as a married man, know that a woman always threw
that charge into her complaints, as an honest baker adds the lump of
the day.
The Movement Cure would also
greatly benefit many delicate young
ladies, if they resorted to it by
walking several miles daily at a
good brisk pace in the open air.
This is a well-known cure for the
effects of champagne, and cheaper
beverages, imbibed in excessive
quantity over-night: but as the complaint is chiefly confined to the
grosser sex, so is the use of the remedy. The skipping-rope may afford
one means of adopting the Movement Cure ; and that noble animal the
horse may furnish another to beautiful beings who would be so much
if taken in the morning and during ; bread that makes up the quartern. He had been sober enough to take
the cabman's number, and begged to charge him with extortion and
insolence.
The witness Tigertail, who had been very violent during portions of
the prisoner's statement, here flung a corpulent old umbrella at him.
The complainant offered no further evidence beyond hysterics.
Mr. Punch said that this was a case which showed the advantage
of hearing both sides, a plan which he had always adopted. The
charge was dismissed, and the accused might, if he pleased, place his
wife in the dock. This the latter dechned, out manifested no disin-
clination to see his mother-in-law there. Ultimately after a feeling
remonstrance with Mrs. Veal, and a severe lecture to the witness
Tigertail, the Magistrate sent the cabman to prison, and recommended
Mr. Veal to forgive his wife this time on her promising to amend, and
more beautiful because so much more healthy than they are, if they giving Mrs. Tigertail notice to quit. The parties then left the court
would but put themselves under the Movement Cure by taking plenty j
of exercise. Not only would the Movement Cure of walking remove
numerous headaches and most of the similar complaints to which
young ladies are subject; but it would also put an end to a complaint,
iiot medical, with which they are assailed. In order to take proper
walking exercise, it would be necessary for them to wear clothes which
they could freely step out in, and which they would not be obliged to
keep holding up with both hands out of the mud.
MR. PUNCH'S POLICE.
THEBMOPYLiE AND CAWNPOBE.
The glory of Leonidas
Eternal will and should remain,
"With his small band who held the Pass,
When those three hundred men were slain.
England has sons as good as he,
As hard a brunt as well who bore ;
Old Sparta kept Thermopylae :
Old England longer held Cawnpore.
Brutal Treatment or a Husband.—Yesterday, after the other
charges had been disposed of, a rather mild-looking, well-dressed man, ^n(j J^cknow was relieved and won
named Moses Joseph Veal, aged about 40, was placed in the dock, ~ Against an overwhelming mass
charged by his wife with having stayed at his club until two in the And Havelock, conquering chief, has done
morning, and having then come home m a cab, and a state ot obtus- Yet better than Leonidas.
cation. The charge was heard by all present, including numerous How Lacedremon nobly failed,
females, with a shudder, and the prisoner, who seemed desirous to Will Historv never cease to'tell •
speak, was indignantly ordered by the worthy Magistrate to hold his How England' in like strait prevailed
l05?ue- , Tr , , . , . . .. , , , And Britons triumphed as they fell.
Margaret Veal, wne ot the prisoner, deposed that they had been
married several years, during which time he had treated her tolerably -
well until of late, when he had taken to use very strong language in
her presence, had frequently absented himself from the house at the j The Spread of the Fashion.
dinner hour, had committee! outrages upon her relatives, and had re-
fused her the necessaries of life. She had borne all this with patience,
but on the preceding night he had committed the offence with which
he was charged.
Judith Tigertail, mother of the witness, corroborated the daughter's
evidence in every respect, except in declaring that the latter had not
told half the wickedness of the prisoner.
James Diddle, driver of cab 198,276, gave evidence of having
brought the prisoner from the Taraxicum Club to Somers Town, and
was convinced that he was drunk, inasmuch as he had disputed the
amount of the fare.
Bosa Johnson, servant in the family, deposed to having opened the
door to her master, who was unable to come in with his latch-
key. In reply to a question from the Magistrate the witness said,
A Scene at a Gerrnau Fair Bazaar.
Fashionable Infant [rejecting ccntumeliously a Quakerish-looking
Poupee). " No, Mamma, 1 won't have that doll—I want one that has
got lots of Crinoline ! "
a notion of talkers.
It seems that the French language has 5,000 more words than the
English. Upon this fact being mentioned to a lady, she said : " Well,
1 ':n sure they must want them all, for the French talk ever so much
more than we do."
The real "Believing Officer."—Sir Henry Havelock.