Punch: Punch (33.1857)

186

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[October 31, 1557.

Tluse Dresses are very udl in (heir way, bat they make us all appear the same size. Why, a Girl might be as thin as a Wldppiiig-post,

and yet be taken for a Decent Figure."

THE SUGAR-MARKET.

Mb,. Antony Wospe, after a long-continued tiff with his wife, in
which he has clearly confessed himself to he in the wrong, took her to
the Adelphi Theatre, on Saturday evening, nt half-price. The happy
pair, after mutually agreeing that "they had spent a remarkably
pleasant evening," returned home for supper. Oysters were laid for
two. Nothing was wanting to complete the harmony of the entertain-
ment. The baby was fast asleep, and the beer had been fetched most
fortunately only the minute before "The Widow's Struggle" closed
for the night.

Mrs. Poppets has only the wing of a butterfly to finish to complete
the beautiful pair of braces she is embroidering for her "dear duck of
a husband," Joshua. They are to be presented to Poppets, after tea,
on the 30th, in commemoration of their nineteenth wedding-day. Mrs.
Poppets has already prepared a most ingenious device to induce Joshua
to take off his coat, the better to enable her to put on the braces her-
Eelf, in presence of the assembled company. The water-rate collector
(to whom two years' arrears are owing") has been invited.

Mr. George Frederick Sptjnge sent the barrel of oysters to his
rich uncle only yesterday week. He has not as yet received the
customary invitation for Christmas Day, but he is expecting it every
post. The bank-note, that is usually folded up inside the napkins of ail
the nephews and nieces present on that festive occasion, has already
been promised to not less than nine different tradesmen. Mr. George
Frederick will be so puzzled to know to whom he ought to present it,
that it is a question of exactly nine to one, whether he will not keep it
himself.

The Critic of the Learned Pig had a friendly chop with the Reverend
Alfred Sophte Sawders one day this week. The chop lasted three

hours, and did the greatest honour to the cuisine of the Talleyrand j Some people, mostly old gentlemen, demand to know, what is the

the best state to appreciate its beauties then, quietly put it into his
pocket. Before parting, an early day was fixed for another dinner to
discuss, the merits of the book, when the amiable Critic promised to
favour the accomplished author with his candid opinion on the Orange
Blossoms.

As the New Year is approaching, the laundress of Mr. Skeene
Flint, the well-kuown conveyancer of Thavies' Inn, redoubles in her
attentions and kindness to her aged master. Yesterday, he had a
basin of Irish stew for his luncheon. The windows have been cleared
of a considerable portion of then- dirt. The dust is by no means so
plentiful about the room, nor has the diminution been at all obtained
by throwing the various deeds and mortgages, which lie scattered
about the room, into hopeless confusion. The laundress knows only
too well that it is Mr. Skeene Flint's most sensitive horror (next
to a client who doesn't pay) to have "his papers " touched—and so she
has wisely refrained from laying a profane linger on any one of them.
Her weekly bill, too, for office-dinners, teas, Sec, has wonderfully
decreased of late. A chop and potato, that, but a few weeks ago,
cost ninepence, has since fallen to sevenpence. These are unmistake-
able signs that New Year's day is rapidly approaching.

Madame la Baronse de H'Olde-Soldierse indiscreetly left out
on the sideboard, yesterday, a handsome silver goblet. On it was
engraved "a Adolphe," and underneath it, the year "1858"
Adolphe is the name of Madame la Baronne's husband. She
snatched up the goblet, as soon as Adolphe had seen it, and was so
angry that to avoid " une scene," and hide her tears, she rushed madly
out of the room !

A Contribution to Social Science.

Club. The Critic was good-natured enough to express his unqualified
admiration of the wine. We see that a new book of poems {A JFreath
of Orange Blossoms) by the gushing Ileverend is announced as " Nearly
Beady." By the merest accident the learned author had a copy of the
Poems in his pocket, and, with many compliments, presented it after
the third bottle to his "dear and esteemed friend," who, not being in

use of teaching the people music, or, as fine speakers say, " culti-
vating the musical faculty of the population ? " The use is this; that
if you could improve the musical taste of the British Public, they
would not stand organ-grinders any more, and your sight would no
louger be offended with grinning vagrants, and your ears with " Eeeir.o,
Kim."