Punch: Punch (33.1857)

88 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [November 7, 1857.

MIND YOUR EYE !

he subjoined extract from
the Times may suggest the
expediency of making, next

WHO CASES?

" Maliciously Throwing Vi-
triol.—Some miscreant or mis-
creants have for the last seven
or eight days been exercising
their malicious propensities in
the neighbourhood of Knights-
bridge, Piccadilly, and the
Strand, at dusk, by throwing
vitriol over the dresses of ladies
and others. The police have
been made acquainted with this
infamous practice, and are on
the alert fir the detection of
the perpetrators, and a reward
has been offered for their appre-
hension, which it is to be hoped,
will lead to their punishment."

Unfortunately, their pu-
nishment—unless, perhaps,
they are very young ras-
cals — will not be that
which would be most ap-
propriate to their offence,
and most likely to prevent
its repetition. The very
severest whipping that a
human scoundrel can pos-
sibly survive will not be,
in the present state of the
law, a remedy in the power
of Magistrate or Judge to prescribe, in addition to several years' penal servitude,
as a cure for vitriol-throwing. We hope that Parliament, when it meets, will, as
soon as possible, enable the ministers of justice to inflict the proper correction on
the throwers of vitriol. Justice herself must be blind indeed not to see that no
corporal punishment can be too severe for the crime of wilfully putting out eyes.

What nave they done to Grantley Berkeley,

Who has been "punching" that delicate "head,
What is the wrong he hints so darkly
Session, a slight addition to ; ln that long letter the ciubs have read ?

the statutes:—

What is the point on which the war is

Among a party where peace should be ;
What's the offence of the stern Sir Maurice,
And why did he bully his brother G ?

Why did the latter enact The Stranger,
And stalk away from his kindred's sight ?

And why would it put his right in danger
To witness the late Earl's funeral rite ?

What have the lawyers done askantly,
How have they "duped" the lawful Earl,

And out of the coronet waiting Grantley
Picked, as he fancies, a precious pearl.

Why not, if he's received a snub, lick

More suo, his fancied foe ;
Instead of writing to bore the public

With what they don't care a dump to know.

Operatic Scale of Measurement.

'Englishman. Well, Sir, how did Cassevoix's new opera
go?

Manager. A fiasco—a complete fiasco \

Englishman. How so? Wriy, I'm told that the composer
was called forward not less than nineteen times ?

Manager. You're right, Sir, perfectly right,—but then you
must know that in Italy we never begin to reckon a success
until after the thirtieth call. Eifty calls make a Triumph—
one hundred a Furore ! [Exit Manager, tearing his hair.

DOWNING-STREET AND HOLY WELL-STREET.

We quote the subjoined portion of a Holywell Doctor's advertisement
from a country paper—one, doubtless, of many country papers in
which this fellow's lying advertisements have appeared. With one
exception, we have exactly reproduced the Holywell Doctor's text.
That exception is the Holywell Doctor's name, which we have taken
the liberty of changing for more reasons than one, but chiefly in order
that we may not give him any publicity, even the publicity of infamy ;
which Holywell Doctors prefer to none at all:—

" CAUTION.—Sufferers are cautioned against a quack who advertises in the
same street, and should also guard against the recommendation of spurious or other
medicines by unprincipled vendors, who thereby obtain a large profit. To protect
the public Her Majesty's Hon. Commissioners have directed the words ' Gualher
de la Ruse, London,' to be printed in white letters on the stamp affixed to the
above, without which none can be genuine, and to imitate which is felony, and the
offender will be prosecuted by Her Majesty's Government.

The above quotation sufficiently proves that there is one quack who
advertises in the advertiser's street, but does not prove, but only
intimates, that there is another. We do not, howTever, print it for the
purpose of making that remark, nor yet for that of suggesting to those
whom it may concern, that the recommendation of "unprincipled
vendors " to take " other medicines " than those of Dr. de la Poise
may be wisely adopted, unless the other medicines recommended are
other quack medicines. Our object is to point out to Lord Palmek-
ston and to Sir George Grey, the relation existing between "Her
Majesiy's Hon. Commissioners," and the respectable Gualtier de
la Ruse, London. It is that of patrons and client. De la Ruse is
the protege of Her Majesty's Hon. Commissioners. Mot only that;
but they specially ratify his pretensions; they endorse bis puff: and
Her Majesty's Government is prepared to back their act with the
weight of its authority and power. Surely the Queen's name is
grievously misused in this. Ministers are supposed to be meditating
a Medical Reform Bill. They had better bring it into Parliament with
clean hands, and to that end, wash them carefully from the results of
contact with Doctor Gaultier de la Ruse.

board of ordnance for india.

Some say that India is governed by Cannon-Row. A very good
Government too, provided the Row of Cannon consisted of great guns,
inclusive of mortars, and were served exclusively by European
artillerymen.

An Alarming Illustration of the Peg-Top Trousers.

news from the strand.

Mr. Balfe has just produced a new opera, with brilliant success.
It is called The Rose of Castille. But everybody knows this, and Punch
alludes to the fact merely to mention that some of the carrion-mongers
who "burlesque" anything that is too good, unadulterated, for their
vulgar patrons, are already preparing a theatrical nuisance to be called
Black Rose of Castille, or, How are you off for Soap ? Of course, Lord
Breadalbane will license it.