Punch (33.1857)

82

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[August 22, 1857.

" LES ADIEUX D'OSBORNE."

It is said that the Emperor is anxious to
have a painting commemorating his visit to
Osborne, and that Mr. Gudin will be com-
missioned to paint it. We think a capital com-
panion to the " Adieux de Fontainebleau " might
be made out of the subject. We would have
Louis Napoleon in his old dress of a special
constable. He should be taking an affectionate
farewell of his faithful Police. On one side there
should be the English Police, his former com-
panions on duty; and, on the other side, therp
should be grouped pathetically the Erench Police,
who accompanied him from Erance. Prince
Albert would be shown in the background,
overcome with emotion. The Queen might be
elegantly introduced at the back, waving her
handkerchief from the balcony. Not only might
the Picture, with such strong incidents, be made
most effective, but it would also contain elements
of truth, which historical pictures do not always
possess. The two sorts of veteran Police,
admitting of a great variety of costume, would
form a most admirable group. An old mouchard
in tears would tell capitally. The title, o<
course, must be Les Adieux d'Osborne. On
the top of the picture might be delicately
inscribed, "Strictly Private." It would help
the story.

Rival to Joe Miller.

Bernal Osborne's jettx-d'esprits, jokes,
conundrums, epigrams, sarcasms, paradoxes,
coqs-a-l'dnes, personalities, &c. &c, are to be col-
lected together, and published shortly, in 19 vols.,
under the title of:—" The Bernal Collection"

The Extremely Reprehensible Conduct of those two Podyhinsons, as they Walked to Church
with their Papa, Mamma, and Sisters, the very first Sunday last Holidays.

THE ZUB-ATLANTIC TELEGRAPH-A SOUTH-WESTERN ECLOGUE.

" Tell us, Bill, if thee bist able,

See 'n as how I can't make out,
This here Zub-Atlanfic Cable

As they calls ut, what about ? "
" Thee dost know I bain't no scollard,

Peter, that thee know'st full well;
Ziunce never havun foller'd,

Little 'tis as I can tell."

" Tell that there, for thee bist clever

At explainun things off-hand,
And 'twill be as much as ever

I be like to understand."
" Well; to give thee sich a notion

As 1 feels I'm aqual to—
Under the Atlantic Ocean

This here cable is to goo."

" By the Ocean, as I takes ut,

Neighbour, thee dost mane the Say,
Tell us, now, how fur you makes ut

This here Cable vor to lay ? "
" At a moderate calcilation

'Tween two thousand mile and dree,
Bringun in communication

Ireland and Amerikey."

! What a stretcher ! What's ut made
on ?

Tell us what ut's vor, I pray,
Under water beun' laid on
All that there termendious way ? "

" This here Cable of the Ocean
Is described, by them who've sin,

Gutter percher, outer potion,
Over 'lectric wires within."

" Ah ! what, wires like them inventions

As do carry, in a crack,
Any messidges you mentions

Down from Lunnon here and back ? "
" Ees, and by the zame assistance,

True as now I talks to thee.
Words ool vly, all that there distance,

'Tween Ameriker and we."

Truer words was never spoken

Than that wonders bain't to cease.
Bill, my boy, I sees a token

In that precious link, of peace."
"1 should think so; peace'tween brothers,

Who aloan is Vreedom's hope;
Whilst thee zee'st all them there others

Servun' Tyrants and the Poap."

"Well; they zinks this Cable, don't
em,

Down away there in the deep ?
But the waves ool stir 'un, won't em,

When the storms above 'un sweep ? "
" Ah ! the storms all sweeps above 'un,

AVhen the winds arise and blow;
But the waves wun't never move 'un,

They be still as death below."

" Well; in course I zee that follers,

But, about the holes, old chap ?
When a draps down in the hollers,

Dash my buttons '. wun't a snap ? "
" Naw; cause underneath the biller

What they calls a reef ixtends,
Makun' vor 'un one long piller

All the way between his ends."

" Natur's got some strange things in her,.

There a Providence I zee ;
Though I knows as I'm a sinner,

Which I will confess to thee."
" Peter, in thy observation

I agrees ; ut makes us think
Arter all this conversation,

Let us ha' a drap o' drink."

" Bill, I likes that there suggestion;

By the vorce on't I be struck;
In regard to that there question ,

Now suppose we drinks good luck."
" Hoy! Hallo!—zumbeer, young'ooman—

Quart a-piece—we can't ha' less.
Bring us zum o' your uncommon:

'Lantic Telegraph's success ! "

[We deeply regret that our bucolic contributor should
have put his enthusiasm into the above beautiful poem
before leading the latest news from Valentia. Mr.
Peter's inquiry, " Wun't it snap? " is, however, a very
sensible one, and Mr. Bill should have replied, " In
coorse." But the admirable anti-temperance senti-
ments at the close, no less than the general merit of the
poem, forbid our sacrificing it.—Ed.J

note on colours. sigh oe the sportin& member.

Ultramarine is the name given to an intense blue. Ultramontane | The Sporting Member, nailed to the Treasury benches, and dreaming
may be suggested as an analogous expression which might be applied of the grouse-dotted Moors, hums plaintively to himself, "How happy
I o violent scarlet. could 1 be with Heather ! "

"Very Hard Lines."—Reading Bradshaw's in a hurry under a Unprecedented Trade Announcement.—The Pig-Market was
gas-lamn on a verv windy night in the street! quiet.