DOI Heft:
September 12, 1857
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16620#0116
106
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[September 12, 1857.
THE SPEECH OF MATERFAMI LIAS,
AT THE END OF THE SEASON.
S the Season is over, Mater-
familias assembled her beau-
tiful daughters in the Drawing-
room, in order to address them,
previous to their going to the
Sea-side.
Five young ladies, of various
ages and different styles of
beauty, responded to the mater-
nal call. Their dresses were
limp and faded, and looked
care-worn, as though the vast
amount of work they had gone
through, for months past, had
been too much for them. Like
their exhausted wearers, they
scarcely had a bit of colour left.
In answer to inquiries,
" Where Julia was ? " the
Lady's-Maid-in-Waiting stated
that "her young Missus was
" Letters of introduction will be forwarded
to you for the wealthy friends and desirable
acquaintances you may chance to meet during
your stay.
" Round hats for each of you have been placed
in your respective bed-rooms. They are of the
largest possible size.
" New bathing-gowns, of an elegant ultra-
marine French pattern, fresh from Dieppe, have
also been placed in your trunks.
" You must be careful not to get wet feet.
" Above all, let me impress upon you strongly
to beware how you flirt with strangers, or
younger sons.
" Your whole future depends upon your dis-
cretion in these little matters.
" I rely on your good sense. I trust princi-
pally to the good example your fond mother has
always set you.
" My dear Boys,
" It will be your duty during your holiday
to take care of your sisters.
'' You must do nothing to thwart their plans.
" You must conform to the meal hours they
no7(iteMed7et,1or^ a . , .
a sick headache, she had had , You m^st accompany them m their walks,
her breakfast that morning in an£ ^cort them m their donkey excursions,
bed." You must not, as their natural protectors,
allow them to go to the Spa, or the Esplanade,
or the Assembly llooms, or the Library, by
themselves. It would never do !
" I beg of you not to introduce to them any
of your smoking, or billiard friends, excepting
such as_, from their high position in life, may
be considered worthy of the favour. A Title, of
course, is always its own introduction.
My dear Boys and Girls, " I entreat of you not to add to your sisters'
" I need not tell you the Season is over. You all of you want change of air. It is not only ,expenses. The cold meat, which is 'intended for
my opinion, but the opinion, also, of that worthy man and physician! Dr. Knightbell. It the m?^8 breakkst> must 2ot ,be consumeaf
is my dutv, therefore, as your Mother, to see that vou have it. ! OTe"»S"t lor your supper Such an act of
" The struggle with your poor father has been a long and a painful one. For weeks and 1 greediness, not only will reflect.on your selfish-
The Boys having been sum-
moned from the stable, Mater-
eamilias, taking her seat upon
the large yellow damask otto-
man, (which had had its brown-holland envelope pulled off for the occasion), proceeded,
after arranging her head-dress, and giving a slight impressive cough, to address her family
as follows:—
weeks he would not listeii to the urgency of my entreaties. Ruin stared him in the face.
The expense, he declared, would drive him to the workhouse. At last, my tears have pre-
ness, but will materially tend, also, to swell the
weekly bills.
A pint of shrimps each will be allowed you
vailed. He has consented to grant vou each a six weeks' absence. • iJ1UL 7 ■""•"I* edLU W1
" It is almost superfluous for me to state, that no efforts shall be left undone, on my part, ; ^fi^-not one stomp more,
to get those six wis extended to eight. . _ . '.. "Lte
It is with profound regret that I cannot congratulate you, as I should wish, on the
success of the past Season. The matrimonial negociations, however, which have been broken
off by the suspension of the usual festivities, must be renewed, with additional vigour,
next Spring, and prosecuted with amiable firmness, and yet dignified sweetness, until carried
to a • favourable termination,—which, to my mind, means St. George's, Hanover Square.
" I cannot disguise from you the exalted pride and soothing pleasure I feel in the signal
triumph I have gained over Mrs. Grundy, in having succeeded in breaking off the match
between Captain Albany Knightsbridge and her youngest daughter.
" We must be fully prepared to act on the defensive against any retaliations that may
be taken against us from that hostile quarter.
" In t he meantime, it is my agreeable province to inform you, that the Captain remains
our friend. From a billet-doux, couched in the most courteous of words, which I have just
received from him, I am enabled to state, that he has generously consented to dine with us
next. Christmas Day.
" His poor respected father, Lord Baron de Bceuf, it pains me deeply to communicate,
still lies in a very dangerous condition. The large estates are fortunately entailed, ana
our dear friend Albany is the next heir in succession. Entertaining the very highest respect
for his honourable parents, and expressing, as we do, our unfeigned regret for his deplor-
able position, still we cannot help hoping that everything may occur for the best.
" I have entered into a fresh treaty with Mr. Gunter. The terms are satisfactorily in
our faTOur. He has agreed to provide suppers for us next season at One Shilling less per head.
"This reduction, however, is not, as might be supposed, to be purchased at the sacrifice
either of quantity or quality. The number of plovers' eggs is to be undiminished. The
plate to be provided is to have the same coronet's crest. There are to be prawns, when
in season.
" It is with no unusual pride, also, that I announce that there is to be no change in the
Brougham. It will be jobbed next year as usual.
" This pride is naturally strengthened by the fact, that stipulations have been expressly
made, that the coachman is to have a new livery. This point has been amiably conceded by
the Livery-stable keeper.
" My dear Girls,
" It is my fondest wish through life to see you comfortably settled.
" You must do all you can to accomplish that anxious end.
" It grieves me to see that you have lost your beautiful complexions during the past
season. You must try all you can to regain them amid the healthy breezes of the sea-side.
* Horse-riding will be provided, when necessary.
" Donkey-riding will, also, be allowed to such of you as are not too proud to partake of it.
dear father successfully to the effect that, during
your absence, your pocket-money is to be in-
creased. The rate of that increase will be
learnt by yourselves, when you go into the library
to wish your anxious parent ' good-bye.' The
smallest favour deserves a gratelul recognition.
" To that negociation, there was only one
stipulation laid down:—'All cigars are to be
paid for out of your own money.'
" It seemed only just to me, that your sisters
have no right to pay for your smoking.
" Before leaving, I hope you have settled all
your bills, tailors' and otherwise.
" My dear Boys and Girls,
" Go, and enjoy yourselves, with a due regard
to economy.
" Write to your dear Mother, as often as you
can save the postage.
" Heaven bless you ! "
Here Materfamilias rose with affecting
solemnity from the ottoman, and kissed her
children all round.
The ceremony was brought to an abrupt close
by Plush Breeches appearing at the door,
and announcing gravely that "luncheon was
on the table ! "
We must not omit to mention, that the above
speech was delivered in a clear, firm, sound,
musical voice, in which the authority of the
Matron was not less audible than the affection
of the Mother.
It was listened to attentively by all, excepting
by the youngest boy (Master Joe), who amused
himself, during its delivery, by wiping his dirty
boots on the cat's (a genuine Angola) furry back.
The House broke up the next day, by taking
the Steamer from London to Scarborough.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[September 12, 1857.
THE SPEECH OF MATERFAMI LIAS,
AT THE END OF THE SEASON.
S the Season is over, Mater-
familias assembled her beau-
tiful daughters in the Drawing-
room, in order to address them,
previous to their going to the
Sea-side.
Five young ladies, of various
ages and different styles of
beauty, responded to the mater-
nal call. Their dresses were
limp and faded, and looked
care-worn, as though the vast
amount of work they had gone
through, for months past, had
been too much for them. Like
their exhausted wearers, they
scarcely had a bit of colour left.
In answer to inquiries,
" Where Julia was ? " the
Lady's-Maid-in-Waiting stated
that "her young Missus was
" Letters of introduction will be forwarded
to you for the wealthy friends and desirable
acquaintances you may chance to meet during
your stay.
" Round hats for each of you have been placed
in your respective bed-rooms. They are of the
largest possible size.
" New bathing-gowns, of an elegant ultra-
marine French pattern, fresh from Dieppe, have
also been placed in your trunks.
" You must be careful not to get wet feet.
" Above all, let me impress upon you strongly
to beware how you flirt with strangers, or
younger sons.
" Your whole future depends upon your dis-
cretion in these little matters.
" I rely on your good sense. I trust princi-
pally to the good example your fond mother has
always set you.
" My dear Boys,
" It will be your duty during your holiday
to take care of your sisters.
'' You must do nothing to thwart their plans.
" You must conform to the meal hours they
no7(iteMed7et,1or^ a . , .
a sick headache, she had had , You m^st accompany them m their walks,
her breakfast that morning in an£ ^cort them m their donkey excursions,
bed." You must not, as their natural protectors,
allow them to go to the Spa, or the Esplanade,
or the Assembly llooms, or the Library, by
themselves. It would never do !
" I beg of you not to introduce to them any
of your smoking, or billiard friends, excepting
such as_, from their high position in life, may
be considered worthy of the favour. A Title, of
course, is always its own introduction.
My dear Boys and Girls, " I entreat of you not to add to your sisters'
" I need not tell you the Season is over. You all of you want change of air. It is not only ,expenses. The cold meat, which is 'intended for
my opinion, but the opinion, also, of that worthy man and physician! Dr. Knightbell. It the m?^8 breakkst> must 2ot ,be consumeaf
is my dutv, therefore, as your Mother, to see that vou have it. ! OTe"»S"t lor your supper Such an act of
" The struggle with your poor father has been a long and a painful one. For weeks and 1 greediness, not only will reflect.on your selfish-
The Boys having been sum-
moned from the stable, Mater-
eamilias, taking her seat upon
the large yellow damask otto-
man, (which had had its brown-holland envelope pulled off for the occasion), proceeded,
after arranging her head-dress, and giving a slight impressive cough, to address her family
as follows:—
weeks he would not listeii to the urgency of my entreaties. Ruin stared him in the face.
The expense, he declared, would drive him to the workhouse. At last, my tears have pre-
ness, but will materially tend, also, to swell the
weekly bills.
A pint of shrimps each will be allowed you
vailed. He has consented to grant vou each a six weeks' absence. • iJ1UL 7 ■""•"I* edLU W1
" It is almost superfluous for me to state, that no efforts shall be left undone, on my part, ; ^fi^-not one stomp more,
to get those six wis extended to eight. . _ . '.. "Lte
It is with profound regret that I cannot congratulate you, as I should wish, on the
success of the past Season. The matrimonial negociations, however, which have been broken
off by the suspension of the usual festivities, must be renewed, with additional vigour,
next Spring, and prosecuted with amiable firmness, and yet dignified sweetness, until carried
to a • favourable termination,—which, to my mind, means St. George's, Hanover Square.
" I cannot disguise from you the exalted pride and soothing pleasure I feel in the signal
triumph I have gained over Mrs. Grundy, in having succeeded in breaking off the match
between Captain Albany Knightsbridge and her youngest daughter.
" We must be fully prepared to act on the defensive against any retaliations that may
be taken against us from that hostile quarter.
" In t he meantime, it is my agreeable province to inform you, that the Captain remains
our friend. From a billet-doux, couched in the most courteous of words, which I have just
received from him, I am enabled to state, that he has generously consented to dine with us
next. Christmas Day.
" His poor respected father, Lord Baron de Bceuf, it pains me deeply to communicate,
still lies in a very dangerous condition. The large estates are fortunately entailed, ana
our dear friend Albany is the next heir in succession. Entertaining the very highest respect
for his honourable parents, and expressing, as we do, our unfeigned regret for his deplor-
able position, still we cannot help hoping that everything may occur for the best.
" I have entered into a fresh treaty with Mr. Gunter. The terms are satisfactorily in
our faTOur. He has agreed to provide suppers for us next season at One Shilling less per head.
"This reduction, however, is not, as might be supposed, to be purchased at the sacrifice
either of quantity or quality. The number of plovers' eggs is to be undiminished. The
plate to be provided is to have the same coronet's crest. There are to be prawns, when
in season.
" It is with no unusual pride, also, that I announce that there is to be no change in the
Brougham. It will be jobbed next year as usual.
" This pride is naturally strengthened by the fact, that stipulations have been expressly
made, that the coachman is to have a new livery. This point has been amiably conceded by
the Livery-stable keeper.
" My dear Girls,
" It is my fondest wish through life to see you comfortably settled.
" You must do all you can to accomplish that anxious end.
" It grieves me to see that you have lost your beautiful complexions during the past
season. You must try all you can to regain them amid the healthy breezes of the sea-side.
* Horse-riding will be provided, when necessary.
" Donkey-riding will, also, be allowed to such of you as are not too proud to partake of it.
dear father successfully to the effect that, during
your absence, your pocket-money is to be in-
creased. The rate of that increase will be
learnt by yourselves, when you go into the library
to wish your anxious parent ' good-bye.' The
smallest favour deserves a gratelul recognition.
" To that negociation, there was only one
stipulation laid down:—'All cigars are to be
paid for out of your own money.'
" It seemed only just to me, that your sisters
have no right to pay for your smoking.
" Before leaving, I hope you have settled all
your bills, tailors' and otherwise.
" My dear Boys and Girls,
" Go, and enjoy yourselves, with a due regard
to economy.
" Write to your dear Mother, as often as you
can save the postage.
" Heaven bless you ! "
Here Materfamilias rose with affecting
solemnity from the ottoman, and kissed her
children all round.
The ceremony was brought to an abrupt close
by Plush Breeches appearing at the door,
and announcing gravely that "luncheon was
on the table ! "
We must not omit to mention, that the above
speech was delivered in a clear, firm, sound,
musical voice, in which the authority of the
Matron was not less audible than the affection
of the Mother.
It was listened to attentively by all, excepting
by the youngest boy (Master Joe), who amused
himself, during its delivery, by wiping his dirty
boots on the cat's (a genuine Angola) furry back.
The House broke up the next day, by taking
the Steamer from London to Scarborough.