DOI issue:
September 12, 1857
DOI Page / Citation link: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16620#0117
September, 12, 1857.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
107
THE HARP OP THE HEBREW MINSTREL.
% 3&omantr.
I1 a little man with a large hooked nose
Chance made me the beholder;
And he bore a bag of cast-off clothes:
He had slung it o'er his shoulder.
And he sang : " The Divorce Bill's
law at last,
That is something like pro-
gression !
But the Oaths Bill overboard was
cast:
We are slavesuntil next Session!"
He shook his head, and he heaved
a sigh,
Then another mood came o'er
him:
And he winked one bright black
almond eye
At the world that passed before
him.
There was a curl upon that lip,
Where scorn for ever lingers,
And he put his thumb to his nose's tip,
And he vibrated his fingers.
Tims he took a sight at the thoughtless crowd,
Then he felt in his waistcoat pocket.
His spirit, though his head was bowed,
Soared loftier than a rocket.
And his little harp from his vest he drew,
And between his teeth he stuck it;
And the street boys all cried, " Go it, Jew ! "
When the Hebrew Minstrel struck it.
A FINGER IN A SLING.
MORE PLUSH AND BUCKLES.
Continental intelligence has for some time consisted of chronicles
of mere flunkeyism. Kissing feet, kissing hands, vivats, triumphal
arches, flags, uniforms, and livery in all its forms, cockades, gold lace,
shoulder-knots, and shoebuckles—these have been the principal facts
and phenomena that our own correspondents have lately been exhibiting
to the British public. Flunkeyism is generally rampant, but particu-
larly so in Hungary of all places in Europe, where it actually boils up
and over, and runs out into acts of enthusiastic extravagance ; such,
for instance, as the exploit thus recorded by our fashionable contem-
porary :—
" A very wealthy gentleman of the department of Neograd, in Bloscovicz, solicited
the favour of the Emperor that he might drive him himself, and harness his own
horses in the carriage. This was granted, and accordingly the Magyar gentleman
mounted the Imperial box, and did the office of 'whip,' from the station ol
Ypolyssag, as far as the town of Balassa-Gyarmath, which he entered amidst the
shouts of delight—not simply amusement—of crowds of the inhabitants."
This glorious act of coachmanship will doubtless excite emulation;
and sundry Hungarian flunkeys will try if they cannot exceed the
servility evinced in it. Some other Magyar gentleman, glowing with
the fervour of baseness which inspired the gentleman's-gentleman-like
gentleman of Neograd, will probably implore the Emperor of Austria
to allow him to brush his Majesty's clothes, or may supplicate for the
honour of blacking the Imperial boots. For which last-mentioned act
of loyal homage the Sovereign will peradventure reward his vassal
with permission to change his ancestral motto for that of " Honour
Bright."_ The method of worshipping the Pope, also, by cleaning his
shoes, might be added to the self-abasement of kissing his feet, above
referred to. In that case, the menial service should always precede
that of the lip, for an obvious reason. The polishing, preliminary to
the prostration, would, by the way, have to be performed, not by the
application of Day-and-Martin, but by friction with bread crumb, that,
according to " Things that everybody should know," being the proper
way to clean white satin slippers, which his Holiness the Pope wears
in addition to his pontifical petticoats.
Do you know who Bessy Bodkin is ? Ask the first young lady under
five years of age, whom you may meet. She will tell you that Bessy is
the sister of Billy Wilkin, Long Hester, and two others, and will point
her out to you as the third finger of your hand. Well, somebody has
discovered that when Bessy was made, nature utterly forgot the noblest
use to which the human hand can be applied, namely, the playing on
the pianoforte, and in her negligence, so tied up Bessy with ligaments
and tendons, that she cannot come down on the keys with the aplomb \ f j mutation of the accursed beast
A WORD TO THE AVENGER
Soldier ! when thou, beneath thy bayonet,
Shalt get a devilish Sepoy, save the wretch,
Safe if thou canst but make him, for Jack Ketch ;
His howls, which none who heard them should forget,
Were lost amid war's uproar; rather let
The miscreant swing in exemplary throes
Upon the gallows; but if thou suppose
That show uncertain, then exact our debt,
And there : in full: but be not thou defiled
of her brothers and sisters. And somebody, aforesaid, has contrived a
-ning called the Trito-Dactylo-Gymnast, which is to be affixed to Bessy,
and is to enable her to acquit herself better than nature intended. The
profound ingenuity displayed in the title of the invention is as preter-
natural as the thing itself. What Tritons, Dactyls, or Gymnastics
have to do with pianoforte-playing we do not affect to know, but we are
just as much delighted as if we did. What a wonderful age we
live in!
What miracles of perfection our artists ought to be ! What a great
creature Mendelssohn would have been, had he only had a Trito-
Dactylo-Gymnast ! We always felt that there was something wanting,
even in his most exquisite compositions. It was the want of Trito-
dactylo-gymnastic treatment. We are intoxicated to hear, however
Who babes and women slew with lingering pain.
Upon the wretched slave thy vengeance feast;
There stop : nor let his gufit thy manhood stain,
But spare the Indian mother and her child.
RIGHTS AND CEREMONIES.
that Mil. Ella has patriotically undertaken to go through all ■ only altered):
Mendelssohn's works, with a Trito-Dactylo-Gymnast on both hands,
and write up the music to the mark the composer would have attained,
had he known of this unutterably important invention. A new era in
music is at hand—or at least at third finger. Moreover, we observe
that " medical testimony" to the merits of the machine is proffered.
To be sure the name of the proposed medical witness is one that would , .
not infallibly insure the insertion of his advertisements in a respectable | cbdurate.
paper, but that is a trifle. Trito-Dactylo-Gymnastics. We linger
ever—dally with such a poluphloisboyothalassesetic name, and mildly
recal the deep wisdom of the venerable j. P. Harley, who quaintly
remarked with a grimace of disfavour directed at some polysyllabic
puff: "the more Greek the more Quack."
Punch cannot understand how the opponents of the Jews hold out
against that persecuted race. The latter do everything which their
consciences will permit in imitation of the Christians. Even in their
marriages we observe they are now copying the fashionable practice of
their oppressors. In the Times one day last week, we read (names
At the residence of the bride's father, by the Reverend Moses Aaron, aaisttd
by the Reverend Samuel Isaacs, Reuben Moss, Esq., to Rebecca, daughter ol
Solomon Malachi, Esq."
What more can the Hebrews do to prove that they are Englishmen,
than to_ adopt our ceremonial follies. Surely, after this touching
proof of their regard for us, even Puseyite bishops will cease to be
an old gentleman s intolerant enquiry on the oaths
administration bill.
" It's ail nonsense and affectation, Sir ! Don't tell me. Why can't
Baron Rothschild take the Oath like a Christian, Sir, and so put an
end to this stupid business ? It's enough to make a Quaker swear.
Sir!" ■ - -
LODGING-HOUSE SAYINGS.
(MuM.li/ in use amongst the lodging-house keepers at Watering flacts.j
Every key has its double.
A slice off a cut joint is not missed.
An open tea-caddy is good for an old soul.
Meat and bread make the cheeks red.
Haifa Leg is better than no Leg.
a trip to the sea-side makes one acquainted with strange bed-feilowg.
You may take the gin-bottle to the Pump, until it gets broken
Five fingers hold more than two forks.
It's the last pot of marmalade that breaks the cat's back.
Lodgers find the bacon, and lodging-keepers cabbage.
Stranger's meat is the greatest treat.
Dou't be like the drayman's horse, that draws beer, and drinks w&t«r.
The faster you bone the richer your flesh vriL De.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
107
THE HARP OP THE HEBREW MINSTREL.
% 3&omantr.
I1 a little man with a large hooked nose
Chance made me the beholder;
And he bore a bag of cast-off clothes:
He had slung it o'er his shoulder.
And he sang : " The Divorce Bill's
law at last,
That is something like pro-
gression !
But the Oaths Bill overboard was
cast:
We are slavesuntil next Session!"
He shook his head, and he heaved
a sigh,
Then another mood came o'er
him:
And he winked one bright black
almond eye
At the world that passed before
him.
There was a curl upon that lip,
Where scorn for ever lingers,
And he put his thumb to his nose's tip,
And he vibrated his fingers.
Tims he took a sight at the thoughtless crowd,
Then he felt in his waistcoat pocket.
His spirit, though his head was bowed,
Soared loftier than a rocket.
And his little harp from his vest he drew,
And between his teeth he stuck it;
And the street boys all cried, " Go it, Jew ! "
When the Hebrew Minstrel struck it.
A FINGER IN A SLING.
MORE PLUSH AND BUCKLES.
Continental intelligence has for some time consisted of chronicles
of mere flunkeyism. Kissing feet, kissing hands, vivats, triumphal
arches, flags, uniforms, and livery in all its forms, cockades, gold lace,
shoulder-knots, and shoebuckles—these have been the principal facts
and phenomena that our own correspondents have lately been exhibiting
to the British public. Flunkeyism is generally rampant, but particu-
larly so in Hungary of all places in Europe, where it actually boils up
and over, and runs out into acts of enthusiastic extravagance ; such,
for instance, as the exploit thus recorded by our fashionable contem-
porary :—
" A very wealthy gentleman of the department of Neograd, in Bloscovicz, solicited
the favour of the Emperor that he might drive him himself, and harness his own
horses in the carriage. This was granted, and accordingly the Magyar gentleman
mounted the Imperial box, and did the office of 'whip,' from the station ol
Ypolyssag, as far as the town of Balassa-Gyarmath, which he entered amidst the
shouts of delight—not simply amusement—of crowds of the inhabitants."
This glorious act of coachmanship will doubtless excite emulation;
and sundry Hungarian flunkeys will try if they cannot exceed the
servility evinced in it. Some other Magyar gentleman, glowing with
the fervour of baseness which inspired the gentleman's-gentleman-like
gentleman of Neograd, will probably implore the Emperor of Austria
to allow him to brush his Majesty's clothes, or may supplicate for the
honour of blacking the Imperial boots. For which last-mentioned act
of loyal homage the Sovereign will peradventure reward his vassal
with permission to change his ancestral motto for that of " Honour
Bright."_ The method of worshipping the Pope, also, by cleaning his
shoes, might be added to the self-abasement of kissing his feet, above
referred to. In that case, the menial service should always precede
that of the lip, for an obvious reason. The polishing, preliminary to
the prostration, would, by the way, have to be performed, not by the
application of Day-and-Martin, but by friction with bread crumb, that,
according to " Things that everybody should know," being the proper
way to clean white satin slippers, which his Holiness the Pope wears
in addition to his pontifical petticoats.
Do you know who Bessy Bodkin is ? Ask the first young lady under
five years of age, whom you may meet. She will tell you that Bessy is
the sister of Billy Wilkin, Long Hester, and two others, and will point
her out to you as the third finger of your hand. Well, somebody has
discovered that when Bessy was made, nature utterly forgot the noblest
use to which the human hand can be applied, namely, the playing on
the pianoforte, and in her negligence, so tied up Bessy with ligaments
and tendons, that she cannot come down on the keys with the aplomb \ f j mutation of the accursed beast
A WORD TO THE AVENGER
Soldier ! when thou, beneath thy bayonet,
Shalt get a devilish Sepoy, save the wretch,
Safe if thou canst but make him, for Jack Ketch ;
His howls, which none who heard them should forget,
Were lost amid war's uproar; rather let
The miscreant swing in exemplary throes
Upon the gallows; but if thou suppose
That show uncertain, then exact our debt,
And there : in full: but be not thou defiled
of her brothers and sisters. And somebody, aforesaid, has contrived a
-ning called the Trito-Dactylo-Gymnast, which is to be affixed to Bessy,
and is to enable her to acquit herself better than nature intended. The
profound ingenuity displayed in the title of the invention is as preter-
natural as the thing itself. What Tritons, Dactyls, or Gymnastics
have to do with pianoforte-playing we do not affect to know, but we are
just as much delighted as if we did. What a wonderful age we
live in!
What miracles of perfection our artists ought to be ! What a great
creature Mendelssohn would have been, had he only had a Trito-
Dactylo-Gymnast ! We always felt that there was something wanting,
even in his most exquisite compositions. It was the want of Trito-
dactylo-gymnastic treatment. We are intoxicated to hear, however
Who babes and women slew with lingering pain.
Upon the wretched slave thy vengeance feast;
There stop : nor let his gufit thy manhood stain,
But spare the Indian mother and her child.
RIGHTS AND CEREMONIES.
that Mil. Ella has patriotically undertaken to go through all ■ only altered):
Mendelssohn's works, with a Trito-Dactylo-Gymnast on both hands,
and write up the music to the mark the composer would have attained,
had he known of this unutterably important invention. A new era in
music is at hand—or at least at third finger. Moreover, we observe
that " medical testimony" to the merits of the machine is proffered.
To be sure the name of the proposed medical witness is one that would , .
not infallibly insure the insertion of his advertisements in a respectable | cbdurate.
paper, but that is a trifle. Trito-Dactylo-Gymnastics. We linger
ever—dally with such a poluphloisboyothalassesetic name, and mildly
recal the deep wisdom of the venerable j. P. Harley, who quaintly
remarked with a grimace of disfavour directed at some polysyllabic
puff: "the more Greek the more Quack."
Punch cannot understand how the opponents of the Jews hold out
against that persecuted race. The latter do everything which their
consciences will permit in imitation of the Christians. Even in their
marriages we observe they are now copying the fashionable practice of
their oppressors. In the Times one day last week, we read (names
At the residence of the bride's father, by the Reverend Moses Aaron, aaisttd
by the Reverend Samuel Isaacs, Reuben Moss, Esq., to Rebecca, daughter ol
Solomon Malachi, Esq."
What more can the Hebrews do to prove that they are Englishmen,
than to_ adopt our ceremonial follies. Surely, after this touching
proof of their regard for us, even Puseyite bishops will cease to be
an old gentleman s intolerant enquiry on the oaths
administration bill.
" It's ail nonsense and affectation, Sir ! Don't tell me. Why can't
Baron Rothschild take the Oath like a Christian, Sir, and so put an
end to this stupid business ? It's enough to make a Quaker swear.
Sir!" ■ - -
LODGING-HOUSE SAYINGS.
(MuM.li/ in use amongst the lodging-house keepers at Watering flacts.j
Every key has its double.
A slice off a cut joint is not missed.
An open tea-caddy is good for an old soul.
Meat and bread make the cheeks red.
Haifa Leg is better than no Leg.
a trip to the sea-side makes one acquainted with strange bed-feilowg.
You may take the gin-bottle to the Pump, until it gets broken
Five fingers hold more than two forks.
It's the last pot of marmalade that breaks the cat's back.
Lodgers find the bacon, and lodging-keepers cabbage.
Stranger's meat is the greatest treat.
Dou't be like the drayman's horse, that draws beer, and drinks w&t«r.
The faster you bone the richer your flesh vriL De.