DOI Heft:
September 12, 1857
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16620#0123
September 12, 1857.j PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. H3
HOW MEN OF BUSINESS DO BUSINESS.
Being a Sketch of the Proceedings at a Railway Meeting, and an example to " the Classes
whom City men affect to despise."
HE General Meeting of the
Grand Centrifugal and Centri-
petal Railway took place at
Freemason's Hall, on Thursday
last, pursuant to notice. An
unusual crowd was observed
round the shop of a respect-
able toyman nearly opposite
the hall, some time before
the opening of the doors, and
it was ascertained that dis-
affected shareholders were
making large investments in
peashooters and hard peas.
In a few minutes from the
opening, every spot from
which a bombardment of the
platform was possible had
been occupied.
At twelve o'clock the Chair-
man, Me. Benison, entered
with other directors, and a
tremendous volley of peas in-
stantly rattled across the hall.
The Chairman, with a calm
smile, put up his umbrella,
and under its cover proceeded
to his place, and took his seat.
The assailants, unwilling to
exhaust their ammunition early in the campaign, ceased firing, and began yelling. At the
expiration of half an hour of this kind of remonstrance, Mb. Benison was permitted to
speak, with occasional interruption by a few personal criticisms, and illustrative notes.
The Chairman said that there was no doubt the Bail way Company had been shamefully
robbed. (Yells,_and cries of, "All your fault," "How's your friend in gaol," fycf) It might
be said, that it was a disgrace to the managers of the company not to have selected worthier
servants, and to have exercised more vigilance, ("So it is!") but he treated such remarks
with scorn and contempt. ("Yah! Yah !") They were the kind of remarks a ribald press
conducted by anonymous scribblers in garrets, would make ("Yah! Yah!") and he felt that
commercial men, men of business, ought not to heed such censures.
A Voice, (ironically) Vexat censura Columbas.
The Chairman. What has Columbus to do with railways ? he didn't discover them, he
discovered America, and you ought to know it, Sir, though no amount of ignorance in such a
meeting would astonish me.
Here the meeting hastily passed an unanimous resolution to give the Chairman another
volley of peas, and did ; and a preference shareholder having dexterously purloined the
umbrella, Mr. Benison was exposed to the rude pelting of the pitiless storm. He bore it
manfully, and took advantage of a lull to exclaim : "Boil your peas, gentlemen, next time, if
you please." Order being at length restored,
The Chairman said, that the next point was to decide, who should bear the loss caused
by the villany of their official. (" You! you!") That was simply infernal nonsense, and he
would call the police if they made such asses of themselves. (Immense uproar.) Would
they hear him now ? (Yells.) 0, very well. Take your time, Miss Lucy.
A Shareholder from the body of the hall here roared, that if the Chairman dared to call
him Miss Ltjcy, he would come round and darken his daylights.
• The Chairman would like to see the honourable shareholder at it. (A shower of peas.)
He thought that the meeting was a great ass to waste its money in peashooting, instead of
keeping the money to help to pay their losses. (Uproar). You know you must pay them, you
foolish idiots, continued the Chairman, and I can make you, and I will. (Shame!) No,
the shame is with a set of fellows who hesitate to pay what they ought to pay. (A shower
of peas.)
A Voice. The law decides that the preference shareholders are not liable.
The Chairman. I decide that they are, and I am law here, my dear friends.
A Voice. Lex nan scripta.
The Chairman. Don't talk about Scripture in that profane way, Sir, or I'll have you
dragged out by the collar, I will, by Jupiter. Now, gentlemen, I propose that we pass a
resolution declaring the liability of all of you to pay these losses. (A roar of indignation,
and the meeting, too much occupied in shouting to be able to blow through the tin tubes, flings its
hats at the Chairman.)
The Chairman. Gentlemen, your hats may be felt, but I'm hanged if your remonstrances
are. (Frantic with rage,^ the meeting gesticulates, and shakes its fists at the Chair. The Chair-
man smiles, but his cousin, seated near him, takes a double sight at the meeting, on which the
yells are redoubled, with cries of Shame! Chair, chair!)
The Chairman (blandly). What is your pleasure ?
The Meeting, rut down your cousin for his insolence.
The Chairman. I shall do nothing of the kind. He would not be my cousin if he did not
take a sight at anybody who annoyed him. (Here a preference shareholder's walking-stick
alighted in the pit of the honourable Chairman's stomach.) If the fellow who flung that
will claim it after the meeting, I'll tan his objectionable hide for him until he asks me to
leave off (confusion). Now, then, for the resolution I have suggested. (Roars of indignation,
catcalls, and yells.)
The Chairman. Gentlemen, we are practical
men of business, men with counting-houses, and
ledgers, and Milner's safes, and bankers' books,
and all that distinguishes the prudent British
capitalist from men of straw, and therefore it
behoves us to act as such. We have blundered
frightfully, and we have been done dreadfully,
and now we must wriggle out of the mess as best
we may. I've got lots of proxies in my pocket,
and I shall do the thing my own way; and as
you won't agree to my plan, I shall adjourn the
meeting. Get out with you. (Tremendous
sensation).
A Shareholder. I say, old fellow, I want to
put a case to you. Answer this, now. Suppose
that--
The Chairman. I'm not such a dam fool as
to answer a suppositious question.
Here the meeting became utterly ungovern-
able ; chairs were hurled at the directors, and
twenty stalwart shareholders calling to clear a
lane, seized a form, that they might bring it to
bear on the Chairman in the light of a battering-
ram, while others flung their useless pea-
shooters, hats, and the legs of chairs. The
Chairman, unable to be heard, held up a large
sheet of paper on which he had written " Go to
Blazes," and amid the increased fury, rushed
out_ with his colleagues. The other men of
business, having smashed the chandeliers, masonic
pictures, and windows, then separated without
doing further damage.
THE BLACK BROTHERS.
To neither of the parties mentioned in the
following dialogue is Mr. Punch in the habit of
making frequent allusion. He hopes, indeed,
that the time will come when it will be deemed
as indecorous to name one of them in polite
society as it now is to name the other. But as a
Devil and an Attorney are seldom brought into
such fitting juxtaposition as in the following
Magisterial dictum, Mr. Punch may be pardoned
for calling attention to it.
A vicious painter was charged, the other
morning, at the Thames Police Office, with
assaulting a dock officer. The latter seems to
have borne a good deal of insolence from the
prisoner, but finally to have referred him to the
spiritual enemy of mankind. On the hearing,
"The prisoner persisted that a pawnbroker's duplicate
was taken from him, and said Mr. Sheppard was a pretty
kind of a superior officer to tell him to go to the Devil.
" Mr. Yardi.ey. But not until you made a disturbance,
and threatened him with the Attorney."
The excellent Magistrate's estimate of an
Attorney, and his regarding the bringing up the
other bad personage as a mere case of equitable
" quits " will probably be approved by all well-
informed readers. It occurs to us to add, as
utterly irrelevant, that Mr. Yardley's heart is
in the right place, and is a heart of oak, pro-
bably the Yardley Oak immortalised by the poet
Cowper.
VIVAT "VICTORIA REGIA."
A Warm little corner has been built for the
Great Water Lily, the Victoria Regia, at an
expense of £3000, in Kew Gardens. It is evi-
dently flourishing, and looks remarkably well.
This gives us an admirable opportunity of repeat-
ing rather a clever thing that is attributed to
Mrs. Judy's esteemed friend, Dr. Locock. Being
asked by a lady of rank why the plant was called
Victoria Regia, he gallantly replied, "Doubt-
lessly out of compliment _ to Mrs. Lillie,
Madam." The connection of ideas is not perfectly
established, but still we maintain that this pretty
little "flower of speech" is exceedingly clever
for a Doctor.
Vol. 33.
4—2
HOW MEN OF BUSINESS DO BUSINESS.
Being a Sketch of the Proceedings at a Railway Meeting, and an example to " the Classes
whom City men affect to despise."
HE General Meeting of the
Grand Centrifugal and Centri-
petal Railway took place at
Freemason's Hall, on Thursday
last, pursuant to notice. An
unusual crowd was observed
round the shop of a respect-
able toyman nearly opposite
the hall, some time before
the opening of the doors, and
it was ascertained that dis-
affected shareholders were
making large investments in
peashooters and hard peas.
In a few minutes from the
opening, every spot from
which a bombardment of the
platform was possible had
been occupied.
At twelve o'clock the Chair-
man, Me. Benison, entered
with other directors, and a
tremendous volley of peas in-
stantly rattled across the hall.
The Chairman, with a calm
smile, put up his umbrella,
and under its cover proceeded
to his place, and took his seat.
The assailants, unwilling to
exhaust their ammunition early in the campaign, ceased firing, and began yelling. At the
expiration of half an hour of this kind of remonstrance, Mb. Benison was permitted to
speak, with occasional interruption by a few personal criticisms, and illustrative notes.
The Chairman said that there was no doubt the Bail way Company had been shamefully
robbed. (Yells,_and cries of, "All your fault," "How's your friend in gaol," fycf) It might
be said, that it was a disgrace to the managers of the company not to have selected worthier
servants, and to have exercised more vigilance, ("So it is!") but he treated such remarks
with scorn and contempt. ("Yah! Yah !") They were the kind of remarks a ribald press
conducted by anonymous scribblers in garrets, would make ("Yah! Yah!") and he felt that
commercial men, men of business, ought not to heed such censures.
A Voice, (ironically) Vexat censura Columbas.
The Chairman. What has Columbus to do with railways ? he didn't discover them, he
discovered America, and you ought to know it, Sir, though no amount of ignorance in such a
meeting would astonish me.
Here the meeting hastily passed an unanimous resolution to give the Chairman another
volley of peas, and did ; and a preference shareholder having dexterously purloined the
umbrella, Mr. Benison was exposed to the rude pelting of the pitiless storm. He bore it
manfully, and took advantage of a lull to exclaim : "Boil your peas, gentlemen, next time, if
you please." Order being at length restored,
The Chairman said, that the next point was to decide, who should bear the loss caused
by the villany of their official. (" You! you!") That was simply infernal nonsense, and he
would call the police if they made such asses of themselves. (Immense uproar.) Would
they hear him now ? (Yells.) 0, very well. Take your time, Miss Lucy.
A Shareholder from the body of the hall here roared, that if the Chairman dared to call
him Miss Ltjcy, he would come round and darken his daylights.
• The Chairman would like to see the honourable shareholder at it. (A shower of peas.)
He thought that the meeting was a great ass to waste its money in peashooting, instead of
keeping the money to help to pay their losses. (Uproar). You know you must pay them, you
foolish idiots, continued the Chairman, and I can make you, and I will. (Shame!) No,
the shame is with a set of fellows who hesitate to pay what they ought to pay. (A shower
of peas.)
A Voice. The law decides that the preference shareholders are not liable.
The Chairman. I decide that they are, and I am law here, my dear friends.
A Voice. Lex nan scripta.
The Chairman. Don't talk about Scripture in that profane way, Sir, or I'll have you
dragged out by the collar, I will, by Jupiter. Now, gentlemen, I propose that we pass a
resolution declaring the liability of all of you to pay these losses. (A roar of indignation,
and the meeting, too much occupied in shouting to be able to blow through the tin tubes, flings its
hats at the Chairman.)
The Chairman. Gentlemen, your hats may be felt, but I'm hanged if your remonstrances
are. (Frantic with rage,^ the meeting gesticulates, and shakes its fists at the Chair. The Chair-
man smiles, but his cousin, seated near him, takes a double sight at the meeting, on which the
yells are redoubled, with cries of Shame! Chair, chair!)
The Chairman (blandly). What is your pleasure ?
The Meeting, rut down your cousin for his insolence.
The Chairman. I shall do nothing of the kind. He would not be my cousin if he did not
take a sight at anybody who annoyed him. (Here a preference shareholder's walking-stick
alighted in the pit of the honourable Chairman's stomach.) If the fellow who flung that
will claim it after the meeting, I'll tan his objectionable hide for him until he asks me to
leave off (confusion). Now, then, for the resolution I have suggested. (Roars of indignation,
catcalls, and yells.)
The Chairman. Gentlemen, we are practical
men of business, men with counting-houses, and
ledgers, and Milner's safes, and bankers' books,
and all that distinguishes the prudent British
capitalist from men of straw, and therefore it
behoves us to act as such. We have blundered
frightfully, and we have been done dreadfully,
and now we must wriggle out of the mess as best
we may. I've got lots of proxies in my pocket,
and I shall do the thing my own way; and as
you won't agree to my plan, I shall adjourn the
meeting. Get out with you. (Tremendous
sensation).
A Shareholder. I say, old fellow, I want to
put a case to you. Answer this, now. Suppose
that--
The Chairman. I'm not such a dam fool as
to answer a suppositious question.
Here the meeting became utterly ungovern-
able ; chairs were hurled at the directors, and
twenty stalwart shareholders calling to clear a
lane, seized a form, that they might bring it to
bear on the Chairman in the light of a battering-
ram, while others flung their useless pea-
shooters, hats, and the legs of chairs. The
Chairman, unable to be heard, held up a large
sheet of paper on which he had written " Go to
Blazes," and amid the increased fury, rushed
out_ with his colleagues. The other men of
business, having smashed the chandeliers, masonic
pictures, and windows, then separated without
doing further damage.
THE BLACK BROTHERS.
To neither of the parties mentioned in the
following dialogue is Mr. Punch in the habit of
making frequent allusion. He hopes, indeed,
that the time will come when it will be deemed
as indecorous to name one of them in polite
society as it now is to name the other. But as a
Devil and an Attorney are seldom brought into
such fitting juxtaposition as in the following
Magisterial dictum, Mr. Punch may be pardoned
for calling attention to it.
A vicious painter was charged, the other
morning, at the Thames Police Office, with
assaulting a dock officer. The latter seems to
have borne a good deal of insolence from the
prisoner, but finally to have referred him to the
spiritual enemy of mankind. On the hearing,
"The prisoner persisted that a pawnbroker's duplicate
was taken from him, and said Mr. Sheppard was a pretty
kind of a superior officer to tell him to go to the Devil.
" Mr. Yardi.ey. But not until you made a disturbance,
and threatened him with the Attorney."
The excellent Magistrate's estimate of an
Attorney, and his regarding the bringing up the
other bad personage as a mere case of equitable
" quits " will probably be approved by all well-
informed readers. It occurs to us to add, as
utterly irrelevant, that Mr. Yardley's heart is
in the right place, and is a heart of oak, pro-
bably the Yardley Oak immortalised by the poet
Cowper.
VIVAT "VICTORIA REGIA."
A Warm little corner has been built for the
Great Water Lily, the Victoria Regia, at an
expense of £3000, in Kew Gardens. It is evi-
dently flourishing, and looks remarkably well.
This gives us an admirable opportunity of repeat-
ing rather a clever thing that is attributed to
Mrs. Judy's esteemed friend, Dr. Locock. Being
asked by a lady of rank why the plant was called
Victoria Regia, he gallantly replied, "Doubt-
lessly out of compliment _ to Mrs. Lillie,
Madam." The connection of ideas is not perfectly
established, but still we maintain that this pretty
little "flower of speech" is exceedingly clever
for a Doctor.
Vol. 33.
4—2