Punch: Punch (33.1857)

RATHER DEEP!

Cousin. " Charlie !—Just fancy what People ABE Saying ! "
Captain Charlie. "Well, Georgie !"

Cousin. " That—that—you and I abe going—a—a—to le—Married ! "

Charlie (with presence of mind). "A—never mind, Geoegie,—We Know Better—We are not so Foolish!"

AN IMPUDENT JEW.

Mr. " Jo. Joseph, a general shopkeeper, of the Hebrew persuasion,"
would seem to consider that as he is not permitted to be a legislator,
he may indemnify himself by criticism on the laws that are made for
him, and the judges who administer them. The other day, Mr. Jo., if
the police-report in a four-farthing contemporary be correct (which, by
the way, we don't guarantee to be the case), did bring a poor woman
named Kendall before Mr. Selfe, because he, Joseph, had lately
missed two spoons, two sheets, and what he probably called a veskit.
As these articles were left in an open box, and Kendall, as charwoman,
came in and out of the room in which it was kept, it was clear to
Joseph the Ebrew that she must have taken them. The accused cried,
and declared her innocence, and, we quote the report, remarked : " That
wicked Jew wants to send me to prison." fiat the evidence that
satisfied Jo. Joseph would not satisfy the exkjeant Mr. Selfe, who
came out with the following observation, to the discomfiture of the
Hebrew:—

" There is no evidence at all against her. She ought not to have been taken into
custody at all. She is discharged. i tell you what,,Mr. Jo. Joseph, you are liable
to have an action for false imprisonment brought against you."

Upon this the enraged shopkeeper charged the Magistrate with
being mistaken, and reiterated that the accused was the thief.
Mr. Selfe, however, retained his opinion, and said—

"There is not a tittle of evidence against her, Me. Jo. Joseph. You have done
very wrong, and more respect should be paid to the liberty of the subject. The
poor woman has been deeply wronged, and is discharged."

But the pertinacious Jew was not finished off. He would have the
last word, and (according to the report) he made his exit, observing—

" The Law iih ath good as tlce Judge ith bad."

For which piece of impertinence, Mr. Selfe, if he heard it, should
have locked up the Jew until lie made a penitent appeal for pardon.

Even Shyloek, who had really a good case, and was scandalously
treated by the quibbling Christians, complimented his judge, and
behaved himself like a gentlemanly Hebrew. But really, that Jo.
Joseph, having committed a gross wrong, should be permitted to be
insolent to the Magistrate, is a little too good. However, il" a decent
attorney will take Mr. Selfe's hint, and present Jo. with an instru-
ment inviting him to have the question re-considered, at the suit of
poor Mrs. Kendall, the punishment which he earned in Court may
be administered in the way best calculated to touch his feelings. As
he thinks Christian law so good, it would be liberal to let him have a
little more of it.

DELHI.

Eive days of grim struggle and carnage had passed,
But each night showed a gain on the gain of the last,
Then a bright Sabbath Morning arose on her towers,—
Ere that Sabbath was ended, red Delhi was ours.

Too soon for the plaudit—too soon for the crown:
We wait for the tidings how Delhi went down,
For the proud scroll of honour whose record shall tell
Who bore him the boldest, where all did so well.

But up with the wine-cup—one toast, and but one !
The vengeance of England hath sternly begun,
The Toast shall be Delhi, for Wilson is there,
And treason lies stabbed in its best-guarded lair.

You Brute !—Tears on the eyelash of a complaining wife sparkle
like Diamonds. But she should not play these Diamonds too often, as
they rather tend to drive a husband to his Clubs.