Punch (33.1857)

198

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[November 14, 1857.

A NEW ORDER OF CHIVALRY.

\ o .,.//, ,,/\ j

By the bye, we wonder if, in Telegraph Offices, the accounts will be
"cooked" by electricity? It will be as well for Directors to abstain
from the Stock Exchange, and to give up the practice, after receiving
an important dispatch, of rushing to their broker's two or three times
a-day, or else the public may be raising the cry that the accounts are
"highly charged." In the meantime, we shall look out anxiously
every time we go to the City, to see if there has not shot into existence
a scientific Joe's, where the visitor sees his mutton-chop cooked in the
same room by means of electricity !

THE CAMBRIDGE BANQUET.

How the City can ever forgive itself for having delayed an opportunity
to eat, drink, and flatter, so long as it has postponed these performances
in the case of the Duke of Cambridge, Gog only knows—unless he has
told Magog. Usually, the instant a man, no matter what his antecedents,
has reached the top of the tree, pole, ladder, or whatever other good
or bad eminence he has coveted, the citizens are at him with their
turtle and flummery. Punch need not name names, now that all is
serene, but he has not the faintest doubt that were Wiscount Villiams
himself, at the head of a rabble of his vassals, to rush into the royal
palace, terrify the Field-Marshal P. A. into a fainting fit, and by
menaces obtain (not that he would, if we know our courageous
Sovereign) the promise of a Dukedom and estates to match, the City
WjNs5fi5SS£§yj^r||f^fjS~l^»^<l^y ^ilffe ,• U\jSSfi^' of London would be at the Duke or Lambeth's door, simultaneously
f|__^~=±3^wKJf|rj^slifc/vA '^IIsSe' I w^n muk an(t cat next, morning, begging his Grace to fix a day to

yEis^--r l?!!^5 _T^^^^PP^^p^^S- ; receive the Freedom. Drawing a veil over the terrible picture, and

\\_ - *~~f I 'si -" *^ir7~r JBl ~ IB ~=zEzr^ - simply noting that the City measures men, and measures, by one test,

^Jkv-NV ^&a%L_ •- t\ &\ f" only. Success, Punch cannot but record his astonishment that the Duke

^^^^^^^^ff^'":_" — of Cambridge, who has really merited, and received, far better things

I^^^^eg^^^^P^^^^^^^^^^^^j^fflSfinT than City honours, should so long have been permitted to enjoy the
_J^^;~^^'^'C''\~ r —'—--' ffl^^ golden opinions lie had won, without the additional daub of Guildhall
^ajie^t~ii 1'iir- ~— ^T^i^^^^*^=^^:-^^^~lffm i gold-leaf being smudged upon them.

-^s^-^gjasE, Ull I Amends, however, have been made this last week, when the fated
i^^-r^1''3^--"^--^ ~~ M ~c^^^^^^^^^^^^t Commander-in-Chief was feted m the City, and after enduring a long
\" ^ 1 "'" P address from Sir John Key, one of the few civic magnates who can

_ , , ,, . , j. speak English (Lord Melbourne said so) had to sit out a Mansion

ID any gentleman ever buy a horse without being cheated ? House di whereat assuredly his fellow-guests were of a mixed
Is not the brute always found, within some short time Qrder_ It might be aTnusing t0 sit down with tbe Siamese and
_ after the purchase, to have something or other the AmericaT1 Ambassadors, all of whom are acquainted with our language,
matter with it, which must have been well known to the vendor and the hero Cardigan is not unimposing at table, Prince Vogorides
which rendered it worth less than its price ? lo t hese questions there have entertaining anecdotes from Moldo-Wallachia, and there

can De but one answer, which is so obvious, that all equestrians whose werg some distinguished soldiers, whom even Mr. Punch would gladly
legs are of a natural honest colour will rejoice greatly to hear, that an gee at Mg board> But these were tbe lums of f he Cit pudding aad
Association is about to be established for the purpose of securing goott most of the remaillder might be what is called in Hebrew " a feast
horses tor respectable people under the name of the Horse Society. of Fat Thi » but b nQ means wbat R decent Duke is accustomed to.

1 he object of the Horse Society will be to provide purchasers with However, good fortune makes us acquainted with strange dinner-fellows,
horses correctly described and really and truly appraised at their actual glK JoHN Key the Duke some weU-deserved praise in some
value. With this view the most eminent jockeys veterinary surgeons, well.rounded periods one of the best of which was that in which the
and horse-dealers, will be engaged by the Society to pronounce opinions Chamberlain (not the Lord Chamberlain-—copy the address) paid
on all the animals offered by it tor sale, and as these opinions will be an admirable tribute to «a pen as fearless in its exposure of abuses as
liberally paid for, buyers will of course be enabled to depend upon unsurpassed by the vividness of its graphic power " in dealing with the
them how great rogues soever those who deliver them may be. It is Crimean Campaign where the Duke's laurels were won. Nevertheless,
calculated that even people accustomed to.dealin horsesswill speak the we do not observe |be name of tbe applauded William Howard
truth when they know it is their interest to do so, and therefore the RussELL in the list of guests at the banquet, and we congratulate
Horse Society intends to engage, as professional advisers some of the him thereon, for tbis was not «empty praise » and was far preferable
greatest rascals on the lurf, that is to say on the face of the Earth. tQ f he „ sobd uddl » Mr_ Punch\^ mentioned.

The Horse Society will be a joint-stock company; and though it The Cit ve thfi Duke a SWQrd in the afternoon and a knife and
will be essentially based on the principles of truth and honour, some fork in the evening. The inscription on the former must have been
minds, perhaps, will entertain a little doubt whether it will be able revised by some intelligent foreman at Hancocks', the manufacturers,
very long to preserve its integrity. For Companies on the one hand, fm it ents n0 grammatical error that we can detect. Long may
are proverbially said to have no conscience and on the other, we know H. II. H. behold it hanging over his chimney-piece among his pipes
that very few indeed even of the most high-minded men, can be long and Crimean relics. The knife bore only one word, namely, "Rogers,"
concerned in horse-dealings without slipping into fraud Ihe horse and the fork was impressed with the City device. Both had been
demoralizes almost everybody who has anything to do with him more unexceptionably cleaned, the one by the rotatory knife-cleansing
than merely to ride him; and we can only hope that the poisonous apparafus the fork by a piece of wash-leather bought by the Lord
moral atmosphere which appears, to surround that so-called noble M£Y0R>S 'servant fr0J a /ew named, we believe, Isaacs.
animal may not overpower the Society that will be obliged to breathe Th earlier speeches at the banquet demand, and received, no par-
it, and degrade a chivalrous band of gentlemen into a set of ossy ticukr attenti£n> except from Prince Vogorides and one or two
cKguar ==^=== other foreigners who could not understand a word of them. The

American Minister was good enough to say, in reference to the cere-
COOKING BY ELECTRICITY mony of the day, that he knew nothing about titles, but "could

! understand " a prince being a very decent kind of crittur, and also
We have read an interesting account of a dinner that took place at that he hoped the Indian scoundrels would be tarnation well licked.
St. Denis, at which all the good things were cooked by electricity.: He then liquored, and the Mayor gave the President of the Council,
According to this, the old batterie de cuisine will soon be replaced by a the Earl Granville.

galvanic battery. Our plum-puddings will be boiled by means of i Now Granville's speech was really the event of the week, because
electric currents. Dishes of electric eels will become as common as this is the first time that a Minister of any standing has come out upon
plates of boiled beef at the Old Bailey. Pots and pans will be replaced Indian affairs. It was clear that the Earl had been getting up the
by Leyden jars, and the old spit will be driven out of the kitchen by ! steam, for he had a lot of notes to help him, in case, Mr. Punch sup-
the positive, or negative, pole. j poses, the Mansion-House champagne might make him more ecstatic

An " Electric Cook-shop " will be a new opening in this scientific than rationalistic. He went to work like a man, and after the expected
age. We may live to see at the corner of streets, electric potato-cans, praise of the Duke, began to praise Lord Elgin, for his noble conduct
wi+h a stream of electricity fizzing out instead of the jet of steam. | in coming across to India when he had nothing to do in China,