Punch: Punch (33.1857)

2i4 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [November 21, 1857

The Gov. When that time arrives, Sir, if I am spared, we 'will re-
commence our conversation at the point at which we now drop it.
Good day, Sir.

Mr. Bean. At that time, Sir, I shall ask you whether it is consistent
I with your notions of mercantile propriety to publish an advertisement
I inviting gentlemen into the city to do business, and then treating theui
with rudeness.

j The Gov. Are you out of your senses, young gentleman ?

Mr. Bean (having recovered his excellent temper). Not a bit, Governor.
The Times, which of course represents the moneyed interest, announces
that you do all good bills, if the people who bring them really want
the mopuses, and are not trying to make a pot against a rainy day.
Now, here is a capital bill, fifty at three months, three safe names oa
the back, and I want the money awfully. So, having complied with
all your requisitions, just come in and write us a cheque, unless you
happen to have the tin in your pocket.

The Gov. (smiling). Without endeavouring to disentangle your
meaning, Mr. Brown-

Mr. Bean. Bean, Sir. Think of a brick.

The Gov. I am entirely at a loss to understand the object of that last
suggestion; but to dispose of your application at once, I will just
mention that the dealings of the Bank of England are with commercial
bills, and will wish you, Mr. Brick, a good day.

Mr. Bean. Bean, Sir. And you are so hasty, Governor. I thought
city men piqued themselves on their caution. This is a purely com-
mercial bill. I want every shilling to pay tradespeople, and specially
a tailor, a wine-merchant, and an oyster-monger; and though I must
give a pound or two to my laundress, her husband keeps a sausage and
cat's-meat shop, so that amount of currency will flow in a commercial
! channel, too. Now will you hand over the money ?
§| jSf^ljjlli illM—~ The Gov. You don't understand what you are talking about Sir, and

111 w ^» jfl'---- 1 cannot waste my time in explaining. Pray go away.

\ -- Mr. Bean. But, Governor., I am bound to say that this is a very

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ E_ — I rotten and fishy way of administering the national cash. I don't want

^^^^^^^fe^^^^ - to make offensive allusions to Sir John Paul and Mr. Redpath, but

^~—7<\)^'ir^^^^^^^ ' rea^y t° De told to come for money, and then to find all sorts of shady

— ■ "jIEZ^fZzfifzzLl.,______%Jj!J^^^—^S!^ss^~ excuses thrown into one's face, is rather a bit of everlasting humbug

which one would not expect from a British merchant.
" VAJSTDERDECKEN. BY JOVE ! " The Gov. I am not a British merchant, Sir, so the remark is per-

___fectly inoffensive.

=== Mr. Bean. Now, I consider that you are, Governor, and that you are

, _ trying to sell me. Come, give us the monev.

DOES , HE BANK DO BILLS P 2%<? Gov. I trust, Sir, that when you are at the bar, you will be as

j tt 'ii , j» ii • i pertinacious, but more discriminating, or vour unfortunate clients wid

Tml Tims haying announced that notwithstanding; the financial haying instructed you.

crisis the Bank of England refused no good bills tendered in good , ^ Bmn_ &g tQ h^ xm descending to abuse Governor, because

faith, our young friend, Mr. Larktngton Bean, of the Temple (some-
what incited by the appeals of his laundress and the menaces of his
tailor) made his way into the City yesterday morning, and, arriving at
the Bank, demanded an interview with the Governor. The porter was
at first inclined to give our young friend into custody for profane chaff,
but finding that he was serious and very persevering (having screwed
himself up with some pale ale) the official pointed out the Governor as
he happened to cross one of the courts. Mr. Bean immediately
introduced himself.

Mr. Bean. I say, Governor.

The Governor (very much disgusted and haughtily). Some—mistake—
er—porter—

Mr. Bean. No porter so early in the day, Governor, thank you. I
want to have half a talk with you.

The Gov. Quite impossible, Sir. (Tries to pass on.)

Mr. Bean. Not at all impossible, my dear old fellow, but very
probable, and highly likely. My name is Bean.

The Gov. Neither officially nor privately, Sir, has that fact, or rather
statement, the slightest interest for me.

Mr. Bean. Talking of interest, Governor, just brings us to the point.
You've been and raised the rate again, I see. Ten per cent, eh r

The Gov. Beally, Sir, I have neither time nor inclination to discuss
that topic or any other. You are taking a strange liberty.

Mr. Bean. Pardon me; pardon me, Governor. That sort of thing
won't do at any price. You are an official, created for the benefit of
society. I'm a member of society, and when I ask you a civil question,
I have a right to be answered.

The Gov. (amused). Granting that I were disposed to answer a
question, Sir, I have heard none. Your conduct, certainly, is very
questionable.

Mr. Bean. Neat enough, Governor, and now we come to business.
The question is, will you be good enough to give me a cheque for this
bill?

The Gov. 0! Ah! You are the clerk of one of my tradesmen. When
he sends a proper person to ask for his account in a proper manner,
he will be paid.

Mr. Bean {in his turn very much disgusted). I a clerk, Sir! I a snob,
Sir ! I collect a tradesman's debt, Sir ! I am a gentleman, eating my

it shows you haven't a leg to stand on. What nonsense you talk about
my affair not being commercial! If I didn't deal with tradesmen, they
wouldn't want to give orders to manufacturers, and if I paid 'em, they
wouldn't want money from you. So that I' am at once encouraging
commerce, and promoting the interest of your Bank, and yet you
boggle over a fifty pound bill.

The Gov. My dear Sir, every one to his trade. Do you go on giving
orders to tradesmen, and not paying them, and we, here, will do our
best to accommodate them with the means of executing the commands
with which you favour them.

Mr. Bean. That is the most immoral doctrine I ever heard from an
elderly gentleman in a white choker.

The Gov. What appear the immoralities of commerce are not incom-
patible with social prosperity.

Mr. Bean. Horrid principles! Besides, Governor, the thing is im-
possible. I can't get any more credit.

The Gov. In that case, Sir, you must revert to cash payments.

Mr. Bean. But I have got no cash.

The Gov. In that case, Sir, you must suspend operations.

Mr. Bean. But I can't suspend eating and drinking, and wearing
clothes.

The Gov. I regret your inability to comply with the dictates of
mercantile honour, Sir, and must decline further intercourse with a
person so unfortunately situated. [Effects his retreat.

Mr. Bean. But stop, Governor. Hoy ! I say !
[But as the Governor does not stop, Mr. Bean reflects for a few
moments, and thinks he will call on the "Times" and apprise
the conductors that they are misinformed by their City Corres-
pondent as to the proceedings of the Bank. On second thoughts,
he goes into Birch's, and has some turtle-soup and punch.

Extravagance.

Cleopatra was the first to fling away jewels in the piggish manner,
condemned by the proverb. She was in the habit of throwing pearls
to Antony's (s)wine. _

terms in the Temple, and in all probability shall one day be a Member A Remarkably Quick Passage.—Put a Lawyei on your horse,
of Parliament, and overhaul your Bank Cnarter, Sir. ' and he '11 soon drive you to the Devil.