Punch: Punch (33.1857)

240

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[December 12, 1857.

: - ~ ? ;-: j : serenade for the session.

Here's Parliament met in December !
What, a nuisance to many a member !
Sad abbreviation
Of their short vacation!
For that began hard on September.

The Queen must have had a strong reason
For thus, at this present odd season
The Houses convoking,
In haste hot and smoking,
But the matter is less than high treason.

For a breach of our mere Constitution,
In order to stop prosecution,
The breakers, confession
Have made of transgression,
And wish to receive absolution.

No doubt 'twill be readily granted;
They having no error recanted :
They will freely be shriven,
And fully forgiven,
When all the great spouters have ranted.

Necessity governed their action,
They had to remove a contraction,
Which commerce entangled, .
And soon would have strangled;
They won't have to make satisfaction.

Constraint made them break the Bank Charter,
Which nearly had brought us to barter;
It must have been broken,
When all shall have spoken,
Will be owned in almost every quarter.

But oh ! what a deal of debating,
Of mouthing, and preaching, and prating,
Of frothy oration,
And vague declamation,
The matter in hand are awaiting!

Lord Derby will flow like an ocean,
On amendment as well as on motion,
Disraeli speak columns,
And Gladstone talk volumes,
Devoid of a sensible notion.

For nights will the farce be repeated,
The question confusedly treated,
With cheers and with laughter,
The orators after,
Each joke and each common-place greeted.

And many a diligent crammer,
Statistics and figures will hammer;
And some, approbation,
Will earn by quotation,
From Eton's profound Latin Grammar.

So let us sing, " JJt sunt Divorum,
Mars, Bacchus, Apollo; virorum"—
And " JEffodiuntur"
Those " opes " which {sunt) are
Our " irritamenta malorum."

THE TENT.

Podgers Quintus. " Oh! here's a box o' Lucifers, let's make a fire inside."

PodgerH Secundus. " Oh, conic upstairs, Katey, and play '■Soldiers in the Crimea' with us, and
'.sotto vocej we 'vc got sack a stunnin' Tent."

Eldest, Miss P. " There, you may go and play with your brothers now, Katey, and dont get into
Mischief."

THE STRONG-MINDED WOMAN'S CLUB.

Certain Blue-stockings met together to establish a club. Everything was ready—
pounds of tea had been ordered in. Fanny Fern was to have taken the chair on the
opening-night; when lo and behold! the Committee quarrelled, and the club, in one dark
moment, was broken "to little bits." It seems they could not agree as to" Whether
Gentlemen should be admitted into the smoking-room ?" The Blue-Stockings have
been at scissors drawn ever since.

VERY SORRY TO HEAR IT.

In the last theatrical news from New York we
read an announcement evidently intended to be
complimentary, but which does not speak well
for the kind of entertainments patronised by the
Americans.

" At, 444 Broadway are Nagle's Juvenile Comedians.
Here 2S children play light pieces vn a manner to put their
elders to the blush."

We are extremely sorry, and think that the
sooner the 444 is shut up and the 28 well
whipped, the better.

Infallible Sign of the near Approach
of Christmas. — The annual prize has been
awarded to Prince Albert's Pig.