DOI Heft:
January 29, 1859
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16623#0050
42
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[January 29, 1859.
LETTER FROM THE DEAN OF CARLISLE.
to the editor of punch.
IU,—Although perfectly
aware of the malignant
• a / / \\ hatred which Punch
J Colrts^T LO \ \V bears to religion, and
^(/6st0-CLCsh^n S\ ^though profoundly
convinced that he _ is
actuated by a burning
desire to see eveiy ca-
thedral turned into a
hippodrome, and every
church into a gin-pa-
lace ; yet, as I hope I
know better than to be
uncharitable, I propose
to address to you a few
remarks on the subject
of Pantomimes, with
which horrors my name
has been unhappily
connected. I do not
suppose, however, that
you will insert my let-
ter, inasmuch as I be-
lieve you to be a de-
praved worl filing, and
either too bitterly hos-
tile to good men to
show them fair play, or
too stupidly incapable
of comprehending them
to see the merits of
their arguments. If I
were disposed to write harshly, 1 might use much stronger language.
" I have been represented, Sir, as having stated that a Pantomime is a wicked exhibition.
I adopt, and repeat that statement.
" 1 have said the thing, Sir, too often to have any doubt in my mind of its truth. But
knowing that it is my duty to prove all things, and supposing it possible that the anathemas
of myself and other good men might have induced some outward reformation in these
accursed spectacles, I came to London on Tuesday last, for the purpose of beholding, with
my own eyes, what I deemed it my duty to denounce. I called, in my way, for the Editor of
the Record, who was so good as to leave unfinished a statement that a leading Puseyite had
just eloped with his grandmother, and to accompanv me to the theatre.
" "We selected Drury Lane Theatre, as being the oldest and largest of these temples of
Beelzebub, but as we would not encourage wickedness by paying one farthing, we applied to
Mr. Smith for a box. I am bound to say that in the note enclosing it, there was not a
single oath or other demoralising expression, which, alas, shows the hypocrisy of the world._
[ make no doubt that he and every other manager habituallv use _ lithographed forms of
reply, with the most profane and evil language therein, but in Christian charity, Istate that
there was nothing of the kind in the envelope in question. We were _ shown into a box
marked P, and the initial suggested the word Polly to my friend the Editor. Would that
only folly were practised in the Theatre !
" The box-opener was in red, the livery of the Scarlet Woman. He did not ask for
money, nor would I have given him any; but in exchange for what worldlings call a
play-bill I gave him a tract, called ' Is All Serene, my Cove ?' May it be blessed to the
poor creature!
" Sir, the veil disclosing the iniquity called a Pantomime had some time risen, and what is
profanely called the Transformation scene was before the audience. And what an audience!
Thousands of persons, from the pit (well named) to the ceiling, grinning, with idiotic delight,
at a ghstening spectacle, made up of paint, tinsel, gaudy dresses, red fire, (ah !) and bedizened
females. What must be the influence of such a spectacle ! I do not deny its fascination—
even my eye dwelt on it, I blush to say, with a momentary sensation of pleasure, wlnle the
good man by my side was permitted to be tempted so far as to mutter the slang word
' Stuiming!5
" Then, Sir, commenced a series of wickednesses which I firmly believe have never been
equalled, in so short a time, since the begiiming of the world. I write them with a shudder,
and even the callous creatures who read your paper must feel some little shame at perusing
such a description.
" I do not speak of the horrible morals taught. These were atrocious enough. A poor old
man, apparently the friend of a fiend called the Clown, was treated more brutally than 1
could have conceived flesh could bear. He was dashed on the ground, his face was kicked,
his eye was slapped, he was knocked on the head, all by his false friend, upon whom incessant
remonstrance produced no effect beyond a mocking jeer. Sometimes under the guise of
sociality the athletic ruffian would approach the poor aged creature, whose confidence in
him was touching, and suddenly and without provocation woidd deal him a fearful blow,
which resounded over the house. Sometimes he would wound him, or strike him with a huge
club, or drive a ladder into his abdomen. It was cruel and barbarous. My good friend,
the Editor of the Record, says that these ill-used old men seldom survive more than a night,
and that new victims are hired by the managers, to be slaughtered like the horses in Spanish
bull-fights. But I speak only of what I saw.
" Sir, I saw- with my own eyes several murders that night. I saw a man who represented
a policeman (no, Sir, I am not an ignorant bigot, and I am quite aware that the poor wretch
was not really a policeman) blown into frag-
ments by an explosion, caused by an electric wire.
I am not to be deceived, I beheld his disjointed
limbs fly about, and it is not by the paltry
artifice of bringing in another person, supposed
to be the victim restored to life, that I am to be
deluded. _ I also saw a man's head cut off with
a large pair of scissors, and the body was thrown
down a hole, after much brutal treatment had
been bestowed upon it. A live man was put in
the place of the slain, but again, Sir, I say that
I am not to be taken in. And a third time,
Mr. Punch, I witnessed a similar spectacle,
another policeman (the hatred of the wicked to
all constituted authorities is awful) being stunned
and thrown into a cucumber frame,' whence,
again, the substitute arose, but I am not again
to be so deceived. My friend, the Editor of the
Record, informs me that the manager of the
Theatre contracts with an hospital to take away
the bodies of the persons they put to death, and
when we came out I saw a group of medical
students at, the door of an hotel called the
Albion, who were doubtless Waiting for the
subjects for dissection.
" Sir, the audience evinced no horror at such
scenes. On the contrary, they uttered shouts of
delight when the victims were stricken down;
just such yells, Sir, as the Pagans of the old
Roman amphitheatre emitted when the wounded
gladiator fell upon the ensanguined sand, and
looked round upon the cruel thousands for the
signal of mercy ; but, alas, saw turned-down
thumbs, announcing that he Avas to perish by the
sword of the victor.*
" After such scenes. Sir, permitted in Panto-
mimes by the authorities, why need I dwell
upon lesser, though still great crimes. I am
bound to say that the females engaged did not
dress in the unseemly fashion which 1 had heard
was usual, and I do not know that there was
much more display of their lower limbs than I
have habitually witnessed on the part of the
miserable but fashionable sinners of my Chelten-
ham flock, who wore Crinolines, and had to cross
roads. But, for the rest, the whole performance
was one of wickedness, lying, thieving, smiting,
brawling, and vanity; all, however, thrown into
nothingness by the diabolical atrocity of killing
several persons in order to make a holiday for a
London crowd.
" I returned, Sir, by a late train, but my
friend, the Editor of" the Record, in order
that the carnal pride engendered in him by his
extraordinary gifts and graces might be abased,
was permitted to eat such a number of whelks
at a stall in Vinegar Yard, that he was exces-
sively unwell next day, and his journal came out
for once without a single instance of what the
worldlings and the Tractarians call misrepre-
sentation ; but which good men know to be the
salutary scourgings for the enemies of true
religion.
" I am, Sir, your obedient Servant,
" Erancis Close, D.D."
" The Deanery, Carlisle."
* It was just the other way—pollicem vertebant—but
the High Church declare that the Evangelicals are not
remarkable for the exactitude of their scholarship.—P.
How the Austrians Run.
Por gold, as often as they can: and when
there is no gold, they are too happy to run for
silver.
lacing for ladies.
A waspish waist makes a woful want—of
health.____
One of toe "Italian Irons."—The Holy
Poker!!!
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[January 29, 1859.
LETTER FROM THE DEAN OF CARLISLE.
to the editor of punch.
IU,—Although perfectly
aware of the malignant
• a / / \\ hatred which Punch
J Colrts^T LO \ \V bears to religion, and
^(/6st0-CLCsh^n S\ ^though profoundly
convinced that he _ is
actuated by a burning
desire to see eveiy ca-
thedral turned into a
hippodrome, and every
church into a gin-pa-
lace ; yet, as I hope I
know better than to be
uncharitable, I propose
to address to you a few
remarks on the subject
of Pantomimes, with
which horrors my name
has been unhappily
connected. I do not
suppose, however, that
you will insert my let-
ter, inasmuch as I be-
lieve you to be a de-
praved worl filing, and
either too bitterly hos-
tile to good men to
show them fair play, or
too stupidly incapable
of comprehending them
to see the merits of
their arguments. If I
were disposed to write harshly, 1 might use much stronger language.
" I have been represented, Sir, as having stated that a Pantomime is a wicked exhibition.
I adopt, and repeat that statement.
" 1 have said the thing, Sir, too often to have any doubt in my mind of its truth. But
knowing that it is my duty to prove all things, and supposing it possible that the anathemas
of myself and other good men might have induced some outward reformation in these
accursed spectacles, I came to London on Tuesday last, for the purpose of beholding, with
my own eyes, what I deemed it my duty to denounce. I called, in my way, for the Editor of
the Record, who was so good as to leave unfinished a statement that a leading Puseyite had
just eloped with his grandmother, and to accompanv me to the theatre.
" "We selected Drury Lane Theatre, as being the oldest and largest of these temples of
Beelzebub, but as we would not encourage wickedness by paying one farthing, we applied to
Mr. Smith for a box. I am bound to say that in the note enclosing it, there was not a
single oath or other demoralising expression, which, alas, shows the hypocrisy of the world._
[ make no doubt that he and every other manager habituallv use _ lithographed forms of
reply, with the most profane and evil language therein, but in Christian charity, Istate that
there was nothing of the kind in the envelope in question. We were _ shown into a box
marked P, and the initial suggested the word Polly to my friend the Editor. Would that
only folly were practised in the Theatre !
" The box-opener was in red, the livery of the Scarlet Woman. He did not ask for
money, nor would I have given him any; but in exchange for what worldlings call a
play-bill I gave him a tract, called ' Is All Serene, my Cove ?' May it be blessed to the
poor creature!
" Sir, the veil disclosing the iniquity called a Pantomime had some time risen, and what is
profanely called the Transformation scene was before the audience. And what an audience!
Thousands of persons, from the pit (well named) to the ceiling, grinning, with idiotic delight,
at a ghstening spectacle, made up of paint, tinsel, gaudy dresses, red fire, (ah !) and bedizened
females. What must be the influence of such a spectacle ! I do not deny its fascination—
even my eye dwelt on it, I blush to say, with a momentary sensation of pleasure, wlnle the
good man by my side was permitted to be tempted so far as to mutter the slang word
' Stuiming!5
" Then, Sir, commenced a series of wickednesses which I firmly believe have never been
equalled, in so short a time, since the begiiming of the world. I write them with a shudder,
and even the callous creatures who read your paper must feel some little shame at perusing
such a description.
" I do not speak of the horrible morals taught. These were atrocious enough. A poor old
man, apparently the friend of a fiend called the Clown, was treated more brutally than 1
could have conceived flesh could bear. He was dashed on the ground, his face was kicked,
his eye was slapped, he was knocked on the head, all by his false friend, upon whom incessant
remonstrance produced no effect beyond a mocking jeer. Sometimes under the guise of
sociality the athletic ruffian would approach the poor aged creature, whose confidence in
him was touching, and suddenly and without provocation woidd deal him a fearful blow,
which resounded over the house. Sometimes he would wound him, or strike him with a huge
club, or drive a ladder into his abdomen. It was cruel and barbarous. My good friend,
the Editor of the Record, says that these ill-used old men seldom survive more than a night,
and that new victims are hired by the managers, to be slaughtered like the horses in Spanish
bull-fights. But I speak only of what I saw.
" Sir, I saw- with my own eyes several murders that night. I saw a man who represented
a policeman (no, Sir, I am not an ignorant bigot, and I am quite aware that the poor wretch
was not really a policeman) blown into frag-
ments by an explosion, caused by an electric wire.
I am not to be deceived, I beheld his disjointed
limbs fly about, and it is not by the paltry
artifice of bringing in another person, supposed
to be the victim restored to life, that I am to be
deluded. _ I also saw a man's head cut off with
a large pair of scissors, and the body was thrown
down a hole, after much brutal treatment had
been bestowed upon it. A live man was put in
the place of the slain, but again, Sir, I say that
I am not to be taken in. And a third time,
Mr. Punch, I witnessed a similar spectacle,
another policeman (the hatred of the wicked to
all constituted authorities is awful) being stunned
and thrown into a cucumber frame,' whence,
again, the substitute arose, but I am not again
to be so deceived. My friend, the Editor of the
Record, informs me that the manager of the
Theatre contracts with an hospital to take away
the bodies of the persons they put to death, and
when we came out I saw a group of medical
students at, the door of an hotel called the
Albion, who were doubtless Waiting for the
subjects for dissection.
" Sir, the audience evinced no horror at such
scenes. On the contrary, they uttered shouts of
delight when the victims were stricken down;
just such yells, Sir, as the Pagans of the old
Roman amphitheatre emitted when the wounded
gladiator fell upon the ensanguined sand, and
looked round upon the cruel thousands for the
signal of mercy ; but, alas, saw turned-down
thumbs, announcing that he Avas to perish by the
sword of the victor.*
" After such scenes. Sir, permitted in Panto-
mimes by the authorities, why need I dwell
upon lesser, though still great crimes. I am
bound to say that the females engaged did not
dress in the unseemly fashion which 1 had heard
was usual, and I do not know that there was
much more display of their lower limbs than I
have habitually witnessed on the part of the
miserable but fashionable sinners of my Chelten-
ham flock, who wore Crinolines, and had to cross
roads. But, for the rest, the whole performance
was one of wickedness, lying, thieving, smiting,
brawling, and vanity; all, however, thrown into
nothingness by the diabolical atrocity of killing
several persons in order to make a holiday for a
London crowd.
" I returned, Sir, by a late train, but my
friend, the Editor of" the Record, in order
that the carnal pride engendered in him by his
extraordinary gifts and graces might be abased,
was permitted to eat such a number of whelks
at a stall in Vinegar Yard, that he was exces-
sively unwell next day, and his journal came out
for once without a single instance of what the
worldlings and the Tractarians call misrepre-
sentation ; but which good men know to be the
salutary scourgings for the enemies of true
religion.
" I am, Sir, your obedient Servant,
" Erancis Close, D.D."
" The Deanery, Carlisle."
* It was just the other way—pollicem vertebant—but
the High Church declare that the Evangelicals are not
remarkable for the exactitude of their scholarship.—P.
How the Austrians Run.
Por gold, as often as they can: and when
there is no gold, they are too happy to run for
silver.
lacing for ladies.
A waspish waist makes a woful want—of
health.____
One of toe "Italian Irons."—The Holy
Poker!!!