DOI Heft:
March 26, 1859
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16623#0129
March 26, 1859.J PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 121
Zealous Shoe-black (to Friend who has had his Photograph taken). " Well,
I would a had my boots shined respectible fust, if I'd a been you."
PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT
March 14, Monday. The lawyers have got a grand plan for leaving
Wednesday. Lord John Russell gained a triumph,—his Bill for
improving the law of Debtor and Creditor being read a second time,
and much approved. There is another Bill of the same kind, which
passed the Lords next day; and so the two are to be considered
together, or, as Mr. Hadfield might say, smultaneous. Something
was then done towards relieving the Quakers, whose feelings about
affirmation had been incautiously hurt by the Jew legislation of last
year. It is quite right to remove every kind of vexatious interference
with anybody's creed, or superstition; and as there is no more perse-
cution of Quakers, and as they have "concluded" to dress like other
people, and to talk grammar, it may reasonably be supposed that in a
few years there wfll be no more Quakers left; for who will care to
belong to a sect uidess it is oppressed, or singular ?
Thursday. The Five Powers, having an idea that by their drawing a
boundary-line on the maps of Europe in their Foreign Offices the
Montenegrin savages will be deterred from going into Turkey and
cutting off the noses of the Faithful, have sent out instructions to pre-
pare that invisible fence. This, Lord Malmesbury explained. We
hope the Montenegroes will be as much awed as is expected.
The Commons had a long miscellaneous night, chiefly marked by
Mr. Disraeli's producing his device for getting rid of the objection
to the disfranchisement part of his Bill, and by one of the stereotype
debates upon the privileges of the Guards, which came to nothing.
And it seems that, among the Queen's possessions, is an island called
Jersey, situated in the Channel, very near France ; and as nobody has
ever given such a place any attention, all its laws, prisons, charities,
and the like, are in the awful mess that might be expected. Parliament
is to inquire into the subject.
Friday. Mr. Punch's suggestion to the Water-colours, that they
should not let the Oils have it all their own way—an objectionable
way of putting oil over the waters—has produced its effect; and so
has his other suggestion, that there should be a congress of the repre-
sentatives of Art, in reference to Burlington House. The Water-
colour Society has put in a strong and just claim for a portion of the
site; and Lord Derby has commanded the First Commissioner of
Works to summon an Art-Congress for the discussion of the whole
subject. Mr. Punch is not self-complacent, considering that he saves
the country about three times a-week, besides filling up the rest of his
Westminster entirely to the politicians, and for concentrating all the ™e country aeon* inree nines a-weeK uesiues lining up ine rest 01 ms
Law Courts upon an area to be obtained by making a clean sweep of j tim-e b? conferring the most inestimable boons upon it; but he feels^a
all the dirty, crowded, and pestdential district between Carey Street
and the Strand. " Set a thief to catch a thief," is a respected motto;
and the idea of setting the nuisance, Law, to clear away the nuisance,
Squalor, is a good idea. The proposal to take the money for the
purpose out of the Suitors' Fee Fund is not so preposterous as it
looks; and Lord Chelmsford's condemnation thereof to-night, in
bringing in a little Bill to bnild some little Courts for the little Chan-
cery Judges, was simply official.
Mr. Tite briefly expounded the Great Drainage Scheme for London
little proud that he has thus stirred up all parties to do justice. He
takes this opportunity of announcing, that he declines to sit for
his portrait, or to receive any other testimonial of gratitude from
anybody.
Whether the Derbyites exactly love Lord Canning, or not, is beside
the question. Her Majesty has commanded that his Lordship be at
once made a G. C. B.; and when he writes home that all is serene in
India, he is to have a step up the Peerage ladder, that is to say, he is
to come to Court as an Earl, which is the more appropriate, as he was
and those who are interested in the healthy condition of the Metro- born near Earl's Court Brompton. This came out in a brief Oude
polis may like to know that there is to be a sewer from Clapham, and ! debate, not otherwise interesting. - .. ,
another from Putney, to Deptford. The religious world is acquainted I ™ *he Commons, there was some fun. Mr. Roebuck affectmgly
with the first-mentioned place; and rowing-clubs, and other lovers of; appealed to Lord John Russell not to smash the Government,
good beer, know the second: but as nobody knows Deptford, it may because this might let m the Palmerston lot, and also agitate Europe,
be mentioned that this is a nasty place, on the right-hand side of the Jn™> amid the laughter of the House uprose the furious Cox, member
river, as you go down to eat whitebait, and is opposite to Mr. Scott ior the publlc-houses of Fmsbury He, too, assailed Lord John, and
Russell's vard, where the Great Eastern, alias the Leviathan, alias ' apprised him that he was not half statesman enough for such men as
the Great Ship, was built. At Deptford, the united contents of the
sewers are to be pumped up to a higher level, and taken to Erith, an
objectionable little watering-place, on the right-hand side, and here the
river is to become the sewer. Similar processes will bring the sewage
of the north bank from Hampstead, from Kilburn, and from some
other point, to the river Lea, whence it is to be taken to Barking, an
excessively dirty-looking hole, on the Southend railway, and thence
this sewage goes into the river. All is to be done in four years, and
the Bank has advanced the three millions necessary to do it. A
rate of threepence is to pay this money back in forty years. It is
very desirable that these arrangements should be understood; and
Mr. Punch begs that he may hear of no affectation of dislike of a
subject of so much importance.
The Bill for cheapening conveyancing proceeded, applauded by the
best legal authorities; and the House took the Navy Estimates,
Mr. Gilpin interpolating a small debate about a certain"execution of
a large number of revolted Sepoys, during the Indian war. General
Thompson emitted the most foolish speech which even this poor old
party ever uttered; and Lord Stanley said that the execution was
probably necessary, though the persons who had conducted it had
treated the subject with too much levity. In different hands than
those of a professed _ peace-monger, the topic might have created more
sensation: but fanatics spoil everything.
Tuesday. Sir John Trelawny, Church Rate Reformer, and Slaugh
Cox, and must bid higher for the support of the Great Liberal Party,
of which Cox is the acknowledged Cock. Into such a rage did the
M.P., or Member for Public-houses, work himself, that in order to
enforce his argument (as Burke, on revolution, flung down a dagger,
and Ricaroo, on finance, flung down a one-pound note), he actually
rounded a sentence by flattening the nose of a brother-member who sat
next him. " We will not be made a tool!" roared Cox; and down he
came, like a hammer, on the face of his unlucky neighbour. The
shouts of the House were deafening; and the senatorial Bruiser, thus
at once Box and Cox, drew more laughter than the capital farce of that
name ; Tom Duncombe was obliged to lead the minds of the members
away to some other subject, of not the least consequence. After a
discussion on this, Lord John Russell (who did not dare to trust
himself to look at Cox) stated that he knew what he was about, and
should certainly make his motion on the Monday. After that, Ministers
had nothing to do but to send word to their servants to finish cording
the boxes, only keeping out a few knives and forks and some little
things wanted up to the last moment of moving, and which could be
carried in the cab, or in the perambulator.
Some Indian discussion took place, and it was elicited that the
thanks of Parliament were to be given to Lord Clyde and his army;
but it was felt to be rather doubtful who would have to propose the
vote. The duty may devolve on a small man with a large hat, who says
obleege and se'nnight.
The extremely foolish, because useless, Sale of Poisons Bill passed
terer of the Government Bill, brought on his own for second reading, ! through Committee; and if any inteUigent chemist would just write
at a morning sitting, and on division, carried it by 242 to 16S. This
effort seemed to have exhausted the House, for scarcely anybody came
in the evening. There was a Count.
a plain letter to the Times, and therein say to the House what he says
to any intelligent customer on the subject, little more would be heard
of so silly a measure.
Zealous Shoe-black (to Friend who has had his Photograph taken). " Well,
I would a had my boots shined respectible fust, if I'd a been you."
PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT
March 14, Monday. The lawyers have got a grand plan for leaving
Wednesday. Lord John Russell gained a triumph,—his Bill for
improving the law of Debtor and Creditor being read a second time,
and much approved. There is another Bill of the same kind, which
passed the Lords next day; and so the two are to be considered
together, or, as Mr. Hadfield might say, smultaneous. Something
was then done towards relieving the Quakers, whose feelings about
affirmation had been incautiously hurt by the Jew legislation of last
year. It is quite right to remove every kind of vexatious interference
with anybody's creed, or superstition; and as there is no more perse-
cution of Quakers, and as they have "concluded" to dress like other
people, and to talk grammar, it may reasonably be supposed that in a
few years there wfll be no more Quakers left; for who will care to
belong to a sect uidess it is oppressed, or singular ?
Thursday. The Five Powers, having an idea that by their drawing a
boundary-line on the maps of Europe in their Foreign Offices the
Montenegrin savages will be deterred from going into Turkey and
cutting off the noses of the Faithful, have sent out instructions to pre-
pare that invisible fence. This, Lord Malmesbury explained. We
hope the Montenegroes will be as much awed as is expected.
The Commons had a long miscellaneous night, chiefly marked by
Mr. Disraeli's producing his device for getting rid of the objection
to the disfranchisement part of his Bill, and by one of the stereotype
debates upon the privileges of the Guards, which came to nothing.
And it seems that, among the Queen's possessions, is an island called
Jersey, situated in the Channel, very near France ; and as nobody has
ever given such a place any attention, all its laws, prisons, charities,
and the like, are in the awful mess that might be expected. Parliament
is to inquire into the subject.
Friday. Mr. Punch's suggestion to the Water-colours, that they
should not let the Oils have it all their own way—an objectionable
way of putting oil over the waters—has produced its effect; and so
has his other suggestion, that there should be a congress of the repre-
sentatives of Art, in reference to Burlington House. The Water-
colour Society has put in a strong and just claim for a portion of the
site; and Lord Derby has commanded the First Commissioner of
Works to summon an Art-Congress for the discussion of the whole
subject. Mr. Punch is not self-complacent, considering that he saves
the country about three times a-week, besides filling up the rest of his
Westminster entirely to the politicians, and for concentrating all the ™e country aeon* inree nines a-weeK uesiues lining up ine rest 01 ms
Law Courts upon an area to be obtained by making a clean sweep of j tim-e b? conferring the most inestimable boons upon it; but he feels^a
all the dirty, crowded, and pestdential district between Carey Street
and the Strand. " Set a thief to catch a thief," is a respected motto;
and the idea of setting the nuisance, Law, to clear away the nuisance,
Squalor, is a good idea. The proposal to take the money for the
purpose out of the Suitors' Fee Fund is not so preposterous as it
looks; and Lord Chelmsford's condemnation thereof to-night, in
bringing in a little Bill to bnild some little Courts for the little Chan-
cery Judges, was simply official.
Mr. Tite briefly expounded the Great Drainage Scheme for London
little proud that he has thus stirred up all parties to do justice. He
takes this opportunity of announcing, that he declines to sit for
his portrait, or to receive any other testimonial of gratitude from
anybody.
Whether the Derbyites exactly love Lord Canning, or not, is beside
the question. Her Majesty has commanded that his Lordship be at
once made a G. C. B.; and when he writes home that all is serene in
India, he is to have a step up the Peerage ladder, that is to say, he is
to come to Court as an Earl, which is the more appropriate, as he was
and those who are interested in the healthy condition of the Metro- born near Earl's Court Brompton. This came out in a brief Oude
polis may like to know that there is to be a sewer from Clapham, and ! debate, not otherwise interesting. - .. ,
another from Putney, to Deptford. The religious world is acquainted I ™ *he Commons, there was some fun. Mr. Roebuck affectmgly
with the first-mentioned place; and rowing-clubs, and other lovers of; appealed to Lord John Russell not to smash the Government,
good beer, know the second: but as nobody knows Deptford, it may because this might let m the Palmerston lot, and also agitate Europe,
be mentioned that this is a nasty place, on the right-hand side of the Jn™> amid the laughter of the House uprose the furious Cox, member
river, as you go down to eat whitebait, and is opposite to Mr. Scott ior the publlc-houses of Fmsbury He, too, assailed Lord John, and
Russell's vard, where the Great Eastern, alias the Leviathan, alias ' apprised him that he was not half statesman enough for such men as
the Great Ship, was built. At Deptford, the united contents of the
sewers are to be pumped up to a higher level, and taken to Erith, an
objectionable little watering-place, on the right-hand side, and here the
river is to become the sewer. Similar processes will bring the sewage
of the north bank from Hampstead, from Kilburn, and from some
other point, to the river Lea, whence it is to be taken to Barking, an
excessively dirty-looking hole, on the Southend railway, and thence
this sewage goes into the river. All is to be done in four years, and
the Bank has advanced the three millions necessary to do it. A
rate of threepence is to pay this money back in forty years. It is
very desirable that these arrangements should be understood; and
Mr. Punch begs that he may hear of no affectation of dislike of a
subject of so much importance.
The Bill for cheapening conveyancing proceeded, applauded by the
best legal authorities; and the House took the Navy Estimates,
Mr. Gilpin interpolating a small debate about a certain"execution of
a large number of revolted Sepoys, during the Indian war. General
Thompson emitted the most foolish speech which even this poor old
party ever uttered; and Lord Stanley said that the execution was
probably necessary, though the persons who had conducted it had
treated the subject with too much levity. In different hands than
those of a professed _ peace-monger, the topic might have created more
sensation: but fanatics spoil everything.
Tuesday. Sir John Trelawny, Church Rate Reformer, and Slaugh
Cox, and must bid higher for the support of the Great Liberal Party,
of which Cox is the acknowledged Cock. Into such a rage did the
M.P., or Member for Public-houses, work himself, that in order to
enforce his argument (as Burke, on revolution, flung down a dagger,
and Ricaroo, on finance, flung down a one-pound note), he actually
rounded a sentence by flattening the nose of a brother-member who sat
next him. " We will not be made a tool!" roared Cox; and down he
came, like a hammer, on the face of his unlucky neighbour. The
shouts of the House were deafening; and the senatorial Bruiser, thus
at once Box and Cox, drew more laughter than the capital farce of that
name ; Tom Duncombe was obliged to lead the minds of the members
away to some other subject, of not the least consequence. After a
discussion on this, Lord John Russell (who did not dare to trust
himself to look at Cox) stated that he knew what he was about, and
should certainly make his motion on the Monday. After that, Ministers
had nothing to do but to send word to their servants to finish cording
the boxes, only keeping out a few knives and forks and some little
things wanted up to the last moment of moving, and which could be
carried in the cab, or in the perambulator.
Some Indian discussion took place, and it was elicited that the
thanks of Parliament were to be given to Lord Clyde and his army;
but it was felt to be rather doubtful who would have to propose the
vote. The duty may devolve on a small man with a large hat, who says
obleege and se'nnight.
The extremely foolish, because useless, Sale of Poisons Bill passed
terer of the Government Bill, brought on his own for second reading, ! through Committee; and if any inteUigent chemist would just write
at a morning sitting, and on division, carried it by 242 to 16S. This
effort seemed to have exhausted the House, for scarcely anybody came
in the evening. There was a Count.
a plain letter to the Times, and therein say to the House what he says
to any intelligent customer on the subject, little more would be heard
of so silly a measure.