Punch (36.1859)

February 26, 1859.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI,

81

A SKETCH IN THE HOUSE OF C-MM-NS SM-K-NG-ROOM,

showing how distinguished senators wear out their lives in
the service os an ungrateful country !

"A REFORM BILL IS COMING, OH DEARS
OH DEAR!"

& (Erg from the Ccrtsrrbatirje ^artg.

A Reform Bill is coming, oh dear! oh dear!
A Reform Bill is coming, oh dear !

Spite our ha'ing and humming,

To quarters they 're chumming,
A Reform Bill is coming, oh dear ! oh dear!

John Bright is all bustle, oh dear! oh dear!
John Bright is all bustle, on dear!

Bright has braced up his muscle,

And Roebuck and Russell
Have stripped for the tussle, oh dear ! oh dear!

But how about Dizzy ? oh dear ! oh dear!
How about our hope, Dizzy ? oh dear !

Our hope and pride, Dizzy,

With a Bill too is busy,
Tinned Reformer now is he, oh dear ! oh dear !

British Bulwarks are shaken, oh dear! oh dear!
British Bulwarks are shaken, oh dear!

Now by Dizz we 're forsaken :

And our shoes we all quake in,
Lest we mayn't save our bacon, oh dear ! oh dear !

The country they'll ruin, oh dear! oh dear!
The country they '11 ruin, oh dear!

The country they '11 ruin,

Yet the storm they are brewing
N eedn't be our undoing, doiyjt fear ! don't fear!

If by numbers we 're beaten, oh dear ! oh dear !
If by numbers we 're beaten, oh dear !

If by numbers we 're beaten

The leek must be eaten,
Still its taste we may sweeten, 'tis clear! 'tis clear!

We must make some concession, I fear! I fear !
We must make some concession, I fear!

Still of place we 'ye possession,

And by a concession
We may tide through the Session, hear, hear ! hear, hear!

PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

Monday, February \Uh. Lord Malmesbury, questioned, explained
that we had given up, not the Right, but the Wrong of Search, and he
thought that his predecessors had claimed the latter too long. But
everybody seemed to agree that there ought to be some universally
adopted mode of verifying the nationality of vessels.

This being Valentine Day, Mr. Rich was naturally reminded of
Mr. Rowland Hill's new ordinance for the prepayment of letters.
He threatened a motion on the subject. The real state of the matter
is, that extreme celerity of delivery is now absolutely essential, and
Mr. Rowland Hill does not think that the hundreds of millions of
properly stamped letters should be retarded while the postmen are
squabbling with servants for twopences in the cases of the small per-
centage of letters posted, unstamped, by foolish, negligent, or dishonest
people.

St. Valentine was further honoured by the tremendous announce-
ment, on the part of Mr. Disraeli, that, on the last day of Eebruary
be should bring in the Derby Reform Bill. Lord Palmerston
pulled his hat on a little tighter, Lord John Russell fidgeted
menacingly, and Mr. John Bright clenched his fist. The Ministers
own to a sort of now-we-are-in-for-it feeling, like that of a young-
dramatist when the prompter has rung the bell for the curtain to rise
on the first night. No escape now.

In the Epping Hunt, Thomas Hood describes the landlord of the
inn as becoming exceedingly jolly at seeing so many customers, and
adds,—

" So certain congregations meet,
And Elevate the Host."

Mr. Griffith, member for Devizes, is by no means inclined to consider
that the object of elevation deserves the honour shown to it by British
soldiers in Malta, and he elicited a long explanation from Sir B.
Lytton that the saluting it meant nothing at all, except that the
English recognise and respect the religion of the country in their
possession.

Mr. Disraeli gave Scotland a new grievance. He said that
Government intended to bring in a Scotch Reform Bill, but he did not

know when. This is most insulting. Why was not the Scotch Bill
brought in first, and England dealt with when her betters had been
served ? Later in the week, Lord Derby took the opportunity of
inflicting another outrage upon the North. He refused to do any-
thing for Scotch Education, because the two factions in the Scottisli
Church were so rancorous that they would never agree upon an
educational measure. We only hope that Northumberland is well
garrisoned, as we are provoking Scotland fearfully, and may expect an
avenging invasion.

The Sale of Opium in China is now declared legal, under the new
treaty. Sir A. Alison's publishers are in the highest state of ecstacy,
and have already chartered nine large ships for Canton.

Lord Stanley brought in the Indian Budget, and the cat which he
let out of it was an Indian loan of £7,000,000.^ He delivered a long
and clever speech, and augured financial prosperity for India.

Tuesday. Lord Donoughmore stated that he could do no more (joke)
for the shipping interest. The ship-owners are dreadfully mean, they
require that all our coasts should be lighted up untd they are as bright
as Piccadilly, and then grudge paying. However, we think some-
thing might be done, and ships that sad in the day time only, should
be toll free.

The City of London consists of ninety-eight parishes, and Bumbledom
permitted the collectorship of nine of them to get into the hands of
rogues. The rogues bolt, and Bumbledom wishes to spread the loss
over all the parishes. There is no limit to impudence, but it is gene-
rally lewardedwith a kick; and in this case, thanks to Alderman
Copeland, a kick from the House of Commons sent the Bill into the
middle of next week—it was thrown out by 89 to 57.

Mr. Slaney is a very good, kind gentleman, and wrote a charming
little book on our little birds. But when he was going to rise in
Parliament to propose the making of ledges in the thoroughfares for
porters to rest their burdens upon, one of his own little buds should
have whispered Be minimis non curat lex. Mr. Walpole, who is
rather a big bird, had to say something of the kind.

Now cometh a curious little story. Mu. W. Francis Higgins, a
very nice young person, marrieth Miss Thestger. In due time his
wife's papa becomes Lord Chancellor Chelmsford, and Mr.