DOI Heft:
May 14, 1859
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16623#0199
May 14, 1859.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 191
TRIUMPHANT RE-ELECTION OF MR. PUNCH
as
MEMBER FOR EVERYWHERE.
THIS, the .most important of all the elections, took place on Wed-
-*• nesday last, at Mr. Punch's own residence, 85, Fleet Street. The
proceedings were strictly private, no person whomsoever being allowed
to be present except the honourable candidate himself.
Precisely at twelve o'clock Mr. Punch entered his reception room,
and shut the door. Falling in an easy but graceful attitude into his
arm chair, and lighting his matutinal cigar, the honourable gentleman
opened the_ proceedings of the day by remarking that the east wind
was becoming personally offensive. He then addressed himself as
follows :—
Sik. I have the honour to propose you as Member for Everywhere.
It is unnecessary for me to dilate upon the inconceivable services
which you have rendered to your Qwen and country. Suffice it to
say, though the terms are painfully inadequate to the occasion, that
you are the greatest public benefactor the world has ever known, and
that without you the nation would be utterly ruined, the Constitution
subverted, and Mr. Macaulay's New Zealander already sketching
the ruins of St. Paul's.
Mr. Punch then seconded himself in the following words :—
Sir. I beg to second the nomination, though the word second
ought not to be used in connection with yourself, who are nulli secundus.
You are one of those miracles of genius, wisdom, wit, kindness,
generosity, justice, benevolence, and irascibility, which appear about
once in a thousand years, or not so often. I wish that the English or
any other language enabled me to say enough of your merits.
No-other Candidate presuming to show himself, Mr. Punch declared
himself duly elected for Everywhere.
Mr. Punch returned thanks to himself in a brief speech, in which he
pledged himself to exercise over everything the same vigilance which
had previously marked his marvellous career, and to wield the same
unhesitating bludgeon which one moment smashed the crown on the
head of a tyrannic Emperor, and the next instant came whack ou the
sconce of an idiotic Alderman. As to binding himself to any particular
line of conduct, he would see himself blowed first, but he should
always, he hoped, be perfectly prepared to walk into anybody who
might question his behaviour.
Mr. Punch then moved and seconded a vote of thanks to himself,
for his impartial conduct in the chair, and having carried this unani-
mously, he made the usual elegant acknowledgment, and the proceedings
terminated.
Wfe may add in reference to the prospects of the Government and
Opposition, that this most important election leaves the relative numbers
of Parliament as follows :—
Members Elected.
654 greater or less Humbugs
Mr. Punch ....
H.
654
Leaving, of course, an utterly overwhelming balance against
Humbug.
A Costume that is Quite Killing!
The Princess Vollkonska has been nearly killed in the Bois de
Boulogne, at Paris, in consequence of an accident caused by the pre-
posterous size of her dress. So numerous and so fatal are many of
these accidents, that, when it is said a lady is " dressed to death," it
must mean that she wears Crinoline!
time and fashion.
A "Watch-spring Petticoat" is advertised. Eashion is advancing
—like the crab. We shall soon get back to clocked stockings—unless,
which is to be hoped, the watch-spring petticoat is to be the wind-up
of Crinoline.
None too Soon.
A Motion is, we hear, shortly to be made to the Court of Chancery,
for the application of the Winding-up Act to the Westminster Clock.
The application will be based on the fact that the credit of all the
parties to this deplorable concern is utterly gone, and that though their
checks have been abundant, they have all been hitherto endorsed " No
Effects."
the house adjourning.
The stone of the House of Commons is, it is said, fast decaying.
St. Stephens seems to befalling a martyr to the same fate as his name-
sake, in being barbarously stoned to death.
/
TRIUMPHANT RE-ELECTION OF MR. PUNCH
as
MEMBER FOR EVERYWHERE.
THIS, the .most important of all the elections, took place on Wed-
-*• nesday last, at Mr. Punch's own residence, 85, Fleet Street. The
proceedings were strictly private, no person whomsoever being allowed
to be present except the honourable candidate himself.
Precisely at twelve o'clock Mr. Punch entered his reception room,
and shut the door. Falling in an easy but graceful attitude into his
arm chair, and lighting his matutinal cigar, the honourable gentleman
opened the_ proceedings of the day by remarking that the east wind
was becoming personally offensive. He then addressed himself as
follows :—
Sik. I have the honour to propose you as Member for Everywhere.
It is unnecessary for me to dilate upon the inconceivable services
which you have rendered to your Qwen and country. Suffice it to
say, though the terms are painfully inadequate to the occasion, that
you are the greatest public benefactor the world has ever known, and
that without you the nation would be utterly ruined, the Constitution
subverted, and Mr. Macaulay's New Zealander already sketching
the ruins of St. Paul's.
Mr. Punch then seconded himself in the following words :—
Sir. I beg to second the nomination, though the word second
ought not to be used in connection with yourself, who are nulli secundus.
You are one of those miracles of genius, wisdom, wit, kindness,
generosity, justice, benevolence, and irascibility, which appear about
once in a thousand years, or not so often. I wish that the English or
any other language enabled me to say enough of your merits.
No-other Candidate presuming to show himself, Mr. Punch declared
himself duly elected for Everywhere.
Mr. Punch returned thanks to himself in a brief speech, in which he
pledged himself to exercise over everything the same vigilance which
had previously marked his marvellous career, and to wield the same
unhesitating bludgeon which one moment smashed the crown on the
head of a tyrannic Emperor, and the next instant came whack ou the
sconce of an idiotic Alderman. As to binding himself to any particular
line of conduct, he would see himself blowed first, but he should
always, he hoped, be perfectly prepared to walk into anybody who
might question his behaviour.
Mr. Punch then moved and seconded a vote of thanks to himself,
for his impartial conduct in the chair, and having carried this unani-
mously, he made the usual elegant acknowledgment, and the proceedings
terminated.
Wfe may add in reference to the prospects of the Government and
Opposition, that this most important election leaves the relative numbers
of Parliament as follows :—
Members Elected.
654 greater or less Humbugs
Mr. Punch ....
H.
654
Leaving, of course, an utterly overwhelming balance against
Humbug.
A Costume that is Quite Killing!
The Princess Vollkonska has been nearly killed in the Bois de
Boulogne, at Paris, in consequence of an accident caused by the pre-
posterous size of her dress. So numerous and so fatal are many of
these accidents, that, when it is said a lady is " dressed to death," it
must mean that she wears Crinoline!
time and fashion.
A "Watch-spring Petticoat" is advertised. Eashion is advancing
—like the crab. We shall soon get back to clocked stockings—unless,
which is to be hoped, the watch-spring petticoat is to be the wind-up
of Crinoline.
None too Soon.
A Motion is, we hear, shortly to be made to the Court of Chancery,
for the application of the Winding-up Act to the Westminster Clock.
The application will be based on the fact that the credit of all the
parties to this deplorable concern is utterly gone, and that though their
checks have been abundant, they have all been hitherto endorsed " No
Effects."
the house adjourning.
The stone of the House of Commons is, it is said, fast decaying.
St. Stephens seems to befalling a martyr to the same fate as his name-
sake, in being barbarously stoned to death.
/