DOI Heft:
January 15, 1859
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16623#0029
January 15, 1859.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 21
EXTRAORDINARY MEETING OF WHALES.
We have been informed by our iEsop, that a meeting
of Whales took place the other day off a large iceberg in
the Arctic regions to take into consideration the probability
of their speedy extinction in case of the much longer con-
tinuance of hoop and spring petticoats. The meeting was
rather thinly attended, in consequence of the number of
Cetacea which have been lately destroyed for the sake of the
Whalebone which they supply for the manufacture of Crino-
line, or some of its machinery. A great bottle-nosed
Whale stated that the price of whalebone had risen to full
four times the amount which it cost previously to the
outbreak of the Crinolinomania. According to a Physeter
macrocephalus, spermaceti had risen as high as whalebone
for the same reason, and there would very soon be an end
of ointment if the ladies went on causing the existing
consumption of Whales. Several Whales complained bit-
terly of the Empress of the French for setting the fashion
which is threatening to destroy them from off the bosom of
the ocean, and threw torrents of ridicule on the ladies of
England for the servility and sheepish or gooselike gre-
ganousness with which they imitate her. A Narwal wished
his horn was in the Crinoline of her Imperial Majesty,
with her Imperial Majesty in the Crinoline. He added,
that he derived some consolation for his bereavements and
bodily fear, from the fact, that if the hoop-fashion was
deadly to the Whales, it was also suicidal to the wearers;
and that it was better to be harpooned than burnt to death.
A suspicious looking craft here heaving in sight, the
Whales ceased spouting, and broke up then- assembly with
a sagacity which was very like a whale.
The Defenceless State of England.
Amongst the number of Scotchmen, who will be pro-
bably attracted to London from Scotland, to witness the
Burns festival at Sydenham, how many are likely, we are
curious to know, to take return tickets? The railways
should be compelled to take them back; or else the
Crystal Palace Directors ought to be indicted for not sup-
porting them, after having lured them into this country.
If not, all the Refuges that we at present have, or may
Swell Bagman. " Now, what's the smallest sum I can give you without being considered I expeditiously build, will be absurdly insufficient to meet the
mean ?" I dire emergency.
SCARCELY A DELICATE WAY OF
THE PEERS CONDEMNED BY THEMSELVES.
We doubt if Mr. Bright has said anything against the Peers that
could reflect upon them half as badly as their own actions. In truth
the Peers (many of them, at least,) are their own enemies. H we wanted
two formidable witnesses in favour of some of the choicest attributes
of their order, we should summon the Duke of Beaufort and Lord
Lindsay. The Duke should testify to the nature of the refined sports
of the aristocracy; the Lord should give evidence as to the average
range of their intellects. The Aunt Sally could be called as a witness
to give a character to the one; while no stronger affidavit in favour of
the intellectual attainments of the other could be wished for than
reading out openly in Court one of his printed letters. We wonder
whose noble turn it will be next. The Peers are so scandalously
decried, that we should like one of their calumniated order to make a
glorious exhibition of himself every week. Clanricarde might
generously rush forward to give simple-minded commoners an oppor
A BULL AND A PIG.
In its report of a case tried in the Sheriff's Court the other day, we
find this curious statement made by a contemporary :—
" Some questions then arose as to a disease to which the pig had been subject, and
it was elicited that slaughterers frequently killed pigs to save their lives."
Do they, reallv ? Well, very possibly in Ireland they* may; but
surely not in England; eh, Mr. Reporter? Pigstickers in Paddyland
may kill pigs "to save their lives;" but we can scarcely _ imagine
Englishmen would have the wit to do so. Indeed, were the pigs them-
selves allowed a squeak in the matter, we can conceive an Irish pig
might fancy it would save its life to have its throat coat, but we
question if an English one would run the risk of trying it. If, to
please the pigs, it were put to the grunt whether, to save their lives,
they would consent to being slaughtered, very likely in a mixed
assembly of pigs, those from the Green Isle might submit to the
REMARKABLE EXPERIENCE.
KcuciuiiMi lusn lurwaru iu Hive siniuit-minueu uuiimiuueib an uppur- ------. - . ^-r? ; ii_ .i x> m- i. n J +„ „„„„„i
tunitv of judging with their own impartial eyes what aristocratic experiment. But supposing tha.the Britishers were asked to squeak
purity was; and Lords Cardigan ana Lucan" could venture after-! their acquiescence there would be no need to caution them: JNow
wards into the public arena, and give interesting as well as convincing ! don't ad squeak at once ! for we have a strong idea that there would
examples of what a Lord, when put fairly to the intellectual test, is J be ^broken Sdence m the pig-market,
capable of doing. If at a loss for assistance, they might call in the I
talents of Lord Ingestrie, whose debut at Cremorne proved that he
was a Peer of the very first water; so much so, that we wonder the one
on the banks of the Thames, that leads to the Gardens, has never,
out of compliment, been called after him. With such a Macedonian : Our contemporary, the Standard, m a late leading article, had tat;
phalanx of ability, the exhibition would be, not only instructive, but j following suspicious-looking passage:—
" Our public journals, too, nave the tact not to exalt the acts of delinquents into
deeds of heroism, and so they fall to then- proper degrading level ; what this level
is, no one can conceive who has not passed some weeks practically in a gaol."
The Sea-Scoundrel's Sanctuary. , , , ,
We are, however, bound to say that the contest ol the above quota-
The honour of a vessel sailing under the American flag is more \ tion quite dispels the suspicion which the text may possibly excite,
sacred than that of Caesar's wife. She must not even be inspected. | The whole of the article, indeed, indicates such a preponderance of the
The Stars and Stripes cover a multitude of slave-traders and filibusters, higher sentiments as to show that, if the author ever was in gaol on
and it is better that any number of those rascals should escape than any charge, either he was innocent, or else has become a wonderful
that one honest Yankee merchantman should be examined. i example of the reformatory effects of prison discipline.
amusing.
EXTRAORDINARY MEETING OF WHALES.
We have been informed by our iEsop, that a meeting
of Whales took place the other day off a large iceberg in
the Arctic regions to take into consideration the probability
of their speedy extinction in case of the much longer con-
tinuance of hoop and spring petticoats. The meeting was
rather thinly attended, in consequence of the number of
Cetacea which have been lately destroyed for the sake of the
Whalebone which they supply for the manufacture of Crino-
line, or some of its machinery. A great bottle-nosed
Whale stated that the price of whalebone had risen to full
four times the amount which it cost previously to the
outbreak of the Crinolinomania. According to a Physeter
macrocephalus, spermaceti had risen as high as whalebone
for the same reason, and there would very soon be an end
of ointment if the ladies went on causing the existing
consumption of Whales. Several Whales complained bit-
terly of the Empress of the French for setting the fashion
which is threatening to destroy them from off the bosom of
the ocean, and threw torrents of ridicule on the ladies of
England for the servility and sheepish or gooselike gre-
ganousness with which they imitate her. A Narwal wished
his horn was in the Crinoline of her Imperial Majesty,
with her Imperial Majesty in the Crinoline. He added,
that he derived some consolation for his bereavements and
bodily fear, from the fact, that if the hoop-fashion was
deadly to the Whales, it was also suicidal to the wearers;
and that it was better to be harpooned than burnt to death.
A suspicious looking craft here heaving in sight, the
Whales ceased spouting, and broke up then- assembly with
a sagacity which was very like a whale.
The Defenceless State of England.
Amongst the number of Scotchmen, who will be pro-
bably attracted to London from Scotland, to witness the
Burns festival at Sydenham, how many are likely, we are
curious to know, to take return tickets? The railways
should be compelled to take them back; or else the
Crystal Palace Directors ought to be indicted for not sup-
porting them, after having lured them into this country.
If not, all the Refuges that we at present have, or may
Swell Bagman. " Now, what's the smallest sum I can give you without being considered I expeditiously build, will be absurdly insufficient to meet the
mean ?" I dire emergency.
SCARCELY A DELICATE WAY OF
THE PEERS CONDEMNED BY THEMSELVES.
We doubt if Mr. Bright has said anything against the Peers that
could reflect upon them half as badly as their own actions. In truth
the Peers (many of them, at least,) are their own enemies. H we wanted
two formidable witnesses in favour of some of the choicest attributes
of their order, we should summon the Duke of Beaufort and Lord
Lindsay. The Duke should testify to the nature of the refined sports
of the aristocracy; the Lord should give evidence as to the average
range of their intellects. The Aunt Sally could be called as a witness
to give a character to the one; while no stronger affidavit in favour of
the intellectual attainments of the other could be wished for than
reading out openly in Court one of his printed letters. We wonder
whose noble turn it will be next. The Peers are so scandalously
decried, that we should like one of their calumniated order to make a
glorious exhibition of himself every week. Clanricarde might
generously rush forward to give simple-minded commoners an oppor
A BULL AND A PIG.
In its report of a case tried in the Sheriff's Court the other day, we
find this curious statement made by a contemporary :—
" Some questions then arose as to a disease to which the pig had been subject, and
it was elicited that slaughterers frequently killed pigs to save their lives."
Do they, reallv ? Well, very possibly in Ireland they* may; but
surely not in England; eh, Mr. Reporter? Pigstickers in Paddyland
may kill pigs "to save their lives;" but we can scarcely _ imagine
Englishmen would have the wit to do so. Indeed, were the pigs them-
selves allowed a squeak in the matter, we can conceive an Irish pig
might fancy it would save its life to have its throat coat, but we
question if an English one would run the risk of trying it. If, to
please the pigs, it were put to the grunt whether, to save their lives,
they would consent to being slaughtered, very likely in a mixed
assembly of pigs, those from the Green Isle might submit to the
REMARKABLE EXPERIENCE.
KcuciuiiMi lusn lurwaru iu Hive siniuit-minueu uuiimiuueib an uppur- ------. - . ^-r? ; ii_ .i x> m- i. n J +„ „„„„„i
tunitv of judging with their own impartial eyes what aristocratic experiment. But supposing tha.the Britishers were asked to squeak
purity was; and Lords Cardigan ana Lucan" could venture after-! their acquiescence there would be no need to caution them: JNow
wards into the public arena, and give interesting as well as convincing ! don't ad squeak at once ! for we have a strong idea that there would
examples of what a Lord, when put fairly to the intellectual test, is J be ^broken Sdence m the pig-market,
capable of doing. If at a loss for assistance, they might call in the I
talents of Lord Ingestrie, whose debut at Cremorne proved that he
was a Peer of the very first water; so much so, that we wonder the one
on the banks of the Thames, that leads to the Gardens, has never,
out of compliment, been called after him. With such a Macedonian : Our contemporary, the Standard, m a late leading article, had tat;
phalanx of ability, the exhibition would be, not only instructive, but j following suspicious-looking passage:—
" Our public journals, too, nave the tact not to exalt the acts of delinquents into
deeds of heroism, and so they fall to then- proper degrading level ; what this level
is, no one can conceive who has not passed some weeks practically in a gaol."
The Sea-Scoundrel's Sanctuary. , , , ,
We are, however, bound to say that the contest ol the above quota-
The honour of a vessel sailing under the American flag is more \ tion quite dispels the suspicion which the text may possibly excite,
sacred than that of Caesar's wife. She must not even be inspected. | The whole of the article, indeed, indicates such a preponderance of the
The Stars and Stripes cover a multitude of slave-traders and filibusters, higher sentiments as to show that, if the author ever was in gaol on
and it is better that any number of those rascals should escape than any charge, either he was innocent, or else has become a wonderful
that one honest Yankee merchantman should be examined. i example of the reformatory effects of prison discipline.
amusing.