Punch: Punch (36.1859)

52

PUNCH, Oil THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[February 5, 18-59.

KINGS IN ELYSIUM

Charles the First. James the First. Charles the Second.

Charles II. {comes tip laughing, with a newspaper Charon has just
given him). Oddsfish, Majesties, the world's at an end and doomsday's
come.

James I. Deil of my saul, laddie, whisht! Is that the way to talk,
with the ghaists o' a dozen Bishops Hitting about ye ? Whisht for
shame!

Charles I. Speak decorously, Charles, when within the hearing of
those over whom you would maintain authority.

Charles II. Pluto take the Bishops and their ghosts, dad and grand-
dad, for what I care. When I tell you the news you'll not be in any
burning hurry to spare the feelings of the apostolic succession.

James I. Eh, news, news, laddie. Tell us, tell your old grandad,
quick. I love a bit of gossip with all my heart. What is it, black
boy?

Charles II. Have I my royal father's permission to read something
from a newspaper ?

Charles I. I hate newspapers. The less that mean men are helped
to discuss the deeds of their superiors, set over them by Providence,
the better.

Charles II. (slyly). That I am inclined to believe, Majesty. I am
sure it was so in my case. But this news concerns us all three.

James I. Treea juuncta in ootio, as we would say in Scotland, paace
my Lord of Oxford!

Charles II. Our beloved descendant, Victoria, Queen of England,
taking the advice of her Lords Spiritual—mark that, dad—and Tem-
poral, and of lier Commons !—

Charles I. (haughtily). Advice from the Commons !

Charles II. Has been pleased to command her clergy—

Charles I. (shocked). Command her clergy !

Charles II. To omit, for the future, the Prayer Book Service in
which England has been accustomed to commemorate, grandad, that
■wonderful discovery of gunpowder, which you found out so miracu-
lously when somebody had told you of it—

James I. Deil tak' me—Guid save us that I suld say sae. Arc ye no
blate ?

Charles II. Here is the Queen's Proclamation.

James I. Leave off thanking Heaven that I, the Lord's Anointed,
having my nose miraculously sharpened for the salvation of my
kingdoms—

Charles II (aside). A Scotch nose, so it naturally went to the sulphur
in the powder.

Charles I. (smiling). Hush, Charles—we may laugh, but not before
fools.

James I. That I did, as one inspired, incontinently sniff, snuff and smell
out that hellish plot, that infernal powder that might have traitorously
exploded and sent me flying across the sky—

Charles II. Like that'bright accidental star, Queen Elizabeth.

James I. Occidental, ye fule, and do not throw your jests at a humble
and respectful dedication of the bible to its Patron, myself. And this
miracle, as I may say, that was worked by myself is to be clean for-
gotten.

Charles II. Clean, Majesty So clean that the dirty little boys in
the street are to be whipped' if in future they dare to sing, " Remember,
remember, the fifth of November."

James I. Daft, daft, just daft. And what more, laddie, what more ?

Charles II. The next is a delicate subject in our family, Majesties,
but I suppose you will have strength to hear of it. My royal father
may possibly recollect walking out of a certain window, one January
monnng.

Charles I. (laughing). The vile traitors! The blessed martyr! But
I have been thinking over that matter a good deal, and on the whole,
T do not bear much malice. I would certainly have hanged the other

party, if I had won—hanged them alive, Charles, I mean, not have
desecrated corpses—

Charles II. My dear father, do you make it my fault that they were
dead before I could get at 'em ? But since you are so forgiving, you
will be ready to hear that the splendid service which my Bishops
composed in commemoration of that national sin and crime is to be
dropped.

Charles I. One might have expected it. John Milton told me the
other day that the sin had been sufficiently punished in the succession
of yourself and James.

Charles II. Oh, if your Majesty has made it up with that old traitor,
and what is worse, bore, I shall crave to talk with you as little as may
be for the future, or my wit may suffer. But as your Majesty is not
more incensed at your late people being told not to go into sackcloth
and ashes for the day in January, you will not have much wrath when
Iteilyouthat the crowning audacity, ingratitude, and disrespect, is
the omission of the service for my happy Restoration.

James I. Weel, that's just logical. Gin there's to be no sorrow for
losing the father, why should there be joy for gaining the son.

Charles II. Oddstish, grandad, you never said such a sensible thing
in your life. I suspect you too have been stooping to talk to ghosts
with brains.

Charles I. (aside). My father was a fool, and my son was a scoundrel.
I was neither, and got the hardest measure. But that profane service
was worse usage of me, to my mind, than the window at Whitehall.
I shall now walk about more comfortably. I could wish, though, that
the Commons had not been asked their opinion.

Charles II. Your Majesty is thoughtfid. I could wish you would
not go about with that leaden Jack Milton.

Charles I. Talk of what you understand, Charles.

Charles II. I might scandalise your Majesty. I would prefer talking
to what I understand. Oddstish, and there it is. Here, Nelly,
Nelly ! [Exit after a saucy-looking ghost.

Charles I. I shall go and tell this news to Oliver. We shall then
be quits for the gallows at Tyburn, though he has forgiven that.

[Exit.

James I. My certie! The only thing 1 've learned since I came to—
deil forgive me, I mean to Elysium, is to smoke tobacco. May be I,
like Solomon, knew everything else in the world. Any way, I'll just
gae and hae a pipe full wi' Wat Raleigh, and hear his lies about
America. [Exit.

LEGAL LUNATIC LOGIC.

Subjoined is an extract from The law Concerning Idiots, Lunatics,
and Persons of Unsound Mind, by Charles Palmer Phillips: After
having given legal definitions of the terms "idiot, "lunatic," and
"person of unsound mind," the author observes :—

" It must be remembered, however, that in legal phraseology, a person whose
moral feelings are perverted is not by reason of such perversion a person of unsound
mind. Further, that if the mind is unsound on oue subject, it is not sound on any
subject, the mind being indivisible. Kon compos mentis is the legal generic term
which includes the three several classes just mentioned."

According to the above statement, the perversion of a person's
moral feelings does not imply their unsoundness,—t hat is to say, if the
moral feelings pertain to the mind; for a person whose moral feelings
are perverted is not therefore a person of unsound mind. Thus, moral
feelings may be at the same time perverted and sound; or else it
follows that'the moral feelings are distinct from the mind; for if per-
verted moral feelings are likewise unsound moral feelings, and the
moral feelings are not distinguishable from the mind, then perverted
moral feelings imply unsoundness of mind, which in legal phraseology
they don't. Furthermore, supposing that if the mind is unsound on
any one subject, it is not sound on any subject, the mind being indi-
visible, and supposing the moral feelings and the mind to be insepar-
able, and supposing the moral feelings to relate to some subjects, and
the perversion of the moral feelings to imply their unsoundness on
those subjects, then again we shall be obliged to come to the dlegal
conclusion, that the person whose moral feelings are perverted is a per-
son whose mind is unsound. So, then, according to law, perverted
moral feelings may be sound, or the moral feelings are not of a mental
nature, or they relate to no subjects. On the subject of mental nosology,
the legal mind appears to be non compos mentis.

The Monroe Motto.

The Prince Regent op Prussia made a joke the other day, which
turned on the Royal motto of Swum Cuique. America might improve
on the motto of Prussia. The legend of a Republic whose principles
are Annexation, Eihbnstering, and Repudiation, should be Ahenum
Cuique.

The Spirit of the Law— Ruin, until all is Blue.