Punch: Punch (36.1859)

100 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [March 5, 1859.

OUR FUTURE STAFF.

A rather Heavy Dragoon (who has some idea of going in for a Staff Examination, rides over to the College to make inquiries). " Well, how
are you getting on ? What sort of things do they give you to do r!"

Gifted Member of Staff College. " Oh, pretty well—been up Three Nights reading for last Examination. Knocked off dead and living
languages, campaigns, trigonometry, analytical geometry, perspective, differential and integral calculus, rectification, quadrature and cubuture of
curves, theory of equation, contact and osculation, statics, dynamics, hydrostatics, castrametation (the Cavalry finds himself rising in his stirrups)^,
equilibrium of arches, method of tangents, vanishing fractions, pneum—" ***** [Plunger rides furiously back to Camp:

CLO' EOR THE POOR CLERGY.

(no fiction.)

It is a positive fact that there exists an actual bond fide Clerical
Fund and Poor Clergy Relief Society at 345, Strand, London, W.C.
It is really true that there is such a person as the Rev. W. G. Jervis,
Secretary to that Society, not a myth, but a live and kicking divine—
kicking in vain against the doors of episcopal palaces, deaneries, and
other fat parsonage-houses. Furthermore, it is literally the case, and
no mistake', and no joke, that this Society will thankfully receive Warm
Clothing, Blankets, and Sheeting for the use of the destitute Clergy.
_ In consequence of the appearance, in the pages of Mr. Punch, some
time back, of a notice of this charitable association, a great increase
has taken place in the number of its reverend applicants for relief—
who understood Mr. Punch. They were quite aware how possible it
was that the richest church in the world should contain starving
clergymen. But no corresponding increase has taken place in the
number of benefactors to the Society: the charitable public naturally
bnr erroneously thinking the idea that the opulent Church of England
can allow such a Society to exist ridiculous. Let. the benevolently
disposed, then, clearly understand that if they will visit 315, Strand,

they will find the Society there, and be satisfied of the authenticity c-f
the* Rev. W. G. Jekvis.

It is clear that one half of the clerical world cannot know how the-
other half lives, or else they would not allow brethren of the cloth to
go about famished, threadbare, outat-elbows, and glad to get a suit of
cast-off clothes, in which, however, to the judicious eye, the ragged;
reverend gentlemen will look infinitely less shabby than the wealthy,
but close-fisted wearers of canonical sable and fine linen.

A Tremendous Crammer.

The Emperor oe the French is hugging secretly to himself some
wonderful gun which, we are told, is to be the death of every other
gun yet borne into the battle-field. We look upon this as a bit ot
Imperial gasconade, which will be no sooner put to the test than it-
will be blown to atoms. Or, to cast a new word for the occasion, shall i
Ave name this new invention, the Emperor's Gascannomde ?

A Sterling Suggestion.—All the persons employed in the Mint'
should be Jews, properly, for they seem to maice money ;asterthan<
anybody else.