DOI issue:
March 12, 1859
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16623#0116
us PUNCH, Oil THE LONDON CHARIVARI. |Mauck 12, 1855.
OUR TREASURES IN THE DEEP.
Borrowed from Mrs. Hemans, and Dedicated to Sm John Pakin'oiok.
What hidest thou in thy treasure-caves, by Swells'
Official blunders, thou mysterious Main?
Huge cannon-balls, and lots of monster-shells,
Old rusty things all fired away in vain.
■—Keep, keep thy rubbish, melancholy Sea!
We don't ask that from thee.
But more, the Depths have more!—What sum untold
Par down, and sunken in their stillness, lies !
Thou hast the heaps of notes, the loads of gold,
Wrung from the millions' various industries.
—Sweep o'er thy spoils, thou tax-devouring main !
We shan't see them again!
Still more, the Depths have more !—Thy waves have
rolled
Above the frigates of years just gone by!
Sand, in effect, has choked up every hoid,
Sea-weed o'ergrown their decks fragmentary !
■—Dash o'er them, ocean, with unfeeling play :
Our riches thus decay !
Yet more ! the Billows and the Depths have more !
Gunboats and brigs are gathered to thy breast!
There sleep the Seventy-two and Seventy-four,
All Cherbourg's thunders will not break their rest.
—Keep thy old rotten hulks, thou stormy grave !
Hand back the price we gave.
Give back the lost, the money, thou on whom
Our place to keep we 've fought and paid so long;
The Estimates went up 'mid looks of gloom,
And the vain grumbling woke the comic song !
—Hold fast thy buried tubs, thy pans o'erthrown :
Our failures are thine own !
To thee the iron steamer hath gone down,
Dark flow thy tides o'er paddle-wheeler's head,
O'er Graham's old junks, which Wood's last luggers
Fred, (affectionately taking the arm of Ms friend Harry—as he thinks). "Oh! do crown1
look at these > Beautiful Diamonds. How well they would become tour Yet hear thou John Brll's voice—Restore the bread
Sweet Sister ! " tn countless millions which we've cast on thee !
Coal-Heaver. " Come, now ! Walker ! " | Restore our cash, thou Sea !
NEW BONDHOLDERS FOR SPAIN.
" Old Hoss,
" I expect you are a tarnation sight too 'cute to be in pos-
session of any Spanish bonds. But perhaps among your acquaintance
you may have got a few softhorns owning some of them precious
securities. Well; now I'11 give you a bit of good news to tell them
there unhappy 'coons, for the comfortin of 'em.
" Fust you must know that our illustrious General Cass, in a
splendoriferous letter that he wrote to General Lamar, laid down
this here just and necessary doctrine consarnin our relations with other
powers. He declared it is the duty of the Government of the United
States to enforce the obligations of foreign Governments to our own
citizens.
" ]S"ow then, just you see here the program for acquiring the Island
of Cuba, which has just been published in a paper to Washington :—
" A Cuban now in this city designs to make that principle the life of his specu-
lation ; and it only remains to establish the other doctrine, that foreign claims may
be Americanised by passing into American hands, and when thus Americanised,
come under the operation of the rale laid down by Mr. Cass, and substantially
re-affirmed by the President a little later. To achieve this point is the first thing to
be done. Assurance once given that the United States will recognise this new
species of sudden naturalisation, our speculator in the Cuban fancy designs the
formation of an American company to go into European markets and buvup a large
amount—a hundred million or more-of Spanish Bonds, the best of which sell at
less than fifty cents on the dollar, while the others, if I mistake not, can be had for
iess than twenty-five per cent. When this is accomplished, the United States are
to assert the Cass-Lamar doctrine, and sav to Spain, ' Pay these obligations to our
citizens dollar for dollar, or we take Cuba and pay them for you.' "
" There now, if that air ain't as smart a plan for doin a stroke of
business as ever was chalked out by; an enlightened citizen, I'm a
nigger. Sitch a lovely mixtur of patriotism and philanthropy did you
ever hear of afore ? 1, never. Fust look at the philanthropy on it-
repayment m part of the poor unfortunate ruined critturs that lent
their money to Spam, lias lost it principal and interest, and despairs of
ever sightin a cent on it agin. And mind, the sufferers is mostlv
Britishers, so 'tis a kinder showin eharitv towards strangers—them
defenceless victims of Spanish injustice, whose own Government is too
weak for to obtain 'em redress. Besides all this here benevolence to
the Britishers, jest think what a considerable quantity of the milk of
human kindness gushes out in the project of liberatin the Cuban popu-
lation from the gallin yoke of the Spanish monarchy. Next, cock
your eye at the patriotism of the notion—annexation of that fertile,
productive, and important Island of Cuba to the great and glorious
liepublic of the United States. Last, look at the pure and spotless
justice of the whole of the speculation, purchase of the territory from
Spain with her own bonds, makin of'em as good as her own money,
redeemin of 'em, as I may say, from bein bonds of iniquity, and visitin
of her at the same time with a righteous retribution; by that means
makin of her a caution to national sinners.
" Expectin you '11 keep on screamin for a long time with enthusiastic
admiration of this here last new speciinen of American design, intelli-
gence, and 'cuteness of moral perception, I conclude,
Yours, under a sense of responsibility,
" Amos B. Slope."
" P.S. How about Michigan, Mississippi, Florida, and Arkansas
repudiatin states ?—perhaps you '11 ask. How about part repudiatin
Illinois and Indiana, and Michigan, that pays interest on the part of
her debt not repudiated, and whose Governor always cracks her up by
the official statement respectin her debt that the interest ' has been
paid with usual regularity ?' Well; buy up all their indebtedness too,
and if they won't pay you, distrain—if you can."
A Prophetic Shot at Long-range.
An insane Shakspearian student, who finds everything prophesied in
his favourite author, declares that the Swan of Avon clearly fore-
shadowed Sir W. Armstrong's elevation to Knighthood, in the lines
" It is the sport to see the Enginoer
Hoist with his own petard-"
OUR TREASURES IN THE DEEP.
Borrowed from Mrs. Hemans, and Dedicated to Sm John Pakin'oiok.
What hidest thou in thy treasure-caves, by Swells'
Official blunders, thou mysterious Main?
Huge cannon-balls, and lots of monster-shells,
Old rusty things all fired away in vain.
■—Keep, keep thy rubbish, melancholy Sea!
We don't ask that from thee.
But more, the Depths have more!—What sum untold
Par down, and sunken in their stillness, lies !
Thou hast the heaps of notes, the loads of gold,
Wrung from the millions' various industries.
—Sweep o'er thy spoils, thou tax-devouring main !
We shan't see them again!
Still more, the Depths have more !—Thy waves have
rolled
Above the frigates of years just gone by!
Sand, in effect, has choked up every hoid,
Sea-weed o'ergrown their decks fragmentary !
■—Dash o'er them, ocean, with unfeeling play :
Our riches thus decay !
Yet more ! the Billows and the Depths have more !
Gunboats and brigs are gathered to thy breast!
There sleep the Seventy-two and Seventy-four,
All Cherbourg's thunders will not break their rest.
—Keep thy old rotten hulks, thou stormy grave !
Hand back the price we gave.
Give back the lost, the money, thou on whom
Our place to keep we 've fought and paid so long;
The Estimates went up 'mid looks of gloom,
And the vain grumbling woke the comic song !
—Hold fast thy buried tubs, thy pans o'erthrown :
Our failures are thine own !
To thee the iron steamer hath gone down,
Dark flow thy tides o'er paddle-wheeler's head,
O'er Graham's old junks, which Wood's last luggers
Fred, (affectionately taking the arm of Ms friend Harry—as he thinks). "Oh! do crown1
look at these > Beautiful Diamonds. How well they would become tour Yet hear thou John Brll's voice—Restore the bread
Sweet Sister ! " tn countless millions which we've cast on thee !
Coal-Heaver. " Come, now ! Walker ! " | Restore our cash, thou Sea !
NEW BONDHOLDERS FOR SPAIN.
" Old Hoss,
" I expect you are a tarnation sight too 'cute to be in pos-
session of any Spanish bonds. But perhaps among your acquaintance
you may have got a few softhorns owning some of them precious
securities. Well; now I'11 give you a bit of good news to tell them
there unhappy 'coons, for the comfortin of 'em.
" Fust you must know that our illustrious General Cass, in a
splendoriferous letter that he wrote to General Lamar, laid down
this here just and necessary doctrine consarnin our relations with other
powers. He declared it is the duty of the Government of the United
States to enforce the obligations of foreign Governments to our own
citizens.
" ]S"ow then, just you see here the program for acquiring the Island
of Cuba, which has just been published in a paper to Washington :—
" A Cuban now in this city designs to make that principle the life of his specu-
lation ; and it only remains to establish the other doctrine, that foreign claims may
be Americanised by passing into American hands, and when thus Americanised,
come under the operation of the rale laid down by Mr. Cass, and substantially
re-affirmed by the President a little later. To achieve this point is the first thing to
be done. Assurance once given that the United States will recognise this new
species of sudden naturalisation, our speculator in the Cuban fancy designs the
formation of an American company to go into European markets and buvup a large
amount—a hundred million or more-of Spanish Bonds, the best of which sell at
less than fifty cents on the dollar, while the others, if I mistake not, can be had for
iess than twenty-five per cent. When this is accomplished, the United States are
to assert the Cass-Lamar doctrine, and sav to Spain, ' Pay these obligations to our
citizens dollar for dollar, or we take Cuba and pay them for you.' "
" There now, if that air ain't as smart a plan for doin a stroke of
business as ever was chalked out by; an enlightened citizen, I'm a
nigger. Sitch a lovely mixtur of patriotism and philanthropy did you
ever hear of afore ? 1, never. Fust look at the philanthropy on it-
repayment m part of the poor unfortunate ruined critturs that lent
their money to Spam, lias lost it principal and interest, and despairs of
ever sightin a cent on it agin. And mind, the sufferers is mostlv
Britishers, so 'tis a kinder showin eharitv towards strangers—them
defenceless victims of Spanish injustice, whose own Government is too
weak for to obtain 'em redress. Besides all this here benevolence to
the Britishers, jest think what a considerable quantity of the milk of
human kindness gushes out in the project of liberatin the Cuban popu-
lation from the gallin yoke of the Spanish monarchy. Next, cock
your eye at the patriotism of the notion—annexation of that fertile,
productive, and important Island of Cuba to the great and glorious
liepublic of the United States. Last, look at the pure and spotless
justice of the whole of the speculation, purchase of the territory from
Spain with her own bonds, makin of'em as good as her own money,
redeemin of 'em, as I may say, from bein bonds of iniquity, and visitin
of her at the same time with a righteous retribution; by that means
makin of her a caution to national sinners.
" Expectin you '11 keep on screamin for a long time with enthusiastic
admiration of this here last new speciinen of American design, intelli-
gence, and 'cuteness of moral perception, I conclude,
Yours, under a sense of responsibility,
" Amos B. Slope."
" P.S. How about Michigan, Mississippi, Florida, and Arkansas
repudiatin states ?—perhaps you '11 ask. How about part repudiatin
Illinois and Indiana, and Michigan, that pays interest on the part of
her debt not repudiated, and whose Governor always cracks her up by
the official statement respectin her debt that the interest ' has been
paid with usual regularity ?' Well; buy up all their indebtedness too,
and if they won't pay you, distrain—if you can."
A Prophetic Shot at Long-range.
An insane Shakspearian student, who finds everything prophesied in
his favourite author, declares that the Swan of Avon clearly fore-
shadowed Sir W. Armstrong's elevation to Knighthood, in the lines
" It is the sport to see the Enginoer
Hoist with his own petard-"