DOI issue:
April 9, 1859
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16623#0151
April 9, 1859.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
PETS FOR PETTICOATS.
ix your attention, if you
please, ladies, on the
following advertise-
ment, which for your
especial benefit we take
from last week's Times •
DOGS AND CURI-
OSITIES. Mr. Growler
lias for Sale One of the hand-
somest Pug Dogs in Crea-
tion, with a self - coloured
face (supposed to be the only
one in England), 12 months
old, direct from Holland;
also one of the most perfect
little White Pet Female Dogs
ever seen, with a most
beautiful long curly coat,
equal to floss silk, two years'
old, direct from Spain. This
amiable clean little animal
is fit for Buckingham Pa-
lace. Also a remarkably
handsome Female Spanish
Goat, colour a beautiful
black, with tan pointe : she
has a splendid long flowing-
coat, age 21 months. Also a
magnificent glass case of su-
perb Foreign Stuffed Birds,
plumage and execution of
exquisite beauty. Apply at
Growler's breeding ken-
nels, Cateaton Street,
Houndsditch.
As we never insert tradesmen's advertisements without charge, we have changed
the name and residence of the fortunate possessor of these preciousest of pets:
but with the gallantry which always has distinguished us, we will make known
their whereabouts to any young and single lady, who will, in return for this, present
us with her photograph, and permit us to compare it, if we wish it, with herself.
We make this generous proposal not without some fear of the crowds who will
embrace it. For only think, ladies, what darling little ducks of dogs are here
for you. What would you not give to know where you could purchase them r
May be you are pretty, Miss even in a photograph; but you ought to come down
handsomely for knowledge of the handsomest of pug dogs in creation, and one
blessed with the attraction of " a self-coloured face." Wherein this latter charm
consists we are not wise enough to know; and the supposition that it is " the only
one in England" is an avowal which no evidence of ours can contradict. That
ladies have been seen with "self-coloured" faces is an assertion of their enemies
which we own to having heard; but we were not aware before that any creature
in creation, least of all a pug dog, bore in this respect resemblance to them.
As, in common with all wise people, Her Majesty reads Punch, the " perfect
little pet," which is "fit for Buckingham Palace," may meet with its deserts, and
through our mention be transferred there. If this should be the case, we trust,
that, for the honour of caninity in general, it will prove as " clean " and " amiable "
as its possessor states it is.
A REFUGEE EROM ROME.
The Siecle, perceiving that the Pope and Popery are at the bottom of the
Italian difficulty, suggests the removal of the papal see to Jerusalem; but adds—
"It, however, matters little where the Pope resides. Wherever he may dwell, it will only depend
on himself to conquer the admiration, sympathy, and respect of the world."
If it is expedient that the Pope should go to Jerusalem, it would perhaps be
still better that he should go to Jericho. But Prus is personally a very good
sort of man; and really it would be a shame to transport him. Jerusalem is a less
eligible place of abode than Hounsditch itself: and the Holy Land is not at
present a proper place for his Holiness. If he should be lightened of the cares of
temporal sovereignty, the asylum for him is that which is sought by all Continental
ex-potentates. Old England, in short, is the only refuge for the Pope himself. So
long as he contented himself with minding his own business, blessing cinders
and adding articles to his religion, nobody would molest him any more than the
boys molest Wiseman, now that the Cardinal is quiet, and talks no longer about
governing counties. He would be free to do anything in this island that St. Peter
himself would have done or wished to do, and even if, in addition, he desired to
be chaired like Guy Eawkes, his wishes could be gratified on the premises of the
Duke oe Norfolk, or the park or grounds of some other Roman Catholic noble-
man or gentleman. None of his spiritual functions would be interfered with in
the least; and he might have his feet kissed as much as lie liked by Mr. Bowyer
and the rest of the faithful. He would never hear a whisper of No Popery ! "
wliilst he left the British Church alone; on the contrary, m taking his drive in
Regent Street or the Park, he would most likely be cheered by the British Public.
He would at least be treated with the same respect as that which is paid to
every dissenting clergyman of distinction, and his spiritual authority over his own
denomination would perhaps be more absolute than it is in any other country in
'ne worlf)
THE PAGODA TREE.
" The Indian 5 per cent, loan at 15^ discount; a perennial deficit:
and no money to be got in India."—Summary of the First QovtnMn-
General's Budget.
The Land of Lid! the wondrous land—
The land of wealth from times of old:
Where pearls lay basking on the sand,
And golden waves Pactolus rolled;
Where in Golconda's darkling mines,
The diamond's buried sun-light shines.
India— a Queen of grace inert,
All golden-scarfed and jewel-crowned;
Her waist, with gem like shawls engirt,
Her wrists and ancles silver-bound—
How rich and rare a prize was she,
Beneath the full Pagoda Tree!
Those long and lustrous eyes alone,
Those odorous streams of silken hah,
That waist which mocked the tiny zone.
Those hands and feet so small and fair,
All these were charms to tempt and please,
But wooers sought her not for these.
None came to woo—all came to win;
The stalwart Rajpoot calm and proud,
The polished Greek with whiter skin,
The flat-faced Mongol's roving crowd,
The Moslem Arab, swart and spare,
The daring Briton—all were there.
Upon the maid by turns they fell,
Each rent his share of gauds away;
But as he turned his gains to tell,
Another came to wrest the prey ;
And she sat by and watched the strife—
The robber's prize, the victor's wife.
Wife of a bed still wet with tears :
Cursed or caressed, the slave of scorn;
The gold wrenched from her bleeding ears ;
Erom her bruised wrists the bangles torn:
Her gems and gem-like shawls a prize,
Eor grasping hands and hungry eyes.
What if poor India groaned and gasped
Beneath each ruffian plund'rer's knee ?
Enough for him that he had grasped,
His bough of the Pagoda Tree,
And shook and shook its golden shower—
Poor India's fair and fatal dower.
The Briton too has played his part
Of plund'rer, 'mong the Pagan horde,
As keen of hand, as hard of heart,
As proud and pitiless a Lord ;
Hath tum'd from India's prayer and plea,
To grasp at the Pagoda Tree.
None shook so long; none shook so well;
No stronger hand e'er grasped its bough;
But less and less the fruit that fell,
Though flushed the shaker's knitted brow—
His sweat flows fast, his gripe is grim;
But the tree yields no more for him !
Enough—too much—of work like this :
Work ill-repaid as ill-begun;
'Tis time to right what is amiss;
Time India's wrong should be undone:
Time to admit, if hers the soil,
'Tis ours to save, as well as spoil.
Ours as we boast a Christian creed,
Ours as a righteous law we own,
To trample down usurping Greed,
And set up Justice on its throne;
The poor Pagoda Tree to spare,
Or in its crop let India share.
To act the truth we speak—that fruit
Comes not by shaking of the tree,
But digging deep about its root,
Manuring wisely, pruning free ;
So shall poor India's woeful dower,
To her be joy, to us be power;
So full of fruitage we shall see,
For aye, the broad Pagoda Tree!
PETS FOR PETTICOATS.
ix your attention, if you
please, ladies, on the
following advertise-
ment, which for your
especial benefit we take
from last week's Times •
DOGS AND CURI-
OSITIES. Mr. Growler
lias for Sale One of the hand-
somest Pug Dogs in Crea-
tion, with a self - coloured
face (supposed to be the only
one in England), 12 months
old, direct from Holland;
also one of the most perfect
little White Pet Female Dogs
ever seen, with a most
beautiful long curly coat,
equal to floss silk, two years'
old, direct from Spain. This
amiable clean little animal
is fit for Buckingham Pa-
lace. Also a remarkably
handsome Female Spanish
Goat, colour a beautiful
black, with tan pointe : she
has a splendid long flowing-
coat, age 21 months. Also a
magnificent glass case of su-
perb Foreign Stuffed Birds,
plumage and execution of
exquisite beauty. Apply at
Growler's breeding ken-
nels, Cateaton Street,
Houndsditch.
As we never insert tradesmen's advertisements without charge, we have changed
the name and residence of the fortunate possessor of these preciousest of pets:
but with the gallantry which always has distinguished us, we will make known
their whereabouts to any young and single lady, who will, in return for this, present
us with her photograph, and permit us to compare it, if we wish it, with herself.
We make this generous proposal not without some fear of the crowds who will
embrace it. For only think, ladies, what darling little ducks of dogs are here
for you. What would you not give to know where you could purchase them r
May be you are pretty, Miss even in a photograph; but you ought to come down
handsomely for knowledge of the handsomest of pug dogs in creation, and one
blessed with the attraction of " a self-coloured face." Wherein this latter charm
consists we are not wise enough to know; and the supposition that it is " the only
one in England" is an avowal which no evidence of ours can contradict. That
ladies have been seen with "self-coloured" faces is an assertion of their enemies
which we own to having heard; but we were not aware before that any creature
in creation, least of all a pug dog, bore in this respect resemblance to them.
As, in common with all wise people, Her Majesty reads Punch, the " perfect
little pet," which is "fit for Buckingham Palace," may meet with its deserts, and
through our mention be transferred there. If this should be the case, we trust,
that, for the honour of caninity in general, it will prove as " clean " and " amiable "
as its possessor states it is.
A REFUGEE EROM ROME.
The Siecle, perceiving that the Pope and Popery are at the bottom of the
Italian difficulty, suggests the removal of the papal see to Jerusalem; but adds—
"It, however, matters little where the Pope resides. Wherever he may dwell, it will only depend
on himself to conquer the admiration, sympathy, and respect of the world."
If it is expedient that the Pope should go to Jerusalem, it would perhaps be
still better that he should go to Jericho. But Prus is personally a very good
sort of man; and really it would be a shame to transport him. Jerusalem is a less
eligible place of abode than Hounsditch itself: and the Holy Land is not at
present a proper place for his Holiness. If he should be lightened of the cares of
temporal sovereignty, the asylum for him is that which is sought by all Continental
ex-potentates. Old England, in short, is the only refuge for the Pope himself. So
long as he contented himself with minding his own business, blessing cinders
and adding articles to his religion, nobody would molest him any more than the
boys molest Wiseman, now that the Cardinal is quiet, and talks no longer about
governing counties. He would be free to do anything in this island that St. Peter
himself would have done or wished to do, and even if, in addition, he desired to
be chaired like Guy Eawkes, his wishes could be gratified on the premises of the
Duke oe Norfolk, or the park or grounds of some other Roman Catholic noble-
man or gentleman. None of his spiritual functions would be interfered with in
the least; and he might have his feet kissed as much as lie liked by Mr. Bowyer
and the rest of the faithful. He would never hear a whisper of No Popery ! "
wliilst he left the British Church alone; on the contrary, m taking his drive in
Regent Street or the Park, he would most likely be cheered by the British Public.
He would at least be treated with the same respect as that which is paid to
every dissenting clergyman of distinction, and his spiritual authority over his own
denomination would perhaps be more absolute than it is in any other country in
'ne worlf)
THE PAGODA TREE.
" The Indian 5 per cent, loan at 15^ discount; a perennial deficit:
and no money to be got in India."—Summary of the First QovtnMn-
General's Budget.
The Land of Lid! the wondrous land—
The land of wealth from times of old:
Where pearls lay basking on the sand,
And golden waves Pactolus rolled;
Where in Golconda's darkling mines,
The diamond's buried sun-light shines.
India— a Queen of grace inert,
All golden-scarfed and jewel-crowned;
Her waist, with gem like shawls engirt,
Her wrists and ancles silver-bound—
How rich and rare a prize was she,
Beneath the full Pagoda Tree!
Those long and lustrous eyes alone,
Those odorous streams of silken hah,
That waist which mocked the tiny zone.
Those hands and feet so small and fair,
All these were charms to tempt and please,
But wooers sought her not for these.
None came to woo—all came to win;
The stalwart Rajpoot calm and proud,
The polished Greek with whiter skin,
The flat-faced Mongol's roving crowd,
The Moslem Arab, swart and spare,
The daring Briton—all were there.
Upon the maid by turns they fell,
Each rent his share of gauds away;
But as he turned his gains to tell,
Another came to wrest the prey ;
And she sat by and watched the strife—
The robber's prize, the victor's wife.
Wife of a bed still wet with tears :
Cursed or caressed, the slave of scorn;
The gold wrenched from her bleeding ears ;
Erom her bruised wrists the bangles torn:
Her gems and gem-like shawls a prize,
Eor grasping hands and hungry eyes.
What if poor India groaned and gasped
Beneath each ruffian plund'rer's knee ?
Enough for him that he had grasped,
His bough of the Pagoda Tree,
And shook and shook its golden shower—
Poor India's fair and fatal dower.
The Briton too has played his part
Of plund'rer, 'mong the Pagan horde,
As keen of hand, as hard of heart,
As proud and pitiless a Lord ;
Hath tum'd from India's prayer and plea,
To grasp at the Pagoda Tree.
None shook so long; none shook so well;
No stronger hand e'er grasped its bough;
But less and less the fruit that fell,
Though flushed the shaker's knitted brow—
His sweat flows fast, his gripe is grim;
But the tree yields no more for him !
Enough—too much—of work like this :
Work ill-repaid as ill-begun;
'Tis time to right what is amiss;
Time India's wrong should be undone:
Time to admit, if hers the soil,
'Tis ours to save, as well as spoil.
Ours as we boast a Christian creed,
Ours as a righteous law we own,
To trample down usurping Greed,
And set up Justice on its throne;
The poor Pagoda Tree to spare,
Or in its crop let India share.
To act the truth we speak—that fruit
Comes not by shaking of the tree,
But digging deep about its root,
Manuring wisely, pruning free ;
So shall poor India's woeful dower,
To her be joy, to us be power;
So full of fruitage we shall see,
For aye, the broad Pagoda Tree!