Punch (48.1865)

IV

PUNCH. OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[July 1, 1865.

A Woman’s Man must be a good man, and Mr. Punch was known par excellence—well, she would say cat
exokeen—as the Friend of Woman. He had certainly told her of her slight faults, but it was only to set
in a brighter light her splendid merits, and it was to Mr. Punch that the Women of the Empire resorted
for counsel, comfort, amusement, and instruction. Mr. Bull had referred to Mr. Punch’s long services, but
she could only say that he looked younger than ever, and grew handsomer every day. She hoped that
Mrs. Punch would not be jealous of her for admiring him, but she must say that she considered him as
an unlimited and unmitigated Duck.” (Terrific and renewed Cheers.)

No other Candidate being proposed, (“ I should like to see one,” said the last speaker, grasping her
trident in a demonstrative fashion,) Mr. Punch was declared duly Elected for the Empire.

When the shouting had subsided, not because the world wished to desist, but had shouted itself
into exhaustion,

The Imperial Member advanced, and spoke as follows

“ You have this day done a right and a wise thing. Do you suppose that I shall thank you, or
compliment you for what you have done ? By Jove, I should say not. As my friend Roebuck said to
the mob at Sheffield, I know what I am about, and you mind your own business. You have elected the
only person in the world who is capable of doing the work he undertakes to do, and he means to do it.
What I have done for twenty-four years, in defiance of all menace, advice, bribe, suggestion, criticism, and
abuse, I intend to do for twenty-four years more; that is to say, I mean to keep England in the Right
Place. You can go. I have no intention of staying. But here is something to take home with you,
and in utter defiance of the Treating Act, I give you all this Treat.”

And as from the magic hat of Frikell or Stodare, there flew out innumerable copies of the

Do! tunc.