Punch (48.1865)

April 1, 1865.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI

125





PUNCH’S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

on day, March 20.
Lord Stanhope,
who is entitled to
be heard with re-
spect on any sub-
ject, and especially
on any subject in
which posterity will
be interested, made
an earnest protest
against burying the
new Temple of Jus-
tice, instead of'
placing it where it
would ornament
London. But the
site seems to be
settled, and the
stronghold of Law
will be Castle-Carey.

Mr. H. Berke-
ley, of the Ballot,
does not believe in
the machinery by
which black balls
\\ are deposited

vA) \ in the ships of our

enemies ; and he
brought on another

American debate. The Marquis op Hartington stood to his guns. The Larger
Bentinck abused the plans for defending Canada. This gentleman has taken a
dislike to his chief, Mr. Disraeli, and often walks out of the House, in a marked
manner, in order to illustrate his disloyalty. Captain Jervis said that the cry of
invasion was a Bogie. There were some other speeches, and the rest of the night
was devoted to the service of Mars, God of War, and good progress was made
with the Estimates for the support of the priests and ministers of the Bellipotent.

Tuesday. Mr. A. Smith made an onslaught upon the Office of Works and the
Woods and Foresl*, charging the authorities with all kinds of waste, mismanage-
ment, corruption, and other bad vices, and he demanded a great reform, which Mr.
Frederick Peel assured him was unnecessary.

Mr. Monsell, who is a moderate Catholic, obtained leave to bring in a Bill for
doing away with the oaths which his fellow-believers have to take on being admitted
to office. They have to renounce the Catholic doctrine that Sovereigns excommuni-
cated by the Pope may be deposed by their subjects, and they have also to abjure
all intention of upsetting the Church of England. Mr. Punch has the grimmest
disfavour for all useless oaths, because they savour of profanity, and inasmuch as
the excommunication of a Sovereign by the Pope is usually an excellent means of
strengthening that Sovereign’s position (as may be observed, your Holiness, in the
case of Yictor-Emmanuel, King of Italy, your Holiness), we are not much
afraid of the process. The Queen of England is believed to be in a chronic state
of excommunication, but we are not aware that the Howards, or Sir George
Bowyer, or the majority of the Irish Members, entertain any intention of effecting
the deposition of the Sovereign. We had rather trust to the loyalty of the
Catholics and to the fears of the Papists, than to any oaths. As for the Church
oath, Mr. M9NSELL said, with justice, that it was absurd to exact it from men who
would maintain the Protestant establishment, as a bulwark against infidelity, and
not to require it of _ Mr. Bright and Mr. Hadfield, whose first words on
awakening, when their servants knock with the shaving water, are Delenda est
Ecclesia, or a free and easy translation thereof. Moreover, we flatter ourselves that
we are quite able to maintain the Church against all comers, and do not wish to be
beholden to anybody’s forbearance. Government did not resist the introduction of
the Bill, but we need hardly say that Mr. Newdegate had an instant vision of the
window at Whitehall, and Mr. Whalley beheld St. Paul’s in the fire, which he is
not likely to kindle in the Thames. In the course of his speech Mr. Newdegate
grew vehement, and bonneted Mr. Horspall, but as the great Protestant
apologised like a gentleman, and has sent Mr. Horspall a new hat, we really
mention it only in honour of the orator’s energy.

Mr. Sheridan then beat the Government soundly. Despite the protests of the
Chancellor of the Exchequer, that he ought not to be bound to anything, and
that votes ought not to be taken on money matters until he should have cut the
Surplus Cake, after Easter, the House condemned the tax on Eire Assurance. Mr.
Punch regrets any annoyance to his friend Mr. Gladstone, and feels that he,
Mr. P., ought to apologise to him, Mr. G., for publishing an epigram which pro-
duced this effect. Mr. Punch having said that he would hear of no assurance duty
except the duty of assurance, the tax was stabbed by that glittering poniard. But
in the interest of Society he will stick at nothing, or rather at everything that
deserves sticking, and this tax on prudence merited the fate which it met to-night.

Wednesday. Sir Colman O’Loghlen endeavoured to carry a Bill for giving
Irishmen an opportunity of travelling on Railways upon Sundays. As he was
defeated, we have little to say on the subject, except that two points in the debate
may be worth notice. One is, that an Irish Member declared that Limerick was a
dreary place, and he could understand the desire of people to get away from it on

Sunday. Then what does the poet mean by stating in
song that “Limerick is beautiful.” Of course we agree
with another poet, the late Mr. Prior, that one need not
“ swear to the truth of a song,” but this flagrant contradic-
tion demands explanation. Secondly, it was declared on
high authority, that a Railway is a public road, and any
person may put carriages on it. On the faith of this state-
ment, Mr. Punch has ordered a private engine and smoking
carriage of his own, and having occasion to go to Edin-
burgh, to see the new statue to Professor Wilson, and
take a few drams with the editor of the Scotsman, with
Alexander Smith, the poet, and with Professor Blackie
the Englishman, he will require the road on Wednesday
next, and he hereby gives notice that the line is to be kept
clear, as he never stops, except to smile at the pretty girls
at the Peterborough station, and to punch the head of a
surly porter or so at Carlisle.

Thursday. Earl Russell made a Speech intended to
promote friendly feelings between us and the Eederals. He
intimated that there was a probability that the Reciprocity
Treaty might not be put an end to, that the American
Government had abolished the passport system on the
frontier, and intended to withdraw the notice for abrogating
the treaty as to armaments on the Lakes. He also said
that we had been exquisitely civil in all our despatches, and
that the late Prince Consort himself had suggested some
alterations in the Trent despatch, whereby it was rendered
still more polite than in the first draft. And though he
named nobody, he levelled a pretty straight hit at Mr.
Bright, for trying to make the Yankees believe that we
had treated them harshly. There was no question, he said,
between the Governments. Sir Erederick Bruce, whose
wisdom hath approved itself in the East, has departed as
our representative in the West, vice Lord Lyons.

If it be true—Mr. Scully alleges it—-that a child under
six and a man of sixty-five have been flogged in gaol, the
cases are not for words, but for such punishment of the
perpetrators as shall be remembered by all Justices and
gaolers for many a long day. But in spite of our abject
faith in the plenary and verbal inspiration of Mr. Scully,
we are obliged to say that we must await further infor-
mation.

Those Saffron Hill Italian rioters give a great deal of
trouble. Pelizzioni, the man who was convicted of
murder, and has been pardoned, because the act was not
murder, and also seems to have been committed by some-
body else, is now to be tried for wounding a potman called
Rebbeck. The police are charged with having resolved to
convict Pelizzioni, and with having suppressed all evi-
dence that did not tend to that result. It is certain that
when a policeman has made up his very luminous mind as
to a person’s guilt, the official mode of getting up the case
is uncommonly satisfactory—so far as it goes; only, as
Chief Baron Pollock remarked at Lewes, the other
day, “the object of a criminal prosecution is not to get a
verdict, but to get at the facts.” This dictum, which no
doubt seemed most offensive and uncalled-for to the gentle-
men whose creed begins with “ From information which I
received,” was elicited in a case in which the police caused
an amiable and most respectable lady, the widow of a
British officer, to be tried because a fire occurred in her
house, and they could not find out how it had arisen. With
such a prosecutor as Mr. Denman, such a defender as
Serjeant Ballantine, and such a Judge as the Chief
Baron Pollock, an innocent lady in the dock was, of
course, as safe from any serious consequences of police stu
pidity as she could have been in her own drawing-room;
but the pain, the anxiety, the public scene, and the heavy
expense occasioned to her, are by no means to be forgotten.
“ More brain, more brain 1 ” as Mr. George Meredith,
the poet, exolaimeth.

Debate on the fortification of Quebec, and repetition of
most things that had previously been said. Mr. Disraeli
did not believe that the normal state of America would be
the maintenance of armies like those ol Xerxes. Perhaps
not, yet we should not be surprised to hear a Yankee
declare that the Republic, like that monarch, would “ whip
the ocean.” Mr. Bright complimented Mr. Disraeli on
unexpected diffidence. The House felt, like Englishmen,
that whether we could defend Canada or not, it was due to
the gallant and loyal Canadians to assure them that we
meant to try, and the Quebec fortifications were voted by
275 to 40. The Larger Bentinck, who had moved an
amendment, walked out of the House “ amid ironical
cheers.”