Punch (48.1865)

June 3, 1865.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

219

PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

onday, May 22. Lord
Kinnalrd’s horse—Bill
we mean, but everything
is flavoured with Derby-
ism this week—for caus-
ing some care to be taken
for the health of the
workers in Metalliferous
Mines broke down at the
turn. He made a false
start, but he will do the
trick yet. Of course,
everything is abused that
does not come out of the
Administration Stable.

Lord Derby expressed
laudable satisfaction at
the success of his mea-
sure for regulating Alkali
Works. Manufacturers
are too ready to put the
pot on without regard to
the noses of their neigh-
bours.

Mr. Darby Griffith
made a very proper speech
upon a subject which at
once enlisted public at-
tention. This was the case
of Colonel Dawkins. It seemed to have been resolved by the Military Authorities
that this officer should retire. The reason, so far as we can make out, was that his
temper, or manner, was not pleasing to certain other officers, and that they did not
desire to he commanded by him. Two courts of inquiry (upon the composition of
which Courts, and the official expectation that they would decide in accordance
with the views of the Horse Guards, several things are said) had been held, and the
result is that Colonel Dawkins has been crushed. One member of the last Court,
Colonel de Bathe, protested, in a gallant and manly way, against what appeared
to him to be injustice. The Parliamentary Colonels, as usual, were displeased that
the House should be appealed to on a military subject, and the Government, of course,
took the same view. Mr. Punch has the pleasure of thoroughly agreeing with
Mr. Bright that the House of Commons is the final court of appeal for any
aggrieved subject of the Queen. Mr. Griffith did his work very well, and took
a division, but it had not been expected, and many Members had left, but 112
supported him on the motion for papers, against 172. Later in the week the subject
came up again, when Lord PIartington, having had time to get up the subject,
gave an explanation which showed that Colonel Dawkins’s unpopularity was not
unnatural or undeserved, but which otherwise left the grievance just where it was.

The last onslaught—or rather the last but one—was made on the Bill for
Preventing Exclusion of Labourers from Parishes. Mr. Ivnight, who, according
to the iulallible Dod, is descended from a considerable ironmaster in the time of
Cromwell, made a proposal for taking about a million and three-quarters out of the
present taxation of the country, and applying it in aid of the Unions. The suggestion
savoured less of the iron than of the brassmaster. Mr. Yilliers denounced it as
wild, and it was tamed by a severe speech from Mr. Gladstone and a decided
negative by the House. On Thursday, after a long speech from Mr. Henley, and
t wo protests, which, when we name the makers, wdl at once convince the country
’bat the Bill is a wise one—Mr. Bentinck and Mr. Knight protested against it—
this righteous and valuable measure was read a Third Time and passed. Now for
the final and deciding heat, three times round the woolsack.

Tuesday. Lord Chelmsford has the old instincts of the profession which he
followed before he took to the law—no, we are not going to write before he began
lo spell navy with a k, because the joke is old, and also slanderous, and most
lawyers are honester men than most men. But he gallantly resolved to try and
rescue our captives in Abyssinia. Lord Russell deprecated interference, as likely
to be resented by the Dusky Tyrant who sits on the throne of Rasselas. We
should like to tie him into a chair, and let a mumbling curate read his aucestor’s
history to him for six weeks. His remains should then be presented to Surgeon’s
Hall. Lord Russell, however, has sent him a letter from the Queen, and
presents. But Lord Chelmsford divided, and there was an odd muddle over the
vote, but at last it was settled, and the Sea-Chancellor won by a neck—one neck.

Mr. Maguire stated the case of the paper-makers, which is disastrous. The
abolition ot the Paper Duties has not been followed by similar liberality abroad, and
it is contended that in these circumstances we ought to impose an export duty on
hnglish rags. Mr. Milner Gibson made the usual Eree Trade answer, and the
more consolatory one, that some nations were abolishing, and some reducing their
duties. Mr. Maguire’s motion was defeated by 140 to 95.

What a Bear Garden may be, we, who do not live in the days of the Virgin
Queen, are unable to say. But the word sticks in the memory of unimaginative
people, and they use it when they wish to say that there is a disgraceful disturbance.
A Music Hall, when a favourite buffoon is too. tipsy, or too sulky to oblige the cads
with an encore, would be an illustration more in accordance with the manners, and
bad manners, of the day. The old word was applied to-day to the House of

Commons, because Mr. Whalley, talking nonsense, and
worse, was received with odd noises, and the usual invi-
tation to sing. He talked about Popish practices, and
wished Parliament to put them down, as if the good sense
of the people of England did not teach them to laugh at
such follies. Had Mr. Whalley confined himself to
absurdity, it had been well. But he made a statement
against Mr. Wagner, of Brighton, which the Star justly
calls “a most serious and shocking charge,” and Mr.
Wagner has, in print, described Mr. Whalley’s conduct
as “cowardly wickedness.” The accuser has since said
that he spoke only of rumour, and that if he has done
injustice he will make reparation. But when it is known that,
the “ rumour ” on which a Member of the English House
of Commons spoke, was that a clergyman of the Establish-
ment, in order that an institution might obtain the benefit
of a lady’s legacy, deliberately placed that lady within the
reach of infection from fever, we suppose there will not be
two opinions as to the conduct of Mr. Whalley, or the
resentment of the clergyman who is accused of treacherous
murder. It was matter of course that Mr. Whalley’s
absurd proposals should be promptly condemned by Sir
George Grey, but the shameful feature in the case
removes it out of our jurisdiction. We distinctly state,
however, that a person who has so little self-restraint is
unfit, until further educated, for a seat in the Plouse of
Commons, and upon public grounds we invite his con-
stituents to consider the propriety of re-electing Mr.
Whalley.

With the assent of Government, a Committee was ap-
pointed to inquire into the circumstances attending the
resignation of the Registrar of Bankruptcy at Leeds, and
the appointment of his successor. This motion is aimed at
Lord Westbury, but Mr. Malins, a Conservative,
avowed his belief that many charges against that noble-
man will prove unfounded.

Wednesday. The Houses did not sit. Queen Victoria
was born on the 24th of May, 1819. An improved style of
Illumination is getting popular. Coloured cut glass, with
strong light behind, is the most effective thing out in the
way of expression of gaseous joy.

Thursday. The Lords did not sit, because it was Holy
Thursday, and there are Bishops in their House.

The Commons, who are not so blest, did sit—passed the
valuable Bill already mentioned, and the Partnership Bill,
and then the County Bank Notes Bill went through Com-
mittee. There was a smart debate, in which no person will
take any interest, seeing that it is agreed, by common con-
sent, that the Currency Question and its issues, which
concern every one of us more than any other conceivable
subject, shall never be mentioned in rational society. Who
cares about the Currency P There was ten thousand times
more excitement at the news that at 414 this day The
Duke was scratched. Beside the effect on betting men, this
event has taken the sentimental feature out of the Derby. It
no longer includes an equestrian struggle, which had a great
interest for the ladies, though the horse which their amiable
liking for a little harmless revenge induced them generally
to put gloves on, is not taken out. He may beat the field,
but that will be a tame victory, for he cannot win the battle
of Hastings.

It is not weather to talk of Eire (except the pleasant one
with faces in it, Miss Herbert’s face included) but it must
be said that we are to have a new Brigade, under the con-
trol of Sir Thwaites, and not of the Police. It is to be
hoped that the parties will act harmoniously, as policemen
are necessary at a fire, and that in case of a row Sir
Thwaites’s vassals will not begin pumping on the Bobbies,
who will, in that case certainly deserve their sartorial name
of Slops. Many new stations are to be added. In America
the Eiremen are an institution, they are proud ot then
engines, adorning them with silver, and they have an esprit
de corps, vote as unanimously as they pump, and join in
processions, engines and all. The ladies smile on them, and
poets (American poets at least) make songs in their honour
full of poetical Eire.

Mr. Crawford, late in the night, began to say some-
thing about a lot of places in the Highlands. Those savage
regions are dear to us, and when he named Oban, and we
thought upon a boat (with no Cockney excursionists) and
ourselves setting forth upon the blue sea, blue eyes before
us, for a sail to Iona, our sensations became overpowering,
and we rushed out for refreshment. We believe that his
Bill had something to do with elections. 0 that we were