DOI Heft:
May 27, 1865
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16875#0217
May 27, 1865.1
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
209
THE BANISHMENT OF THE BEGGARS. A NEW ‘ TRAMP CHORUS.”
{Suggestedby a Clause in Me. Yilliebs’ “ Houseless Poor ” Pill.)
A LETTER FROM A LODGING-LETTER.
Mks. Eilcher presents her compliments to Mr. Punch, and requests
him to peruse the follering advertyzement, which she thinks it is dis-
graceful in a jernal like the Times to have allowed of its insertion
D OOMS WANTED, by two gentlemen, living a few miles out of town
-*A —two small bed-rooms and one sitting-room for occasional use, for the next
three or four months. The bed-rooms may be anywhere, but the sitting-room must
be on the ground-floor. The attendance must be perfect, and the rooms and servants
must be scrupulously clean and neat. Regular lodging-house-keepers, with wretched
furniture and overworked servants always dirty, are politely requested not to
answer this advertisement.
Mr. P. will much oblidge bis umble servant, Mrs. E., if he will please
to mention what steps she ought to take for to recover compensation
for this mean and hojus hinsult, which as a “ reglar lodging-letter ” she
have hereby received. Mbs. F. would beg to state that if it had been
only in a penny newspaper, she would ave passed it hover with con-
temptious disgust, for penny advertyzers is not what she aspires to
entertain within er ouse. But being in the Times she feel it is a hinsult
and a blot on her carackter, as ought at least to be apologised if not a
5 pun note or so into her pocket, which though she do let her rooms
reglar, her furniture she will say is fit for any gentleman, and it is a
wicked calomel to talk about her servant being “ overworked and
dirty,” for I do mostly all the cooking, and except the stoves and boot
blacking and cleaning of the knives and forks, and washing up the
crockery and brushing up the ouse a bit, there’s reelly next to nothink
in the way of dirt and dust as my gal ever have to do, and as for over-
work, why lawks ! there never were a place more easy for a servant nor
more comfortable nayther, for she only have the drawing-rooms as dine
every day at home, for the ground and second-floors goes out directly
after breakfast, and the back attic he gets his meals all in the City, and
his shoes and shavink water is all as he requires, which there’s nobody
at present oceipying my top front.
Why and Because.—Why are Cats kept in sporting
Stables ? To scratch the Racehorses.
gentlemen’s
0 W, tramp, now tramp to prison cell,
Or quit the trade that pays so well.
The scamps who whine for charity,
Cleared from our streets ere long will be :
A clause in Me. Villters’ Act
Is fatal to all tramps, in fact;
And beggars who disturb our peace
Must now their odious calling cease.
Sham injured workmen will no more
Display their wounds from door to door.
No more the lame will howl their woes,
Or clap their crutches on our toes.
No more the blind, with ghastly eye,
Will glare on all who pass them by.
No more, when they are frozen out.
Will hulking navvies bawl and shout.
Sham paralytics now no more
Will shake and slaver, as of yore :
Sham widows will no more be seen,
With eyes upturned and aprons clean,
And hired babies in their arms,
And hired brats, who bellow psalms.
Artistic tramps will now no more
Chalk “ I am starving ! ” at your door ;
Or on the pavement lie forlorn,
Beside the mackerel they have drawn.
Hence ! ye tramps who dog our heel.
And beg or bully, whine or squeal:
Hence, ye one-legged cripples, hence !
Impostors ye who make pretence
Of having for your country fought:
Away to prison, and be taught,
By exercise upon the Mill
The benefit of Villiebs’ Bill;
Which (and ’twill soon be law, we trust)
Provides that all, who can work, must.
Catholic Fare in Quod.
Petitions from various Roman Catholic congregations were pre-
sented the other evening in the House of Commons “ for proper religious
provision for Roman Catholic prisoners and paupers.” The religious
provision contemplated by the petitioners, as proper for their co-
religionists in gaols and workhouses, might be surmised to be fish on
Fridays and during Lent. Very well; allow the deserving Roman
Catholic poor salt cod and parsnips; but as to the Roman Catholic
criminals, they had better be made to fast altogether as hard as possible,
with the whole of the Protestant convicts to keep them company.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
209
THE BANISHMENT OF THE BEGGARS. A NEW ‘ TRAMP CHORUS.”
{Suggestedby a Clause in Me. Yilliebs’ “ Houseless Poor ” Pill.)
A LETTER FROM A LODGING-LETTER.
Mks. Eilcher presents her compliments to Mr. Punch, and requests
him to peruse the follering advertyzement, which she thinks it is dis-
graceful in a jernal like the Times to have allowed of its insertion
D OOMS WANTED, by two gentlemen, living a few miles out of town
-*A —two small bed-rooms and one sitting-room for occasional use, for the next
three or four months. The bed-rooms may be anywhere, but the sitting-room must
be on the ground-floor. The attendance must be perfect, and the rooms and servants
must be scrupulously clean and neat. Regular lodging-house-keepers, with wretched
furniture and overworked servants always dirty, are politely requested not to
answer this advertisement.
Mr. P. will much oblidge bis umble servant, Mrs. E., if he will please
to mention what steps she ought to take for to recover compensation
for this mean and hojus hinsult, which as a “ reglar lodging-letter ” she
have hereby received. Mbs. F. would beg to state that if it had been
only in a penny newspaper, she would ave passed it hover with con-
temptious disgust, for penny advertyzers is not what she aspires to
entertain within er ouse. But being in the Times she feel it is a hinsult
and a blot on her carackter, as ought at least to be apologised if not a
5 pun note or so into her pocket, which though she do let her rooms
reglar, her furniture she will say is fit for any gentleman, and it is a
wicked calomel to talk about her servant being “ overworked and
dirty,” for I do mostly all the cooking, and except the stoves and boot
blacking and cleaning of the knives and forks, and washing up the
crockery and brushing up the ouse a bit, there’s reelly next to nothink
in the way of dirt and dust as my gal ever have to do, and as for over-
work, why lawks ! there never were a place more easy for a servant nor
more comfortable nayther, for she only have the drawing-rooms as dine
every day at home, for the ground and second-floors goes out directly
after breakfast, and the back attic he gets his meals all in the City, and
his shoes and shavink water is all as he requires, which there’s nobody
at present oceipying my top front.
Why and Because.—Why are Cats kept in sporting
Stables ? To scratch the Racehorses.
gentlemen’s
0 W, tramp, now tramp to prison cell,
Or quit the trade that pays so well.
The scamps who whine for charity,
Cleared from our streets ere long will be :
A clause in Me. Villters’ Act
Is fatal to all tramps, in fact;
And beggars who disturb our peace
Must now their odious calling cease.
Sham injured workmen will no more
Display their wounds from door to door.
No more the lame will howl their woes,
Or clap their crutches on our toes.
No more the blind, with ghastly eye,
Will glare on all who pass them by.
No more, when they are frozen out.
Will hulking navvies bawl and shout.
Sham paralytics now no more
Will shake and slaver, as of yore :
Sham widows will no more be seen,
With eyes upturned and aprons clean,
And hired babies in their arms,
And hired brats, who bellow psalms.
Artistic tramps will now no more
Chalk “ I am starving ! ” at your door ;
Or on the pavement lie forlorn,
Beside the mackerel they have drawn.
Hence ! ye tramps who dog our heel.
And beg or bully, whine or squeal:
Hence, ye one-legged cripples, hence !
Impostors ye who make pretence
Of having for your country fought:
Away to prison, and be taught,
By exercise upon the Mill
The benefit of Villiebs’ Bill;
Which (and ’twill soon be law, we trust)
Provides that all, who can work, must.
Catholic Fare in Quod.
Petitions from various Roman Catholic congregations were pre-
sented the other evening in the House of Commons “ for proper religious
provision for Roman Catholic prisoners and paupers.” The religious
provision contemplated by the petitioners, as proper for their co-
religionists in gaols and workhouses, might be surmised to be fish on
Fridays and during Lent. Very well; allow the deserving Roman
Catholic poor salt cod and parsnips; but as to the Roman Catholic
criminals, they had better be made to fast altogether as hard as possible,
with the whole of the Protestant convicts to keep them company.