March 4, 1865.]
PUNCH, .OR THE LONDON CHARTVARI.
85
DOING IT “ LIKE A BIRD.”
“ Recently, at a Ball in Paris, a Russian lady adopted
the emblems of the peacock, and every ornament and
article of dress brought to mind the glittering colours
and shining plumes of Juno’s bird. The dress was of
white tulle, embroidered all over with Argus’ eyes. A
tunic, reaching from the waist to a little below the knee,
was composed of striped velvet, recalling the colours of
the peacock ; bunches of peacocks’ feathers everywhere,
held together by bouquets of emeralds and diamonds.
A peacock, perfect in form, shape, and colour, adorned
her forehead. The ornament was composed entirely of
the finest brilliants and emeralds, the neck of the bird,
with its crest, being formed of the most splendid sap-
phires. The whole was most curious and striking.”
The fashionable reporter omits to add, that,
in order to make the resemblance to the pea-
cock complete, and having read the proverb,
which describes it as having “ the plumage of an
angel, the voice of a devil, and the interior of
a glutton,” the female idiot in question eat
several suppers voraciously, and went off in a
screaming lit.
PORCULUS MARINUS LOQUITUR.
Who brought me from the briny wave,
Who with his kindness killed my corpus,
Who dug me a freshwater grave,
And popped me into it, poor Porpoise,
Who choked me with his bits of fat,
And standing where the eider duck land,
Did tantalise me with a sprat.
Who cut me open, eh? P-k B——D.
CONDESCENDING.
Master Tom (going back to School, to Fellow Passenger). “ Ip you’d like to Smoke, you
KNOW, GOV’NOUR, don’t YOU MIND ME, I BATHER LIKE IT ! ”
Literary Intelligence.
A Cambridge Undergraduate is informed that
Pale-on-tology has nothing to do with the works
of the author of the Evidences of Christianity.
PUNCH’S ESSENCE OE PARLIAMENT.
onday, February 20.
The Lords are very
uncomfortable about
Canada. Lord
Lyveden, quoting
Colonel Jervois’
Report, showed that
the colony was in a
most undefended
state, and urged that
there could be no
reliance on the
peaceful purposes of
the Pederals. Lord
Derby considered
the state of our re-
lations with the
Americans to be
most critical, and
that the Colonel’s
report was humilia-
ting to this country.
Our danger was
from the passionate
hostility of a great
population. We
ought, he said, to
prepare to defend
Canada. Lord El-
lenborough was on the same side. The Government came out in a trio—Lords
De Grey, Granville, and Russell defending our conduct, and declining to see
hostility in that of America. Lord Russell added that the Congress deserved all
credit for having decreed the Abolition of Slavery—a cause always dear to the
English heart. Mr. Punch, while delighted at the Abolition of Slavery, begs to
remark to Lord Russell, that it would have been as much to the purpose to say
that the Federals had repaved Broadway.
Attention, Ladies. Marriages. The Queen issues a Commission to inquire into
the state of the Marriage Laws in the United Kingdom. Some of these days we
shall have legislation on the subject, and then people will have a chance of knowing
whether they are really married or not.
Also, a Bill has been introduced for enabling criminals to
be hanged in prison by special licence. A coroner’s jury
is proposed, and a certificate of the performance of the
ceremony is to be granted.
In the Bride of Lammermoor, if any remains of a certain
feast were totally uneatable, they were to be given to the
poor. The remains of to-night were similarly bestowed,
and persons interested in the subject will understand what
Government proposes when Mr. Punch mentions that the
area of charge is to be extended from the Parish to the
Union. The change is chiefly to be approved because it
tends to the future abolition of the system of settlement,
which cheats the ratepayer, and is cruel to the pauper.
Tuesday. The Chancellor proposed to get rid of some
Chancery business. He brings in a Bill placing small !
estates under the care of the County Courts. He also
means to advise the Judges of those remarkable tribunals
of rough justice to make orders for payment of debts by
weekly instead of monthly instalments. He means to intro-
duce a new Statute of Limitations, and to abolish all power
of recovering debts for intoxicating liquors supplied on
the premises. The British institution known as “chalking
it up ” will be done away, and a new light will be thrown
on the saying, “ walk your chalks.”
Well done, the Commons. Some people in Cheltenham
and thereabouts have got up a Water Company, and come
to Parliament for power to take the fluid from the springs
that supply the Thames. They would “rob the river,”
as Mr. Henley- whom we hereby raise to the Peerage,
as Lord PIenley-on-Thames—well said. The House
threw out the Bill by 118 to 88. Let the old frumps of
Cheltenham drink the Cheltenham waters, which they
are always puffing so furiously.
That Wimbledon business occasioned a smart debate. It
seems that Lord Spencer’s proposal to limit, civilise, and
rail in the Common, does not meet with the universal
adulation that was expected, and for which the cue was
so confidently given when the scheme was first broached.
A Committee of Inquiry on that matter, and similar ones,
was agreed to. It was allowed, however, that Lord
Spencer means well.
Mr. O’Reilly made a good speech on Recruiting, which
PUNCH, .OR THE LONDON CHARTVARI.
85
DOING IT “ LIKE A BIRD.”
“ Recently, at a Ball in Paris, a Russian lady adopted
the emblems of the peacock, and every ornament and
article of dress brought to mind the glittering colours
and shining plumes of Juno’s bird. The dress was of
white tulle, embroidered all over with Argus’ eyes. A
tunic, reaching from the waist to a little below the knee,
was composed of striped velvet, recalling the colours of
the peacock ; bunches of peacocks’ feathers everywhere,
held together by bouquets of emeralds and diamonds.
A peacock, perfect in form, shape, and colour, adorned
her forehead. The ornament was composed entirely of
the finest brilliants and emeralds, the neck of the bird,
with its crest, being formed of the most splendid sap-
phires. The whole was most curious and striking.”
The fashionable reporter omits to add, that,
in order to make the resemblance to the pea-
cock complete, and having read the proverb,
which describes it as having “ the plumage of an
angel, the voice of a devil, and the interior of
a glutton,” the female idiot in question eat
several suppers voraciously, and went off in a
screaming lit.
PORCULUS MARINUS LOQUITUR.
Who brought me from the briny wave,
Who with his kindness killed my corpus,
Who dug me a freshwater grave,
And popped me into it, poor Porpoise,
Who choked me with his bits of fat,
And standing where the eider duck land,
Did tantalise me with a sprat.
Who cut me open, eh? P-k B——D.
CONDESCENDING.
Master Tom (going back to School, to Fellow Passenger). “ Ip you’d like to Smoke, you
KNOW, GOV’NOUR, don’t YOU MIND ME, I BATHER LIKE IT ! ”
Literary Intelligence.
A Cambridge Undergraduate is informed that
Pale-on-tology has nothing to do with the works
of the author of the Evidences of Christianity.
PUNCH’S ESSENCE OE PARLIAMENT.
onday, February 20.
The Lords are very
uncomfortable about
Canada. Lord
Lyveden, quoting
Colonel Jervois’
Report, showed that
the colony was in a
most undefended
state, and urged that
there could be no
reliance on the
peaceful purposes of
the Pederals. Lord
Derby considered
the state of our re-
lations with the
Americans to be
most critical, and
that the Colonel’s
report was humilia-
ting to this country.
Our danger was
from the passionate
hostility of a great
population. We
ought, he said, to
prepare to defend
Canada. Lord El-
lenborough was on the same side. The Government came out in a trio—Lords
De Grey, Granville, and Russell defending our conduct, and declining to see
hostility in that of America. Lord Russell added that the Congress deserved all
credit for having decreed the Abolition of Slavery—a cause always dear to the
English heart. Mr. Punch, while delighted at the Abolition of Slavery, begs to
remark to Lord Russell, that it would have been as much to the purpose to say
that the Federals had repaved Broadway.
Attention, Ladies. Marriages. The Queen issues a Commission to inquire into
the state of the Marriage Laws in the United Kingdom. Some of these days we
shall have legislation on the subject, and then people will have a chance of knowing
whether they are really married or not.
Also, a Bill has been introduced for enabling criminals to
be hanged in prison by special licence. A coroner’s jury
is proposed, and a certificate of the performance of the
ceremony is to be granted.
In the Bride of Lammermoor, if any remains of a certain
feast were totally uneatable, they were to be given to the
poor. The remains of to-night were similarly bestowed,
and persons interested in the subject will understand what
Government proposes when Mr. Punch mentions that the
area of charge is to be extended from the Parish to the
Union. The change is chiefly to be approved because it
tends to the future abolition of the system of settlement,
which cheats the ratepayer, and is cruel to the pauper.
Tuesday. The Chancellor proposed to get rid of some
Chancery business. He brings in a Bill placing small !
estates under the care of the County Courts. He also
means to advise the Judges of those remarkable tribunals
of rough justice to make orders for payment of debts by
weekly instead of monthly instalments. He means to intro-
duce a new Statute of Limitations, and to abolish all power
of recovering debts for intoxicating liquors supplied on
the premises. The British institution known as “chalking
it up ” will be done away, and a new light will be thrown
on the saying, “ walk your chalks.”
Well done, the Commons. Some people in Cheltenham
and thereabouts have got up a Water Company, and come
to Parliament for power to take the fluid from the springs
that supply the Thames. They would “rob the river,”
as Mr. Henley- whom we hereby raise to the Peerage,
as Lord PIenley-on-Thames—well said. The House
threw out the Bill by 118 to 88. Let the old frumps of
Cheltenham drink the Cheltenham waters, which they
are always puffing so furiously.
That Wimbledon business occasioned a smart debate. It
seems that Lord Spencer’s proposal to limit, civilise, and
rail in the Common, does not meet with the universal
adulation that was expected, and for which the cue was
so confidently given when the scheme was first broached.
A Committee of Inquiry on that matter, and similar ones,
was agreed to. It was allowed, however, that Lord
Spencer means well.
Mr. O’Reilly made a good speech on Recruiting, which