DOI Heft:
March 11, 1865
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16875#0103
March 11, 1865 ]
95
PUNCH, .OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
TOM KING,
OSCE PUGILIST, NOW SCULLER.
Once in a well-roped twelve-foot ring
Tom King displayed his mug,
But times are changed, and bold Tom King
Is now a bold “ Tom Tug.”
Among the heavy weights no more
His one-two he ’ll deliver ;
King of the Ring no more, he hopes
To shine King of the River.
He knows no counter but his skiff’s,
And sudden peaceful grown.
Instead of cracking others’ sculls
Now feathers but his own.
So long as in a wager-boat
There’s still room for a spar,
He that would match with him will catch
A Tartar in this Tar.
His right and left will still keep stroke,
Howe’er his combats fought are.
And fame that’s o’er upon the shore
Awaits his oar on water.
The Faith as it is in. Westbury.
A Venerable Bishop was complaining bitterly the other
day that Ecclesiastical Causes should come under the cogni-
sance of the Lord Chancellor—“ a person of no serious
or settled belief, and extremely lax, he believed, even in
attendance on public worship.”
“ Oh, no,” said Sam Oxon, “ The Lord Chancellor
is a most regular worshipper, and his Church is Little
Bethel.”
THE AMERICAN ELAG RE-QUARTERED.
AN INCURABLE.
Mamma. “ Algernon, you great silly Goose, I am ashamed of you ! To get
INTO SUCH A STATE ABOUT THAT ODIOUS LITTLE MlSS GRIGGS ! WHY, SHE WAS
DROPPING HER H’S ALL OVER THE ROOM ! ”
Algernon. “Was she? I only wish I’d known it; I’d have picked’em up—
AND REPT ’EM ! ”
Whether the South be recoguised or not, as a conse-
quence of the War, it is clear that the Negro will. When
the Stars shine again, the Stripes will have disappeared.
Preface for a Grammar.—Accidence will happen in
the best-regulated Syntax.
PUNCH'S ESSENCE OE PARLIAMENT.
“ Circseis nata forent, an
Lucrirmm ad saxum, Rutupinove edita fundo
Ostrea, oallebat primo deprendere morsu.”
onday, February 27.
As at a good dinner,
we began with Oys-
ters, but it was only
to hear from Lord
Granville that Go-
vernment does not
intend to legislate
for the Bivalves. Of
course, if the oysters
are unconcerned upon
the subject of reform,
it would not be states-
manlike to agitate
them. We repose
some confidence in
the President of the
Council in this mat-
ter, as he has a repu-
tation for knowing—
as a gentleman should
know—what consti-
tutes an artistic ban-
quet, and we have not
the slightest doubt in
the world is a match
for our friend Juve-
nal’s oysterish epi-
cure :—
Most ladies can read Latin, but for the railway interest,
Evangelical bishops, and fast young men, we will para-
phrase :—
You may blindfold his eyes, put the fish on his tongue,
And he ’ll tell you the place where from spat it has sprung.
The fat little Native, of oysterdom Queen,
The oyster that Paris adores for its green,
Nay, try with American fish that sedate man,
He ’ll say,“They sent this who have sent us Miss Bateman.”
Transportation was mentioned, and the Government,
using courteous terms towards the Australians, renewed
its assurance that in three years the system should entirely
cease. The delay was caused by the want of prison accom-
modation. This want is caused by our ridiculous system
of filling up our prisons with lodgers who could be much
more easily disposed of. If, instead of offering an ordi-
nary culprit hotel accommodation for six months, you gave
him a mild flogging, and discharged him, you would have
plenty of room for criminals of a worse caste, and also for
children whom you might reform, instead of leaving them
to a Pariah life, while the prig and the wife-beater are in
comfortable lodgings, with cocoa, chops, chaplains, and Gil
Bias. Moreover, his skin being the only thing he respects,
the chances are that you would not see him again, instead
of, as at present, being favoured with his patronage every
season.
Apropos of Gil Bias, Sir George Grey explained that
in the prison where that work was perused by the scoundrel
whom the mad doctors served so efficiently, that class of
reading would not be allowed in future. Accident revealed
the indulgence, and we dare say that until other accidents
occur, chaplains’ pets will enjoy similar recreations in many
of Her Majesty’s gaols.
95
PUNCH, .OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
TOM KING,
OSCE PUGILIST, NOW SCULLER.
Once in a well-roped twelve-foot ring
Tom King displayed his mug,
But times are changed, and bold Tom King
Is now a bold “ Tom Tug.”
Among the heavy weights no more
His one-two he ’ll deliver ;
King of the Ring no more, he hopes
To shine King of the River.
He knows no counter but his skiff’s,
And sudden peaceful grown.
Instead of cracking others’ sculls
Now feathers but his own.
So long as in a wager-boat
There’s still room for a spar,
He that would match with him will catch
A Tartar in this Tar.
His right and left will still keep stroke,
Howe’er his combats fought are.
And fame that’s o’er upon the shore
Awaits his oar on water.
The Faith as it is in. Westbury.
A Venerable Bishop was complaining bitterly the other
day that Ecclesiastical Causes should come under the cogni-
sance of the Lord Chancellor—“ a person of no serious
or settled belief, and extremely lax, he believed, even in
attendance on public worship.”
“ Oh, no,” said Sam Oxon, “ The Lord Chancellor
is a most regular worshipper, and his Church is Little
Bethel.”
THE AMERICAN ELAG RE-QUARTERED.
AN INCURABLE.
Mamma. “ Algernon, you great silly Goose, I am ashamed of you ! To get
INTO SUCH A STATE ABOUT THAT ODIOUS LITTLE MlSS GRIGGS ! WHY, SHE WAS
DROPPING HER H’S ALL OVER THE ROOM ! ”
Algernon. “Was she? I only wish I’d known it; I’d have picked’em up—
AND REPT ’EM ! ”
Whether the South be recoguised or not, as a conse-
quence of the War, it is clear that the Negro will. When
the Stars shine again, the Stripes will have disappeared.
Preface for a Grammar.—Accidence will happen in
the best-regulated Syntax.
PUNCH'S ESSENCE OE PARLIAMENT.
“ Circseis nata forent, an
Lucrirmm ad saxum, Rutupinove edita fundo
Ostrea, oallebat primo deprendere morsu.”
onday, February 27.
As at a good dinner,
we began with Oys-
ters, but it was only
to hear from Lord
Granville that Go-
vernment does not
intend to legislate
for the Bivalves. Of
course, if the oysters
are unconcerned upon
the subject of reform,
it would not be states-
manlike to agitate
them. We repose
some confidence in
the President of the
Council in this mat-
ter, as he has a repu-
tation for knowing—
as a gentleman should
know—what consti-
tutes an artistic ban-
quet, and we have not
the slightest doubt in
the world is a match
for our friend Juve-
nal’s oysterish epi-
cure :—
Most ladies can read Latin, but for the railway interest,
Evangelical bishops, and fast young men, we will para-
phrase :—
You may blindfold his eyes, put the fish on his tongue,
And he ’ll tell you the place where from spat it has sprung.
The fat little Native, of oysterdom Queen,
The oyster that Paris adores for its green,
Nay, try with American fish that sedate man,
He ’ll say,“They sent this who have sent us Miss Bateman.”
Transportation was mentioned, and the Government,
using courteous terms towards the Australians, renewed
its assurance that in three years the system should entirely
cease. The delay was caused by the want of prison accom-
modation. This want is caused by our ridiculous system
of filling up our prisons with lodgers who could be much
more easily disposed of. If, instead of offering an ordi-
nary culprit hotel accommodation for six months, you gave
him a mild flogging, and discharged him, you would have
plenty of room for criminals of a worse caste, and also for
children whom you might reform, instead of leaving them
to a Pariah life, while the prig and the wife-beater are in
comfortable lodgings, with cocoa, chops, chaplains, and Gil
Bias. Moreover, his skin being the only thing he respects,
the chances are that you would not see him again, instead
of, as at present, being favoured with his patronage every
season.
Apropos of Gil Bias, Sir George Grey explained that
in the prison where that work was perused by the scoundrel
whom the mad doctors served so efficiently, that class of
reading would not be allowed in future. Accident revealed
the indulgence, and we dare say that until other accidents
occur, chaplains’ pets will enjoy similar recreations in many
of Her Majesty’s gaols.