DOI Heft:
March 18, 1865
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16875#0113
March 18, 1865.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
105
SEASONABLE INTELLIGENCE.
1st Swell. “What have you been doing with yourself the lvst Two Months,
Charlie ?”
2nd Ditto. “ Litewally, by dear fellar, Blowid by Dose idcessadtly; what
have you ? ’*
PUNCH’S ESSENCE OE PARLIAM 10NT.
on day, March 6.
Discussion in the
Lords about new
military hospitals,
said to be con-
structed on the
“ glass and glare ”
principle. Some
tolerable jokes were
exchanged on the
subject, which
showed that the
Lords had not de-
generated from that
witty nobleman,
“myLord Biron,”
who undertook
“ To jest a twelvemonth
in an hospital.”
In the Commons
to-night, and in the
Lords on the next
evening, came ques-
tions and explana-
tions on what will
be known as “ the
Leonard Edmonds
Scandal.” If it were
not that one great name, which has ever been honoured in these pages, though its
owner has also contributed in no small degree to their fun, has been mixed up with
this business, Mr. Punch would make very short work of it. There is clearly a
whole chapter of omissions and commissions to be read.
But Mr. Punch is certain that he shall please all honest
readers (and he never desires to please any others) by for-
bearing from detail or comment until Henry Brougham
shall have been heard, and then all good men will be both
grieved and astonished, should not his speech be instantly
followed by a unanimous verdict of acquittal. Call the next
case.
The next case was that of John Bull v. Railway Mis-
management. Mr. Bentinck, for the plaintiff, demanded
that Government should have power to inquire into acci-
dents, and frame regulations.
As for the latter desire, the fact is that regulations are
framed already, and the frames are nailed up at the
Stations, but officials do not observe them. Mr. Milner
Gibson utterly declined, on the part of Government, to
undertake the proposed responsibility. On the whole, we
incline to think that the best preventive of accidents which
has yet been discovered is the old but invaluable ma-
chine called the British J"ury. It frightens Directors into
something like vigilance. The machine is kept in a box,
and when properly Charged, it explodes with splendid effect,
and is in fact a tremendous fog-signal, for intimating to
mis-managers that something is wrong.
And now for “ Rule Britannia.”
The martial, naval, and majestic hymn having been
executed, and our minds having been brought into what
good Tony Lumpkin calls a “ concatenation ” accordingly,
Lord Clarence Paget introduced the Navy Estimates.
Never mind about the money—we must pay what Lord
Clarence asks—but let us see what we have got for the
money.
We have got (in addition to our Wooden Walls, in which
we are not to trust) Thirty Armour-Clad Ships, most ol
them ready, and the rest (save one—now then, Millwall,
wake up !) so forward that they can be ready to do slaughter
at Christmas.
We are to have, for this year, 69,750 men, 2,200 fewer
than last year; but fever men mean more officers, and
therefore better-served ships, in these days of science.
We are to have 7,000 boys—the same number as last
year.
We reduce the number of our Marines on shore, and
we knock off 500 men from the expensive Coast Guard.
Among the Thirty Tyrants of the Azure Main, we have
19 iron-plated Line-of-Battle Ships, 7 smaller ones, and I of
great value for defensive purposes.
We are to have Four Ships of tremendous speed, which
his Lordship described as “Four AlahamasP Ahsit omen.
We are to have a “really” sea-going vessel (there is a
history in tliat word “ really ”) on Captain Cowper Coles’s
principle.
We are to have new Docks for the new set of large
armour-clad Ships.
All that reads pleasantly, and if we add that we are
asked for £10,392,221 to pay for these things (some
£300,000 less than last year), Mr. Punch does not set the
fact down to damp satisfaction, for
“ Estimates never were designed
To make our pleasures less,”
but because business is business as well as pleasure.
A good deal was said in reply to Lord Clarence,
and Sir John Pakington declined to wear rose-coloured
spectacles, and had a many things to say against various
ships, and against Mr. Reed, the Government designer,
who. Sir John considered, had bewitched his employers—
they, like Sylvia, rejoicing in
“ Telling how, with eager speed,
They flew to hear the vocal Reed.”
Sir J. Elphinstone accused the Government of wasting
money over bad ships. We resumed the subject on Thurs-
day, and Sir Morton Peto was very severe on the Govern-
ment, and as to Mr. Reed, the Baronet said that the
appointment of that gentleman made _ him disbelieve in the
Duke oe Somerset, but what profanity may not be ex-
pected from a Dissenter, Mrs. Grundy f Sir Morton
appealed to Captain Sherard Osborn’s report in favour
of the Royal Sovereign, which is adapted to the Cowper-
Coles plan, and is stated to be the best ship in the navy.
So said Sir J. Hay', who declared that the country was not
in a proper state of defence. To all these charges Lord
Clarence replied, complained that Members picked up
gossip, quoted Admiral Dacres, who seems to have
commanded all the ships m the world, and thought
Vol. 48.
4—2
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
105
SEASONABLE INTELLIGENCE.
1st Swell. “What have you been doing with yourself the lvst Two Months,
Charlie ?”
2nd Ditto. “ Litewally, by dear fellar, Blowid by Dose idcessadtly; what
have you ? ’*
PUNCH’S ESSENCE OE PARLIAM 10NT.
on day, March 6.
Discussion in the
Lords about new
military hospitals,
said to be con-
structed on the
“ glass and glare ”
principle. Some
tolerable jokes were
exchanged on the
subject, which
showed that the
Lords had not de-
generated from that
witty nobleman,
“myLord Biron,”
who undertook
“ To jest a twelvemonth
in an hospital.”
In the Commons
to-night, and in the
Lords on the next
evening, came ques-
tions and explana-
tions on what will
be known as “ the
Leonard Edmonds
Scandal.” If it were
not that one great name, which has ever been honoured in these pages, though its
owner has also contributed in no small degree to their fun, has been mixed up with
this business, Mr. Punch would make very short work of it. There is clearly a
whole chapter of omissions and commissions to be read.
But Mr. Punch is certain that he shall please all honest
readers (and he never desires to please any others) by for-
bearing from detail or comment until Henry Brougham
shall have been heard, and then all good men will be both
grieved and astonished, should not his speech be instantly
followed by a unanimous verdict of acquittal. Call the next
case.
The next case was that of John Bull v. Railway Mis-
management. Mr. Bentinck, for the plaintiff, demanded
that Government should have power to inquire into acci-
dents, and frame regulations.
As for the latter desire, the fact is that regulations are
framed already, and the frames are nailed up at the
Stations, but officials do not observe them. Mr. Milner
Gibson utterly declined, on the part of Government, to
undertake the proposed responsibility. On the whole, we
incline to think that the best preventive of accidents which
has yet been discovered is the old but invaluable ma-
chine called the British J"ury. It frightens Directors into
something like vigilance. The machine is kept in a box,
and when properly Charged, it explodes with splendid effect,
and is in fact a tremendous fog-signal, for intimating to
mis-managers that something is wrong.
And now for “ Rule Britannia.”
The martial, naval, and majestic hymn having been
executed, and our minds having been brought into what
good Tony Lumpkin calls a “ concatenation ” accordingly,
Lord Clarence Paget introduced the Navy Estimates.
Never mind about the money—we must pay what Lord
Clarence asks—but let us see what we have got for the
money.
We have got (in addition to our Wooden Walls, in which
we are not to trust) Thirty Armour-Clad Ships, most ol
them ready, and the rest (save one—now then, Millwall,
wake up !) so forward that they can be ready to do slaughter
at Christmas.
We are to have, for this year, 69,750 men, 2,200 fewer
than last year; but fever men mean more officers, and
therefore better-served ships, in these days of science.
We are to have 7,000 boys—the same number as last
year.
We reduce the number of our Marines on shore, and
we knock off 500 men from the expensive Coast Guard.
Among the Thirty Tyrants of the Azure Main, we have
19 iron-plated Line-of-Battle Ships, 7 smaller ones, and I of
great value for defensive purposes.
We are to have Four Ships of tremendous speed, which
his Lordship described as “Four AlahamasP Ahsit omen.
We are to have a “really” sea-going vessel (there is a
history in tliat word “ really ”) on Captain Cowper Coles’s
principle.
We are to have new Docks for the new set of large
armour-clad Ships.
All that reads pleasantly, and if we add that we are
asked for £10,392,221 to pay for these things (some
£300,000 less than last year), Mr. Punch does not set the
fact down to damp satisfaction, for
“ Estimates never were designed
To make our pleasures less,”
but because business is business as well as pleasure.
A good deal was said in reply to Lord Clarence,
and Sir John Pakington declined to wear rose-coloured
spectacles, and had a many things to say against various
ships, and against Mr. Reed, the Government designer,
who. Sir John considered, had bewitched his employers—
they, like Sylvia, rejoicing in
“ Telling how, with eager speed,
They flew to hear the vocal Reed.”
Sir J. Elphinstone accused the Government of wasting
money over bad ships. We resumed the subject on Thurs-
day, and Sir Morton Peto was very severe on the Govern-
ment, and as to Mr. Reed, the Baronet said that the
appointment of that gentleman made _ him disbelieve in the
Duke oe Somerset, but what profanity may not be ex-
pected from a Dissenter, Mrs. Grundy f Sir Morton
appealed to Captain Sherard Osborn’s report in favour
of the Royal Sovereign, which is adapted to the Cowper-
Coles plan, and is stated to be the best ship in the navy.
So said Sir J. Hay', who declared that the country was not
in a proper state of defence. To all these charges Lord
Clarence replied, complained that Members picked up
gossip, quoted Admiral Dacres, who seems to have
commanded all the ships m the world, and thought
Vol. 48.
4—2