DOI Heft:
March 25, 1865
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16875#0123
March 25, 1865.]
PUNCH OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
115
PUNCH TO THE PRINCE OF WALES.
hear Prince,—It is of no use. iou can’t help it. ' They will do it.
I break their heads for you every now and then, but the Elunkeys and
the Toadies take a deal of punishment. You must bear it as well as you
can. I mean of course the being watched, and followed, and stared at.
incidents
served
in
clumsy paragraphs to indulge the vulgar curiosity of some, and to be made
useful as a puff for others. 1 know how you must detest all this, for you
have been educated as beseems a highborn gentleman, and your own
character and habits are at once frank and modest. But I assure you
once more that you must bear it. A cat may look at a king, and a toad
may look at a prince.
You cannot even take a bath without a paragraph being published recording that event, and telling us at what temperature you bathed,
and how you were graciously pleased to be soaped and towelled like any other gentleman. Bless you, my dear Prince, the scribblers won’t
stop at this. The system will become more and more offensive as you grow older, so you had better become pachydermatous at once. I
would say, don’t read the papers, but you must do that. It is very hard that you cannot be allowed to peruse an account of the fall of
Charleston, or of the death of the Porpoise, or of the flogging a garotter, without coming upon a statement that His Royal Highness the Prince
of Wales was graciously pleased, yesterday, to have his hair cut; but you must take one thing if you want the other.
Yes, my dear Prince, things will grow worse and worse, and so I tell you. Be prepared to read, from time to time, that His Royal Highness
the Prince of Wales always peels his oranges instead of cutting through peel and all, whereas Her Royal Highness the Princess of
Wales prefers the peel removed. That His Royal Highness, standing out of the rain at a keeper’s cottage, expressed great admiration of a
large cat on the rug, and that Her Royal Highness desired to have one of the next kittens. That your Royal Highness left your umbrella at
the Zoological Gardens, and was graciously pleased to accept the loan of one from Mr. Sawney Butter (a tradesman whose address
will be given), and that it was duly returned the same evening by a footman from Marlborough House. That Her Royal Highness often
amuses herself in an evening by looking through the beautiful photograph-book which was manufactured for Her Royal Highness by Messrs.
Gumm & Stickleback. That your Royal Highness has been most unjustifiably represented as having a bad cold, the fact being that you
happened to sneeze once or twice on Monday evening, from having taken a pinch of snuff out of a box which you accidentally found among
some old china. That Her Royal Highness takes cream with her coffee, and that cream is always placed near Her Royal Highness at breakfast,
in an. exquisite little silver churn, purchased of Messrs. Ichabod & Mephibosheth, the celebrated silversmiths. That your Royal High-
ness is not particularly partial to perfumes, and that the only one you really care about is the Ethereal Essence of Tiger Lilies, manufactured,
&c. That Her Royal Highness has been pleased to declare that the first instruction of His Royal Highness Prince Victor shall come
from herself, and has already procured an ivory alphabet to be ready for the interesting purpose. That your Royal Highness amused your
baby, one day during the frost, by tossing up snowballs at the nursery window, to the great delight of the royal child. That Her Royal Highness
nearly dropped her playbill over the edge of the box at the theatre the other night, but smilingly secured it against future peril by the agency
of a pin. That your Royal Highness is pleased to take occasional notice of the groom who brings your horse on a hunting-day, and on a recent
morning you made the remark, as you mounted, “ that the rain seemed likely to hold over.” That Her Royal Highness let her embroidery
needle fall, a few afternoons since, and that it may be mentioned, as a proof of Her Royal Highness’s consideration for her attendants, that
she picked it up herself, and calmly proceeded with her work. That your Royal Highness gave a shilling to a child who was crying on the
Duke of York’s steps because it had lost a penny, and that Her Royal Highness, who was with your Royal Highness, would not go on until
she had ascertained that the juvenile martyr was acquainted with the route to the residence of its parents.
Yes, I repeat it, my dear Prince, there will not be anything that an unaffected and kindhearted couple can do or say for many years to
come, but will be snapped up and made into a paragraph, especially if that paragraph can serve the purpose of a puff for somebody. I promise
you and the Princess that I will, as a celebrated Doctor from your Principality remarks, “ smite the noddles ” of as many Snobs, sinning
in this way, as I can, and where I can spoil their Puff-market, I will certainly do so. But the tribe is very large, perfectly shameless, and
exceedingly persevering, and moreover, there is a great lot of people who like to read such things, and who actually call them news. So you
must make up your mind to the worst, and must explain to the Princess that such scribbling is a trade, and that it is as much despised by
English ladies and gentlemen as it can be by yourselves.
Having thus acquitted myself of my duty as your Royal Highness’s Extra Privy Councillor, I have the honour to subscribe myself.
Your Royal Highness’s faithful Servant,
85, Fleet Street.
PUNCH OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
115
PUNCH TO THE PRINCE OF WALES.
hear Prince,—It is of no use. iou can’t help it. ' They will do it.
I break their heads for you every now and then, but the Elunkeys and
the Toadies take a deal of punishment. You must bear it as well as you
can. I mean of course the being watched, and followed, and stared at.
incidents
served
in
clumsy paragraphs to indulge the vulgar curiosity of some, and to be made
useful as a puff for others. 1 know how you must detest all this, for you
have been educated as beseems a highborn gentleman, and your own
character and habits are at once frank and modest. But I assure you
once more that you must bear it. A cat may look at a king, and a toad
may look at a prince.
You cannot even take a bath without a paragraph being published recording that event, and telling us at what temperature you bathed,
and how you were graciously pleased to be soaped and towelled like any other gentleman. Bless you, my dear Prince, the scribblers won’t
stop at this. The system will become more and more offensive as you grow older, so you had better become pachydermatous at once. I
would say, don’t read the papers, but you must do that. It is very hard that you cannot be allowed to peruse an account of the fall of
Charleston, or of the death of the Porpoise, or of the flogging a garotter, without coming upon a statement that His Royal Highness the Prince
of Wales was graciously pleased, yesterday, to have his hair cut; but you must take one thing if you want the other.
Yes, my dear Prince, things will grow worse and worse, and so I tell you. Be prepared to read, from time to time, that His Royal Highness
the Prince of Wales always peels his oranges instead of cutting through peel and all, whereas Her Royal Highness the Princess of
Wales prefers the peel removed. That His Royal Highness, standing out of the rain at a keeper’s cottage, expressed great admiration of a
large cat on the rug, and that Her Royal Highness desired to have one of the next kittens. That your Royal Highness left your umbrella at
the Zoological Gardens, and was graciously pleased to accept the loan of one from Mr. Sawney Butter (a tradesman whose address
will be given), and that it was duly returned the same evening by a footman from Marlborough House. That Her Royal Highness often
amuses herself in an evening by looking through the beautiful photograph-book which was manufactured for Her Royal Highness by Messrs.
Gumm & Stickleback. That your Royal Highness has been most unjustifiably represented as having a bad cold, the fact being that you
happened to sneeze once or twice on Monday evening, from having taken a pinch of snuff out of a box which you accidentally found among
some old china. That Her Royal Highness takes cream with her coffee, and that cream is always placed near Her Royal Highness at breakfast,
in an. exquisite little silver churn, purchased of Messrs. Ichabod & Mephibosheth, the celebrated silversmiths. That your Royal High-
ness is not particularly partial to perfumes, and that the only one you really care about is the Ethereal Essence of Tiger Lilies, manufactured,
&c. That Her Royal Highness has been pleased to declare that the first instruction of His Royal Highness Prince Victor shall come
from herself, and has already procured an ivory alphabet to be ready for the interesting purpose. That your Royal Highness amused your
baby, one day during the frost, by tossing up snowballs at the nursery window, to the great delight of the royal child. That Her Royal Highness
nearly dropped her playbill over the edge of the box at the theatre the other night, but smilingly secured it against future peril by the agency
of a pin. That your Royal Highness is pleased to take occasional notice of the groom who brings your horse on a hunting-day, and on a recent
morning you made the remark, as you mounted, “ that the rain seemed likely to hold over.” That Her Royal Highness let her embroidery
needle fall, a few afternoons since, and that it may be mentioned, as a proof of Her Royal Highness’s consideration for her attendants, that
she picked it up herself, and calmly proceeded with her work. That your Royal Highness gave a shilling to a child who was crying on the
Duke of York’s steps because it had lost a penny, and that Her Royal Highness, who was with your Royal Highness, would not go on until
she had ascertained that the juvenile martyr was acquainted with the route to the residence of its parents.
Yes, I repeat it, my dear Prince, there will not be anything that an unaffected and kindhearted couple can do or say for many years to
come, but will be snapped up and made into a paragraph, especially if that paragraph can serve the purpose of a puff for somebody. I promise
you and the Princess that I will, as a celebrated Doctor from your Principality remarks, “ smite the noddles ” of as many Snobs, sinning
in this way, as I can, and where I can spoil their Puff-market, I will certainly do so. But the tribe is very large, perfectly shameless, and
exceedingly persevering, and moreover, there is a great lot of people who like to read such things, and who actually call them news. So you
must make up your mind to the worst, and must explain to the Princess that such scribbling is a trade, and that it is as much despised by
English ladies and gentlemen as it can be by yourselves.
Having thus acquitted myself of my duty as your Royal Highness’s Extra Privy Councillor, I have the honour to subscribe myself.
Your Royal Highness’s faithful Servant,
85, Fleet Street.