DOI issue:
April 22, 1865
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16875#0167
April 22, 1865.1
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
159
AN EASTER OFFERING.
A SIGHT TOR A PARENT.
Mr. Punch,
Drat them boys dressin up like monks—monkeys, I say—in
cowls and frocks and no trousers, sandals without stockins, and beads,
and all that foolery, livin in a make-believe monastry, and callin them-
selves Eathers and Brothers. Raly them there Hanglican youth ort to
be looked arter playin at Roman Catholics. It is a very dangerous
amusement. Sir, honless practised hunder propper hoversite. Beeold
the consequences of pursooin sitch diversions to ixcess, exibited in this
here bit o news witch I cutt hout o the Mornin Post tuther day with
my sithers:—
“ Brother Ignatius.—Brother Ignatius and the brethren of the English order
of Saint Benedict have been observing Lent with extraordinary rigour, and have
fasted themselves into such a debilitated state that a day or two since Brother
Ignatius had to he carried out of chapel. Mrs. Lyne, his mother, is now in
Norwich, and insisted, it is understood, upon her son partaking of some substantial
refreshment which she caused to he prepared for him.”
Bless her art. I can feel for Ignashuses poor mother, seein wot a
livin skeletone her son was a makin of is self trying to go beyond
the papistes in keepin of Lent. I’m sure she must be a sensible ooman,
and I can well fancy her takin of im by the shoulders, or the cape of his
frock, and givviu im a good shake ana sayiu to him, “ Come, Jack,” or
Tom, or whatever his rale name is, “ bother that are bread-and-water
soop meager slops and sojers! now you sit down there direckly this
moment, I insist upon it, and tuck in that there rump stake and them
taters, and drink up that pot o stought. If you don’t set to and do as
I tells you, and take summut this minnit, I’ll box your ears. A ruin in
your constitution like that there stuff and nonsense.”
If Ignashus was my boy, and I cort im at hany of his monkey’s
tricks, blest if I woodn’t cram him as we does turkis at Xmas.
The Landry, April, 1865. Betsy Jones.
PROGRESS OP PHILANTHROPY.
Wanted in a Workhouse.—A Eirst-Rate Cook.
MYSTERIOUS ADVERTISEMENT.
Mr. Punch,
You know everything, trom Cabinet, secrets to Davenport
shams, from the earliest fossil to the latest fashion. Can you throw any
light on the following announcement ?—
pOST
FREE.
COILS OF SUNSHINE. 12 stamps.
What a bright idea! What a cheap and enlivening investment for
dingy days ! (Eor the meaning of the advertisement flashed across me
after I had given an additional stamp—with my foot—through vexation
at being beaten, but I shall not enlighten my race until I have heard from
you.) But are we not making too free with the sun? Photographers
have done their best to stare the daily luminary out of countenance,
irritating his spots, and appropriating his “ pencils ; ” and now some
audacious speculator is going to take the shine out of him, and drop it
into our letter-boxes in company with Infant Orphans, old Ports, and
densely-populated districts. Has the “Ray” Society any share in the
scheme? Will Stanley op Alderley allow it? Will he not rather
prohibit sunshine, along with fireworks (except squibs, if addressed to
85, Eleet Street), lucifer matches, paraffin, petroleum,and other combus-
tible articles ? If he does not, then our post will indeed be a pattern post.
But how can such an inflammable enclosure be secured ? What wax
has ever been manufactured that will not melt before it like butter on a
July morning? What envelopes, however adhesive, will submit to be
hot pressed in this way ? Untie me these knots, tor I am burning to
know what you think, especially as I have been startled by a shocking
report that the speculators, if they find themselves doing a good (sun)
stroke of business, intend to supply us with rolls of earthquake by
book-post; and rumours are rife of negotiations with the lessees of the
Milky Way, which, if successful, will enable the contractors so. to
plan it as to furnish Opera Companies, Theatres, Dinner and Evening
Parties with stars of any magnitude, in a twhakling, by the L. P. D. C.
Moonshine they do not propose to deal in, as that article may now be
had in unlimited quantities, and without the necessity of cash payments
The House of Commons, for instance, is illuminated with it nightly.
Yours respectably, Wynkyn de Chappe.
(
I
I
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
159
AN EASTER OFFERING.
A SIGHT TOR A PARENT.
Mr. Punch,
Drat them boys dressin up like monks—monkeys, I say—in
cowls and frocks and no trousers, sandals without stockins, and beads,
and all that foolery, livin in a make-believe monastry, and callin them-
selves Eathers and Brothers. Raly them there Hanglican youth ort to
be looked arter playin at Roman Catholics. It is a very dangerous
amusement. Sir, honless practised hunder propper hoversite. Beeold
the consequences of pursooin sitch diversions to ixcess, exibited in this
here bit o news witch I cutt hout o the Mornin Post tuther day with
my sithers:—
“ Brother Ignatius.—Brother Ignatius and the brethren of the English order
of Saint Benedict have been observing Lent with extraordinary rigour, and have
fasted themselves into such a debilitated state that a day or two since Brother
Ignatius had to he carried out of chapel. Mrs. Lyne, his mother, is now in
Norwich, and insisted, it is understood, upon her son partaking of some substantial
refreshment which she caused to he prepared for him.”
Bless her art. I can feel for Ignashuses poor mother, seein wot a
livin skeletone her son was a makin of is self trying to go beyond
the papistes in keepin of Lent. I’m sure she must be a sensible ooman,
and I can well fancy her takin of im by the shoulders, or the cape of his
frock, and givviu im a good shake ana sayiu to him, “ Come, Jack,” or
Tom, or whatever his rale name is, “ bother that are bread-and-water
soop meager slops and sojers! now you sit down there direckly this
moment, I insist upon it, and tuck in that there rump stake and them
taters, and drink up that pot o stought. If you don’t set to and do as
I tells you, and take summut this minnit, I’ll box your ears. A ruin in
your constitution like that there stuff and nonsense.”
If Ignashus was my boy, and I cort im at hany of his monkey’s
tricks, blest if I woodn’t cram him as we does turkis at Xmas.
The Landry, April, 1865. Betsy Jones.
PROGRESS OP PHILANTHROPY.
Wanted in a Workhouse.—A Eirst-Rate Cook.
MYSTERIOUS ADVERTISEMENT.
Mr. Punch,
You know everything, trom Cabinet, secrets to Davenport
shams, from the earliest fossil to the latest fashion. Can you throw any
light on the following announcement ?—
pOST
FREE.
COILS OF SUNSHINE. 12 stamps.
What a bright idea! What a cheap and enlivening investment for
dingy days ! (Eor the meaning of the advertisement flashed across me
after I had given an additional stamp—with my foot—through vexation
at being beaten, but I shall not enlighten my race until I have heard from
you.) But are we not making too free with the sun? Photographers
have done their best to stare the daily luminary out of countenance,
irritating his spots, and appropriating his “ pencils ; ” and now some
audacious speculator is going to take the shine out of him, and drop it
into our letter-boxes in company with Infant Orphans, old Ports, and
densely-populated districts. Has the “Ray” Society any share in the
scheme? Will Stanley op Alderley allow it? Will he not rather
prohibit sunshine, along with fireworks (except squibs, if addressed to
85, Eleet Street), lucifer matches, paraffin, petroleum,and other combus-
tible articles ? If he does not, then our post will indeed be a pattern post.
But how can such an inflammable enclosure be secured ? What wax
has ever been manufactured that will not melt before it like butter on a
July morning? What envelopes, however adhesive, will submit to be
hot pressed in this way ? Untie me these knots, tor I am burning to
know what you think, especially as I have been startled by a shocking
report that the speculators, if they find themselves doing a good (sun)
stroke of business, intend to supply us with rolls of earthquake by
book-post; and rumours are rife of negotiations with the lessees of the
Milky Way, which, if successful, will enable the contractors so. to
plan it as to furnish Opera Companies, Theatres, Dinner and Evening
Parties with stars of any magnitude, in a twhakling, by the L. P. D. C.
Moonshine they do not propose to deal in, as that article may now be
had in unlimited quantities, and without the necessity of cash payments
The House of Commons, for instance, is illuminated with it nightly.
Yours respectably, Wynkyn de Chappe.
(
I
I