DOI issue:
May 13, 1865
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16875#0206
198 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. IMay 13, 1865;
APPALLING DISCOVERY.
Algernon calls (with a Lovely Bouquet) on the Darling oe his Heart. Overcome by the Noontide Heat, she softly
slumbers. He gazes on her for awhile, spell-bound in respectful emotion, when suddenly she begins to—-Yes !—No !—
Yes !—to .... SNORE ! ! !
EXCITING CONTEST AT CAMBRIDGE.
.By the time these words are published, an interesting: competition
will have been decided in the Senate House of the University of
Cambridge. A valuable prize will have been contested by no less than
nine Clergymen, and the contest of the “ sacred nine,” if it verify the
anticipation expressed in “University Intelligence,” will have been “a
sharp one.” The bone, so to speak, of contention, which will have
been borne off by one of those reverend divines, is, as a native of the
Emerald Isle might say, a bit of fat. It is a bone that has a consider-
able quantity of meat on it, being the Rectory of Ovington, a living
whereof the gross value is £136, with a house, whilst its population is
only 400 ; so that the winner of it will find himself in the comfortable
circumstances of liberal remuneration with little to do.
Not for a moment, however, must it be supposed that the love of
ease and .idleness has had any influence whatever in pitting nine holy
men against each other in a sharp contest for the valuable and unex-
actin.g Rectory of Ovington. The sphere of usefulness constituted by
a living that comprises. only 400 souls, is physically limited; but its!
very limitation in a physical sense allows of so intense a devotedness to
the cure ot those souls as to render it capable of indefinite moral and
spiritual expansion. Put the nett value of Ovington Rectory at £400
a equal, to the figure of the population; the souls would be curable
at £L per anirnam per annum: and, if the souls were so cured as they
ought to be, that would hardly be too higli a rate for the cure of them.
Suppose, however, that the souls of the Ovington people do not want
much curing, the appointment to cure them would be a comparative
sinecure. But then its zealous and industrious holder might devote the
leisure it would afford him to the cultivation of learning, to the confu-
tation of Popery and Dissent, the dissipation of doubt, and the recon-1
enement ot theology with the natural sciences. Therefore, if we cannot
exactly ascribe the hard struggle of those nine candidates for the
Rectorship ot Ovington to the ardent desire that spiritual physicians
might leel to concentrate their energies on a small and select practice,
let us refer it to earnest wishes for scope to advance the science of their
profession.
The living of Ovington appears to imply long life, for the late
incumbent, the Rev. Edward Simons, held it fifty-four years. Mr.
Simons, without any Simony, won it in 1810 against Dr. Blomfield,
late Bishop of London, who, if he had become the incumbent of such
a snug benefice, might perhaps have been seriously inclined to say
Nolo episcopari. The certainty of an income above £400 a year, and
therewith the necessity of labour restricted to the obligation of minis-
tering to a population so moderate as one not exceeding that number
of pounds, are conditions which may be conceived to be eminently
favourable to longevity. That is to say, in the case of a reverend
bachelor; though many a curate, having married on £100 a year, would
doubtless regard Ovington as a Paradise that would need to be by no
means exclusive of an Eve.
To the foregoing remarks we may venture to add a positive contra-
diction of the statement that the nine reverend competitors for the
Rectory of Ovington, contended for presentation to that uncommonly
good living by the exertion of jumping in surplices. That is a way in
which the race for Church preferment could be run, or even thought of
being run, only by the most extreme professors of muscular Christianity.
The candidates vie with one another in good works, and the best man
and best scholar invariably wins. So especially considering the age
which Mr. Simons attained to, we may say “ Long life to the winner of
Ovington! ”
Hand and Foot.
In the shop-window of a disciple of St. Crispin who is established in
a suburban district, there was lately displayed the following notifica-
tion :—
“ Very large Assortment of Gents’ Patent Dress Boots always on Hand."
A customer of the species called “ rum ” might be disposed to ask
the profi'erer of these boots, whether they do not every one fit like a
glove ?
APPALLING DISCOVERY.
Algernon calls (with a Lovely Bouquet) on the Darling oe his Heart. Overcome by the Noontide Heat, she softly
slumbers. He gazes on her for awhile, spell-bound in respectful emotion, when suddenly she begins to—-Yes !—No !—
Yes !—to .... SNORE ! ! !
EXCITING CONTEST AT CAMBRIDGE.
.By the time these words are published, an interesting: competition
will have been decided in the Senate House of the University of
Cambridge. A valuable prize will have been contested by no less than
nine Clergymen, and the contest of the “ sacred nine,” if it verify the
anticipation expressed in “University Intelligence,” will have been “a
sharp one.” The bone, so to speak, of contention, which will have
been borne off by one of those reverend divines, is, as a native of the
Emerald Isle might say, a bit of fat. It is a bone that has a consider-
able quantity of meat on it, being the Rectory of Ovington, a living
whereof the gross value is £136, with a house, whilst its population is
only 400 ; so that the winner of it will find himself in the comfortable
circumstances of liberal remuneration with little to do.
Not for a moment, however, must it be supposed that the love of
ease and .idleness has had any influence whatever in pitting nine holy
men against each other in a sharp contest for the valuable and unex-
actin.g Rectory of Ovington. The sphere of usefulness constituted by
a living that comprises. only 400 souls, is physically limited; but its!
very limitation in a physical sense allows of so intense a devotedness to
the cure ot those souls as to render it capable of indefinite moral and
spiritual expansion. Put the nett value of Ovington Rectory at £400
a equal, to the figure of the population; the souls would be curable
at £L per anirnam per annum: and, if the souls were so cured as they
ought to be, that would hardly be too higli a rate for the cure of them.
Suppose, however, that the souls of the Ovington people do not want
much curing, the appointment to cure them would be a comparative
sinecure. But then its zealous and industrious holder might devote the
leisure it would afford him to the cultivation of learning, to the confu-
tation of Popery and Dissent, the dissipation of doubt, and the recon-1
enement ot theology with the natural sciences. Therefore, if we cannot
exactly ascribe the hard struggle of those nine candidates for the
Rectorship ot Ovington to the ardent desire that spiritual physicians
might leel to concentrate their energies on a small and select practice,
let us refer it to earnest wishes for scope to advance the science of their
profession.
The living of Ovington appears to imply long life, for the late
incumbent, the Rev. Edward Simons, held it fifty-four years. Mr.
Simons, without any Simony, won it in 1810 against Dr. Blomfield,
late Bishop of London, who, if he had become the incumbent of such
a snug benefice, might perhaps have been seriously inclined to say
Nolo episcopari. The certainty of an income above £400 a year, and
therewith the necessity of labour restricted to the obligation of minis-
tering to a population so moderate as one not exceeding that number
of pounds, are conditions which may be conceived to be eminently
favourable to longevity. That is to say, in the case of a reverend
bachelor; though many a curate, having married on £100 a year, would
doubtless regard Ovington as a Paradise that would need to be by no
means exclusive of an Eve.
To the foregoing remarks we may venture to add a positive contra-
diction of the statement that the nine reverend competitors for the
Rectory of Ovington, contended for presentation to that uncommonly
good living by the exertion of jumping in surplices. That is a way in
which the race for Church preferment could be run, or even thought of
being run, only by the most extreme professors of muscular Christianity.
The candidates vie with one another in good works, and the best man
and best scholar invariably wins. So especially considering the age
which Mr. Simons attained to, we may say “ Long life to the winner of
Ovington! ”
Hand and Foot.
In the shop-window of a disciple of St. Crispin who is established in
a suburban district, there was lately displayed the following notifica-
tion :—
“ Very large Assortment of Gents’ Patent Dress Boots always on Hand."
A customer of the species called “ rum ” might be disposed to ask
the profi'erer of these boots, whether they do not every one fit like a
glove ?