DOI issue:
October 9, 1869
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16884#0149
October 9, 1869.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
THE EMPEROR AND THE PRESS.
Who can wonder that the Emperor respects the liberty of the press ?
This is how Erench journals comment on his recent illness :—
" It is with ineffable delight we nan apprise our anxious readers that
the slight indisposition which the Emperor has suffered has definitely
taken a most favourable turn. His Majesty last night enjoyed_ at
least an hour of uninterrupted sleep, partly owing to an opiate which
the skilful M. Nelaton had prudently prescribed. Refreshed by this
unusual period of repose, the Imperial Convalescent, as we happily
may call him, has found himself robust enough to walk about his
chamber for upwards of five minutes, without the least fatigue. _ Such
unwonted exercise occasioned, as was natural, a good appetite for
dinner, when His Majesty consumed the greater portion of a biscuit,
and washed it down a, l'Anglaise with a cup of warm weak tea."—Le
Gobemouche.
" We learn on credible authority that at an early hour last evening
the Emperor sneezed three times before he went to bed. This momen-
tous circumstance has naturally caused great agitation on the Bourse,
and Bentes before mid-day declined as much as five centimes. How-
ever, in the afternoon things wore a brighter aspect, a report having
gained ground, mainly owing, it is said, to operators for a rise, that the
sneezes were occasioned by a pinch of snuff."—UOurs Financier.
" Anxious though we are to allay the apprehension which publicly
prevails on the all-engrossing subject of the Imperial health, truth
obliges us to mention that the death of Napoleon the Fiest oc-
curred as wc all know in his fifty-second year. His four brothers,
it is true, lived longer than himself, and two of them attained the
somewhat advanced age of more than five-and-seventy years. Longevity
is therefore not uncommon in the family. Still Napoleon the Third,
we must remember, is a fatalist, and the frequent reflection on the
death of near relations is naturally likely to shorten any life."—Le
Frelon Bordelais.
"It rejoices us to learn that his Majesty the Emperor has so far
regained the health which is so precious to us all, that he is able to
resume his literary labours, and is making daily progress with his fa-
vourite romance. We allude to his so famous Histoire de Cesar, whereof
the second volume was scarcely a success. The mere fact that he is
able to take a pen in hand, and turn his thoughts to any subject than
himself (if His Majesty indeed can be regarded as a subject) will be
hailed throughout the Empire as of favourable import, and will no
doubt allay the feverish excitement of the Bourse. We must, how-
ever, add that the Imperial Convalescent still suffers such debility that |
he has barely strength to dot an "i" or cross a "t." He writes]
propped up by pillows, having his hand guided by his faithful private
secretary, and resting from his labours after every long word."—Le
Babillard Quotidien.
" It may be definitely stated that the Emperor next Wednesday
will proceed to either Biarritz, or Yichy, or Dieppe, where the saline,
or rural, breezes we trust will soon restore his slightly shattered con-
stitution, and permit him to resume his useful labours for the State, j
That we have ample grounds for making this announcement will be
apparent when we state that M. Nelaton was yesterday discovered in
the act of examining the 'marche des trains' of certain railways,
leading to the restorative places we have named." — Le Menteur
Universel.
"The Emperor this morning smoked three whiffs of a cigar. This
is a convincing sign of his amendment, and it may be asserted, with-
out fear of contradiction, that the prophecies of the alarmists have had
an end in smoke."—Petit Journal des Niais.
"The Imperial invalid is rapidly recovering, and, if there be no
relapse (though this is common in such cases), his sanguine friends
may hope to hear ere long of his removal for awhile to the sea-side.
That this long-expected journey is still regarded by his household as a
possible event, may be gathered from the fact that Monsieur X. has
had instructions to supply a new bath-chair, adapted for the beach.
We learn, too, that the Emperor's travelling carriage has been fitted
with spring cushions, and the lock of his portmanteau has been recently
well greased.—La Guepe Gauloise.
More Waves.
Strange to say, a paragraph that has appeared in the paper, with
the heading " Waves of Sickness," says not a word about the incon-
venience too many suffer in crossing the Channel. This is the more ex-
traordinary, because it tells us that " the summer wave of sickness then
[about the first week in June] sets in and rises rapidly, attaining its
summit in August, which has shown itself the most sickly month of
the year." The paragraph in question has reference to the parish of
Islington, but how there can be waves of any kind at Islington, of all
places in the world, is not easy to understand.
OCCASIONAL SONNETS.
xvii.—at a fashionable and ferruginous watering-fl^ce.
We tread historic ground : this quaint parade
In song and story holds a famous place ;
Along its walk, beneath its Colonnade,
Around its crystal Spring, with easy pace
The beau, the beauty, and the burly sage—
Johnson's huge form and Chudleigh's dangerous face,
Great Nash, and he, the darling of our stage,
Garrick, all wit, vivacity and grace—
Have passed, in awful wig and stiff brocade,
In patch and powder, pearly lawn and lace,
To taste these waters, lounge beneath the shade
Of these old limes and gossip round their base,
Or buy, as I shall ere I go away,
This dainty ware with delicate inlay.
xviii.—to a highly intelligent dog.
Not for thy royal name, borne long ago
By him the bravest of thy country's kings ;
Not for thy wakeful care to which we owe
Immunity from perils darkness brings ;
Nor yet because thy faithful spirit cheers
My melancholy hours, when the world is strange,
Unflagging (as thy feud with cats) these years,
And not now likely to experience change :—
Eor these thy merits (prized by me), dear dog,
I would not vaunt ihee to this frigid age,
Nor ask. of Punch thy name to catalogue
With those immortals who illume his page ;
But—and bards to come thy praises will repeat—
Eor howling, Bruce, at organs in the street.
QUOD MELIUS.
Perhaps, some time hence, in hot weather, Poor Law Guardians
will advertise for tenders to supply workhouses with ice. Chocolate
and sardines will be allowed for breakfast, good sound claret will be
the ordinary beverage at dinner, and there will be a smoking-room
where those who like can have a cigar with seltzer-water and brandy
afterwards. On Christmas-day, and other high festivals, mock-turtle
soup will be replaced with real—in the richer unions. There is no
saying how comfortable workhouses will not be made when people
in general shall really come to love their neighbour as themselves—
out of Church.
In the meantime a ticket-of-leave man goes before a Magistrate at
Greenwich, and charges himself with having broken the conditions of
his licence by not reporting himself monthly to the police. Let out of
Millbank he had first gone to sea, then had travelled all over the
country, seeking work and finding none. Threatened with starvation,
he had before him the choice of the workhouse or the prison. He
petitioned the Magistrate to send him back to Millbank. But the
Magistrate decided that he had not infringed the Habitual Criminals
Act. He had failed to qualify himself for Millbank. There was no place
for him but the workhouse ; this undeserver had not merited the gaol.
Now the dietary of a gaol does not at present consist of three meals
a-day ; the chief of them a dinner with three courses and a dessert, in
addition to meat, when meat is given, there is no soup and fish, nor
any pudding, nor is Champagne ever introduced at table ; the very
kitchen wines are absent, and their place is not even supplied by bitter
ale. It is almost needless to say that, on the removal of the cloth, no
rose-water ever goes round. Clearly, therefore, a prison is an abode far
from luxurious. What, then, must a workhouse be, when a prison is
preferred to it by a man who knows what a prison is? Such a place
that the fear of it must needs make every but a very conscientious
poor person resolve to keep out of it as long as he can, honestly if
possible, if not, by crime.
A Serenade for Some People.
Off the name of the Dead,
When a writer makes bread,
Such a living is foul,
Such a writer a Ghoul.
a hint.
At the Social Congress an enormous paper, by Mr. Macfie, M.P.,
proved to be so irrelevant to the subject in hand, that the meeting
unanimously caused it to be shut up. What a pity the Assembly
which Mr. Macfie adorns does not treat all irrelevant addresses io
the above way. LLansard would become portable—almost readable.
Vol. 57.
*
5—2
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
THE EMPEROR AND THE PRESS.
Who can wonder that the Emperor respects the liberty of the press ?
This is how Erench journals comment on his recent illness :—
" It is with ineffable delight we nan apprise our anxious readers that
the slight indisposition which the Emperor has suffered has definitely
taken a most favourable turn. His Majesty last night enjoyed_ at
least an hour of uninterrupted sleep, partly owing to an opiate which
the skilful M. Nelaton had prudently prescribed. Refreshed by this
unusual period of repose, the Imperial Convalescent, as we happily
may call him, has found himself robust enough to walk about his
chamber for upwards of five minutes, without the least fatigue. _ Such
unwonted exercise occasioned, as was natural, a good appetite for
dinner, when His Majesty consumed the greater portion of a biscuit,
and washed it down a, l'Anglaise with a cup of warm weak tea."—Le
Gobemouche.
" We learn on credible authority that at an early hour last evening
the Emperor sneezed three times before he went to bed. This momen-
tous circumstance has naturally caused great agitation on the Bourse,
and Bentes before mid-day declined as much as five centimes. How-
ever, in the afternoon things wore a brighter aspect, a report having
gained ground, mainly owing, it is said, to operators for a rise, that the
sneezes were occasioned by a pinch of snuff."—UOurs Financier.
" Anxious though we are to allay the apprehension which publicly
prevails on the all-engrossing subject of the Imperial health, truth
obliges us to mention that the death of Napoleon the Fiest oc-
curred as wc all know in his fifty-second year. His four brothers,
it is true, lived longer than himself, and two of them attained the
somewhat advanced age of more than five-and-seventy years. Longevity
is therefore not uncommon in the family. Still Napoleon the Third,
we must remember, is a fatalist, and the frequent reflection on the
death of near relations is naturally likely to shorten any life."—Le
Frelon Bordelais.
"It rejoices us to learn that his Majesty the Emperor has so far
regained the health which is so precious to us all, that he is able to
resume his literary labours, and is making daily progress with his fa-
vourite romance. We allude to his so famous Histoire de Cesar, whereof
the second volume was scarcely a success. The mere fact that he is
able to take a pen in hand, and turn his thoughts to any subject than
himself (if His Majesty indeed can be regarded as a subject) will be
hailed throughout the Empire as of favourable import, and will no
doubt allay the feverish excitement of the Bourse. We must, how-
ever, add that the Imperial Convalescent still suffers such debility that |
he has barely strength to dot an "i" or cross a "t." He writes]
propped up by pillows, having his hand guided by his faithful private
secretary, and resting from his labours after every long word."—Le
Babillard Quotidien.
" It may be definitely stated that the Emperor next Wednesday
will proceed to either Biarritz, or Yichy, or Dieppe, where the saline,
or rural, breezes we trust will soon restore his slightly shattered con-
stitution, and permit him to resume his useful labours for the State, j
That we have ample grounds for making this announcement will be
apparent when we state that M. Nelaton was yesterday discovered in
the act of examining the 'marche des trains' of certain railways,
leading to the restorative places we have named." — Le Menteur
Universel.
"The Emperor this morning smoked three whiffs of a cigar. This
is a convincing sign of his amendment, and it may be asserted, with-
out fear of contradiction, that the prophecies of the alarmists have had
an end in smoke."—Petit Journal des Niais.
"The Imperial invalid is rapidly recovering, and, if there be no
relapse (though this is common in such cases), his sanguine friends
may hope to hear ere long of his removal for awhile to the sea-side.
That this long-expected journey is still regarded by his household as a
possible event, may be gathered from the fact that Monsieur X. has
had instructions to supply a new bath-chair, adapted for the beach.
We learn, too, that the Emperor's travelling carriage has been fitted
with spring cushions, and the lock of his portmanteau has been recently
well greased.—La Guepe Gauloise.
More Waves.
Strange to say, a paragraph that has appeared in the paper, with
the heading " Waves of Sickness," says not a word about the incon-
venience too many suffer in crossing the Channel. This is the more ex-
traordinary, because it tells us that " the summer wave of sickness then
[about the first week in June] sets in and rises rapidly, attaining its
summit in August, which has shown itself the most sickly month of
the year." The paragraph in question has reference to the parish of
Islington, but how there can be waves of any kind at Islington, of all
places in the world, is not easy to understand.
OCCASIONAL SONNETS.
xvii.—at a fashionable and ferruginous watering-fl^ce.
We tread historic ground : this quaint parade
In song and story holds a famous place ;
Along its walk, beneath its Colonnade,
Around its crystal Spring, with easy pace
The beau, the beauty, and the burly sage—
Johnson's huge form and Chudleigh's dangerous face,
Great Nash, and he, the darling of our stage,
Garrick, all wit, vivacity and grace—
Have passed, in awful wig and stiff brocade,
In patch and powder, pearly lawn and lace,
To taste these waters, lounge beneath the shade
Of these old limes and gossip round their base,
Or buy, as I shall ere I go away,
This dainty ware with delicate inlay.
xviii.—to a highly intelligent dog.
Not for thy royal name, borne long ago
By him the bravest of thy country's kings ;
Not for thy wakeful care to which we owe
Immunity from perils darkness brings ;
Nor yet because thy faithful spirit cheers
My melancholy hours, when the world is strange,
Unflagging (as thy feud with cats) these years,
And not now likely to experience change :—
Eor these thy merits (prized by me), dear dog,
I would not vaunt ihee to this frigid age,
Nor ask. of Punch thy name to catalogue
With those immortals who illume his page ;
But—and bards to come thy praises will repeat—
Eor howling, Bruce, at organs in the street.
QUOD MELIUS.
Perhaps, some time hence, in hot weather, Poor Law Guardians
will advertise for tenders to supply workhouses with ice. Chocolate
and sardines will be allowed for breakfast, good sound claret will be
the ordinary beverage at dinner, and there will be a smoking-room
where those who like can have a cigar with seltzer-water and brandy
afterwards. On Christmas-day, and other high festivals, mock-turtle
soup will be replaced with real—in the richer unions. There is no
saying how comfortable workhouses will not be made when people
in general shall really come to love their neighbour as themselves—
out of Church.
In the meantime a ticket-of-leave man goes before a Magistrate at
Greenwich, and charges himself with having broken the conditions of
his licence by not reporting himself monthly to the police. Let out of
Millbank he had first gone to sea, then had travelled all over the
country, seeking work and finding none. Threatened with starvation,
he had before him the choice of the workhouse or the prison. He
petitioned the Magistrate to send him back to Millbank. But the
Magistrate decided that he had not infringed the Habitual Criminals
Act. He had failed to qualify himself for Millbank. There was no place
for him but the workhouse ; this undeserver had not merited the gaol.
Now the dietary of a gaol does not at present consist of three meals
a-day ; the chief of them a dinner with three courses and a dessert, in
addition to meat, when meat is given, there is no soup and fish, nor
any pudding, nor is Champagne ever introduced at table ; the very
kitchen wines are absent, and their place is not even supplied by bitter
ale. It is almost needless to say that, on the removal of the cloth, no
rose-water ever goes round. Clearly, therefore, a prison is an abode far
from luxurious. What, then, must a workhouse be, when a prison is
preferred to it by a man who knows what a prison is? Such a place
that the fear of it must needs make every but a very conscientious
poor person resolve to keep out of it as long as he can, honestly if
possible, if not, by crime.
A Serenade for Some People.
Off the name of the Dead,
When a writer makes bread,
Such a living is foul,
Such a writer a Ghoul.
a hint.
At the Social Congress an enormous paper, by Mr. Macfie, M.P.,
proved to be so irrelevant to the subject in hand, that the meeting
unanimously caused it to be shut up. What a pity the Assembly
which Mr. Macfie adorns does not treat all irrelevant addresses io
the above way. LLansard would become portable—almost readable.
Vol. 57.
*
5—2