Punch (59.1870)

42 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [Joly 23, i»70.

"PREPARE TO RESIST CAVALRY ! ' (WIMBLEDON, 1870.)

Orderly (to strange, Shoeblack). "Now, then, what Business a' you here !?"

Shoeblack (fiercely). " Business? ! "Why, ain't I got a Contrao' with Gov'ment to Black all yer Boots I !?"

[Orderly retreats.

FASHIONABLE FORGERY.

In the midst ot the dread tidinas which the correspondents havejately
been sending us from Paris, ir, is pleasant to find somebody writing
thence to tell us something of the fashions. To divert our thoughts
from matters more tremendous, we are considerately informed of these

diverting fact.s:—

" Golden hair is still in great request, and dyes are largely used in order to
procure the fashionable colour."

So that " auri sacra fames " now is not felt merely on the Bourse ;
and, were Horace's old fiarne, the "tfava Chloe," now in France, her
hair would be the envy of the fashionable world. In order to look
killing, ladies dye themselves; and, doubtless, would wear green hair
just as readily as golden, if fashion so decreed. Such she-pirates do
not scruple to sail under false colours, and forge a head as quickly as a
ship in a strong tideway. For what is changing black or grey to gold
but a fashionable forgery, which surely should be treated as a capital
offence F Such fair culprits fairly deserve to lose their heads, or, at all
events, their chignons, which they would, doubtless, part with as un-
willingly as they would lose their heads. It is no shame to a woman
to be seen wearing a little silver in her hair; but she is an offender
against the laws of Nature, if she takes to forgery, and tries to wear
false gold in it.

A Word to the "Wise.

(When our Collective Wisdom has sanctioned Female voting.)

Would you gain the tender creature,
With soft sawder you must treat her,

Honied words may win her heart:
Ladies fair a vote possessing,
Sadly may misuse the blessing,

Be they not cajoled with art.

BEETHOVEN IN BAD COMPANY.

There has been a " Beethoven Festival" at New York, in which
the majestic music of the mighty master seems to have been set off by
inter-mezzi of Offenbachian and Nigger melody with a daring defiance
of high-art, purism and propriety, which, however John Bull might
have enjoyed it, only Jonathan Bull is bold enough to venture upon.

Among these lively interludes was included (according to one report)
the singing of a song from La Grande Duchesse, by Mrs. Howard Paul,
" in character."

We do not wonder that the lady should have written to contradict
this report. We call special attention to the passage of her contradic-
tion in which she declares " that no song or piece was given ' in
character' by any artiste engaged."

We should think this in the highest degree probable. The whole
festival seems to have been " out of character," alike in the case of the
executants and the audience.

A Song for a French Salon.

Air—" In Native Worth."

By active Worth superbly clad,
With diamonds and pearls adorned,

She drives les petits creves mad,

When for a valse their hand is scorned.

Heard at Lord's.
" Were you at Eton, or Harrow ? "

" No, my education wasn't neglected to that extent. Why do you
ask ? Any bad English in the note I sent you ? "

[Counter-check quarrelsome to an epigram on which our dear boys seem
to plume themselves.