Punch (59.1870)

G2

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [August 6. 1870

DELIGHTFUL FOR UNCLE TOM

(who has not the "acquired taste " for children, and has ju3t arrived, hot and tired, and very late for dinner).

Nephew. "0 Uncle ! we've come to help you Dress, and Baby"s comtng too, and we've brofght the new Puppies to Show

yop, and Mamma says Dinner will be Ready in Five Minutes ! "

PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

Monday, July 2otk, and a very Black Monday for sundry. A sensa-
tion was prepared for us all by the Times newspaper. With our
breakfasts this morning was served to us a French dish called a
Projet de Traite, and no one will say that it was not full-flavoured.
We were presented with a document purporting to be the basis of a
treaty, proffered in 1866 (the war-year) by France to Prussia. There
were five articles:—1. France was to recognise the conquests of
Prussia. 2. Prussia was to promise to help France to Luxembourg,
by putting the screw on Belgium. 3 France was to assent to a union
of North and South Germany, excepting Austria. 4. Prussia was to
help France to acquire Belgium. 5. 't he two Powers were to form a
league, offensive and defensive, against ail the world.

What Tom Moore wrote about the effect produced on a certain
assembly by the proposal for whipping the naughty little Grand Lama
(by whom Charles the First was typified), will do again :—

" When this was read, no Congreve rocket
Discharged into the Gallic trenches,
E'er equalled the tremendous shock it
Produced on ' Parliamentary ' benches."

Of course, the first question was, " Is it genuine ? " Ministers were
interrogated in both Houses, and their answer was, that the document
had taken them by surprise, and that there was no doubt that the
spontaneous action of the Powers to whom the plot was imputed would
clear up the matter. " Clumsy forgery," said French partisans. " No
Frenchman could have written it, because it is not in good French,"
said small critics. " But the Emperor and Benedetti are Corsicans,
and neither writes very good French—the former made a grammatical
blunder in his last proclamation," was the rejonder. However, we
waited for authorised explanation, and it comes to this, dear brethren.
There is no doubt that some such terms were suggested, and that the
project fell to the ground. Whether Count Bismarck, craftily led

M. B enedetti to offer them, or whether they proceeded originally from
the French mind, does not seem of great consequence. Our beloved
friends, France and Prussia, were discussing such things, in secret,
and the fact speaks marvellously welt for the Morals of both Govern-
ments. That the burglarious plan was not carried out, was an accident,
and neither side can claim credit on that score. If A. talks to B. about
plundering C.'s house, and for some reason (perhaps because his friends
and neighbours D. and E. have an unpleasant habit of firing revolvers
at burglars), C.'s house is not broken into, we know what to think of
B. for listening to the proposal, and not proclaiming it to the world,
and kicking A. " The fierce light that beats upon a throne" was
carefully excluded, but the curtains have been torn down, and two
thrones look very shabby in the sunshine.

Now, of course, it is the business of A. and B. to persuade E. and
the rest of the alphabet that no such thing was ever really contem-
plated. How far they have succeeded in convincing J. and his ever
vigilant and faithful friend P., may be discerned in a Cartoon upon
auother page. Neutral, your Majesty Queen V. ? Yes, indeed.
" We shall in all our best obey you, Madam." We are neutral enough,

and intend to be--at present. Look at the picture, Lady. As

Francis Quarles says—

" Is not that type well cut ? In every part
Filled with rich cunning, and with Zeuxian art ? "

Mr. Punch is not to be hood-winked. He has warned A., and he has
exposed A. and B., and he has a whole Gallery of Illustration in hand.
Meantime, let us watch events, and be quite prepared to hear, at no
distant date, that A. and B., after they have deluged Europe with as
much blood as is required by honour, have come to terms not unlike

those in the Projet de Traite. In which case-- but sufficient for the

day is the Crime thereof.

To-night, Earl de Grey and Ripon elaborately expounded the
Education Bill to the Lords, and it was received well, and read a
Second Time. Lord Shaftesbury thought it not unworthy of the