Punch: Punch (60.1871)

January 7, 1871.]

PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

AMUSEMENTS AND ANNOUNCEMENTS!

ur country cousins
f I who happen to visit
J London at this
f season, should go
*w to London Bridge
and watch the Yule
air tide ehb and flow.
|s[ The entry of the

New Year and the
SBs? exit of the Old
Mr Year (not so very
» aged, only one year
j old) were, we trust,
; i witnessed hy all
from various
points. It is too
late now to guide
the stranger; but
next year don't
forget to remind
|[ 1 |L '^C^E^jjv^^^^^^ \^ M us in lime.

~~£ —7ft* ^ xr^SsT^^^ M ^amuse"

Ml tfMfi m jSkfiT sSl V - ments, the uncles

\ J "sL j^^^^^^^^ti^^^r and aunts, mam-

/(hi / Kg-1** --1 mas and grand-

^T^fjK— v^1-!^ /__' \ mammas, can't do

q. **>7 (y** ^5^1-_______—-~ better than take

~* --__r=__—___=-* the children to the

Museum in Lin-

coln's-Inn-Fields. If you happen to live near -Regent's Park,
take them to the Colosseum, and expatiate upon its past glories.
The entertainment that used to be there can be left to their imagina-
tion ; and this will save money.

The Statues in the Squares can be seen for nothing, when there's
no fog.

On Sundays the Gallery of Illustration is a devotional place. The
IIev. T. German Reed (he's no more German than you are French)
preaches, and the organ is played by the Junior Deacon, the Rev.
Cornelius Grain. It is (by permission of the Bishop oe London
and the Lord Chamberlain) now used as a Chapel of Ease to St.
James's, where the Christy Missionaries address overflowing congre-
gations during the week days.

On Saturdays, between twelve and tlu'ee, the stage-door of Drury
Lane is much frequented by the Loungers in London. The Clown
walks out in ordinary everyday costume at this hour. It is not
generally known. He usually lies down in front of the doorway and
allows Mr. Chatterton to tumble over him. No extra charge.

During the dark evenings there will be a considerable amount
of Pane practice in the streets by members of the Undetected Force.

The Crystal Palace has a Serious Pantomime, in keeping with the
Religious Solemnities which inaugurated the opening of the Syden-
ham Temple.

Mr. E. T. Smith is (in time) to be made a Minor Canon of St.
Paul's. The Rev. E. P. Liddon, we believe, does not object to the
appointment.

Talking of Ecclesiastical matters, the ceremony of granting the
Annual Licence to Canterbury Hall by the Archbishop oe Canter-
bury will be as imposing as ever.

Lord Sydney, in his official costume as Chamberlain, will review
the Entire Corps de Ballet of London in Leicester Square. Due
Notice will be given.

There is a new piece being played at the St. James's Theatre,
called Bombastes Furioso. It is not from the French. It is sup-
posed to have some political meaning, no other reason having been
assigned for its production.

A Court Theatre is to be opened in Sloane Street. "We have not
heard which Court it is in. There will soon be an opposition esta-
blishment entitled the Alley Theatre, with performances in the
vulgar tongue.

Seasonable Reading-.

Don't burn the newspapers containing accounts of " The Weather
and the Parks." Keep them to refer to in the Dog-Days ; when
they will be cool and pleasant reading. The records of last Sum-
mer's drought might just now help—for all that Shakspeare says—
an imaginative person to get warm.

something new.

All poets, it seems, are not poor. It is a welcome change to read
of The Riches of Chaucer.

-;—:-r

Advice to Gourmets.—Dine with the Fishmongers' Company ;
tfoev will warm the cockles of your heart.

TO PERSONS ABOUT TO ASK FOR CHEQUES.

The following letter appears in the Daily News :—

"Sir,—Are your readers aware that on and after the 1st January cheques
payable to order are subject to an ad valorem stamp duty as bills of exchange ?
The new Stamp Act, 33 and 34 Vic, cap. 97, so provides.—A City
Solicitor."

This letter raises a most important question, and until it is settled
no right-minded person will think of signing a cheque. The "City
Solicitor " may be accurate, or in error, but the point must be cleared
up. It would be wronging one's Sovereign to defraud the revenue,
it would be wronging one's Family to pay more stamp-duty than the
law requires. A correspondence on the subject must at once be
opened with the Government, and in six weeks, or say two months,
the state of the law may be ascertained. Until then, of course, no
honest tradesman (and there are several of that class) will venture
to trouble a customer. It may be suggested that the omission of the
words " to order " would elude the difficulty, but this would be an
unworthy subterfuge, to which we are sure no high-minded English
gentleman and no high-principled English tradesman would stoop.
There must be a brief period of suspension of cheques, after which
ordinary commercial relations may be resumed.

SCOUNDRELS WELL SOLD.

It is to be hoped that the truth of the following paragraph, taken
from the Observer, is only partial:—

" Sham Sovereigns.—The persons in America who advertised to sell
sham sovereigns which could not be detected, have been arrested. There was
no apprehension of our being inundated with base coin. The wiseacres who
were foolish enough to send out orders and remittances received in return
boxes of sawdust." [N.B.—We don't believe in the sawdust.]

The authors of a hoax whose victims were such as those whom the
Observer mildly calls " wiseacres," surely gave no occasion for being
arrested. They committed no offence in victimising rascals by prac-
tising on their rapacious rascality. The British Public ought to be
very much obliged to them for the service they did in the exploit of
biting the biters who got bitten by them through endeavouring to
bite it. As soon as the American authorities discovered that the
advertisements of sham sovereigns were only baits to catch birds of
prey, they probably discharged the advertisers, whose proposed sale
of bad money was in reality merely a " sell" which imposed only
upon fools who were knaves as well, and very great knaves indeed,
although less knaves than fools. But it is cheering to note that
there is honesty enough in the United States to arrest American
citizens for a supposed endeavour to cheat British subjects.

ANGLICAN APPLES.

In a Pastoral Letter addressed to his Clergy, the Bishop of Car-
lisle, Dr. Harvey Goodwin, referring to advisable preparation for
the possible disestablishment of the Church of England, says :—

" I regard it as highly desirable that we should accustom ourselves to a
kind of action which in the case of a disestablished Church becomes an abso-
lute necessity. It is well to practise swimming before the craft becomes a
wreck."

If the most tolerant Church in the world should, through the pre-
valence of Nonconformity, come to be disestablished, let us hope
that, having taken the Bishop of Carlisle's hint, and learned to
swim, it will get on swimmingly. At present, Establishment keeps
all the clergy in the same boat. But should the craft be wrecked,
how then ? When the swimming begins, how will the swimmers
swim together ? Too probably after the manner of diverse apples,
capable of human speech. Will not then the Ritualist Pippin be
highly indignant if the Low Russet or the Broad Codlin should, in
the accustomed ecclesiastical Latin, accost it with "Aw poma
Thalamus?"

Our Christmas Corner.

Harmless Slides for this weather are those belonging to Magic
Lanterns.

New arrival at the Zoological Gardens.—A real Snap-dragon.
Now on view.

What ancient author is supposed to have written a treatise on
plum-pudding ?—Suet-onius.

What trade did Master Jack Horner of corner celebrity subse-
quently adopt ?—Probably that of a Plumber.

Dog Logic.—It is proverbially said that every dog has his day.
If this were true, the Dog-days would be more numerous.