Punch: Punch (60.1871)

January 21, 1871.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 23

Heme {astonishing them by suddenly starting up on an anvil).
Ha! ha!

[They hit at him, he takes a header through a small trap in tlie
stage just large enough to admit his shoulders, and disappears.
Immense applause. TJie Monkey now joins in the scrimmage.
Henry {at intervals). I'll smash yer!

Wolsey {whenever he isn't falling down or being whacked). 0,
naughty, naughty!

[Herne pops up one trap and down another every other second.
The stage appears honeycombed with traps. Bang! Whack!
Smash J Appearance and disappearance of Herne in all
sorts of unexpected places. Monkey after Wolsey, Heney
after Herne. All exhausted. Fireworks. End of scent.
Vociferous cheering. Herne and talented assistants bow
their acknowledgments.
The Pantomime goes on, hut the Great Scene being now over, we
leave, feeling ourselves well repaid for our Nicht wi' Conquest at
the Grecian.

Med Fire. Curtain {after we've gone).

A ROYAL EXAMPLE.

ing to avoid the crowd can do so by paying sixpence extra at the
Private Entrance. Doors open at 5." We had been some of
the Persons herein alluded to, and had avoided the crowd.

Overture to the Pantomime of " Heme the Hunter.'''

Overture almost inaudible; what we did catch occasionally we
thought very good indeed, though as this was only the drum part
it would be scarcely fair to found any critical 'opinion upon the
whole as a work of art. Roars of delight at the end of the
Overture from all parts of the house, which could only be aware
of its cessation by seeing the musicians stop playing. Lights
down. Increasing excitement. Interval of awful suspense.
Expressed delight of a Small Boy in the corner of the side gallery
at seeing a Fairy standing between the proscenium andthe curtain.

Small Boy {exultingly). 'Ooray! I see yer ! [Responsive shouts.

More aivful suspense. A sort of operatic prompter's box suddenly
appears on the stage in front of the conductor of the orchestra.
1 'oices {all about the house). Order ! Order ! Order !

Noise slightly, very slightly, subsides. Bell. Music {we believe), to
ivhich curtain rises, discovering somebody, a fairy {we imagine)
behind a cauldron. All is mystery and sulphuric smell. Fairy
speaks, that is, we see her lips moving. Man in operatic promp-
ter's box turns on. a set of magic lantern slides illustrating, we

fancy, the four seasons, and finally showing a picture ofHerne nt 7lf p v

the Hunter. All this is received with loud applause, and a ^JWL ^ J^r- Punch.. s opinion the

good deal of coughing in consequence of the smell above men- ,*^=liSll% touowing bit oi news qe-

tioned. Fairies eider, and speak. Dumb show. / ,||aj|j|g e tion^and h? V * iCir(f ~

Voices of the Night. Order! / 4£ij=|3:||| = *™,'+„j *. S 1S-*.

Rough Voices. Order there! ( \ H^Be alSldin^jXn

Civil Person {somewhere in the gallery, pcntiasively). Order, <^ ' r --^ !§ ~';\W= ' "VI bl ° t fG

'somebody in Gallery {to Invisible Friend). Hill, where are yer ? k '••.IS 18= ^v.e tbee° forwarded by Her

Bill the 'In risible. 'Ere! JJ gipE KfyH£w ^ T P ' *

Somebody {evidently annoyed with Hill). Then why ain't yer'ere^? JEtf] i op "Wales, for*the patients in

Voices of the Night {indignant with Bill and Friend). Order ! ^^Bfir^! i=M-!i§ 3 ^ ^ 1 ^^."j^*, ^ j

Civil Person {again, and more persuasively). Order, please ! ^IBi8BS^.]fflrari I' 'I ^ 2 less will prattle ol ; andthe

J I ere follows a duet by two fairies, which comma/ids silence at once, JSK^^^^m^^/A 3 .. ~ more such Royal doings as

and is very well sung. N.B. All the singing is quite equal to ><fflBBKp|E^BS: 5 - == r those above recorded are

anything 'in the West-End pantomimes. Ballet of Mes. Con- J^^K^lp talked about the better.

quest's pupils very pretty. Entrance of Heney the Eighth. ^BSsS^^mt^^ because people may thereby

Vociferous applause. Entrance of Caedinax Wolsey on horse- MHHsSlL JSkf SH=38P= ' , perchance to copy

back. Then Well Somers. «s^?^s lift1 fllfe: them. Britons are ever

Henry {to Wolsey). No larks, or I'11 smash yer. JMI HL H1|S-' VT' ^ ^ l

[Roars of delight. Heney whacks everybody. Master Con- fflBgW Wi {hat many a nobl^ sporS

qup^st, Junior, as a monkey, capital. ffljFll-^ man, when he hears of what

Henry {to Anne Boleyn). I love yer so much I must smash yer. HHM|^Hk _ the Oueen and the Prince

[Roars of delight. > oe Waxes have done, may

Voices of the Night. Set down there ! ' ^^K?S9BSps9&. 1 conceive the happy though 1

Other Voices. Set down ! Order ! Order
The Polite Person. Order, please !
Female Voice {imploringly). Why don't yer set down!
Will Somers {to Wolsey). Who's yer hatter ?
Henry {to Mabel Lyndwood.) I love yer. Come 'ere, or 1 'L
smash yer!

Wolsey {keeping up his moral and ecclesiastical character). 0,
naughty, naughty! [Heney whacks him.

Appearance of Herne (Me. Conquest). Enormous applause. He
flies down in fireworks. Wonderfd make-up. Row in pit con-
sequent upon some one refusing to " set down."

Voices {in Gallery). Set down !

Other Voices. Set down, will yer ?

Voices {in Pit). Set down! Come out, will yer ?

This request is evidently refused. Pit rises en masse. Row and
disturbance.

Mr. Geo. Conquest {as Herne, addressing his audience sensibly),
Now keep you seats, or you '11 lose them.
People at once sit down again. End of row.
Grand Combat scene. Herne pursued by Heney and Wolsey.
Heme. Ha! ha! [Appears in the Centre.

Henry. I'll smash yer !

[Hits at Heene, who immediately disappears, reappearing at
once on the left.
Wolsey. 0, naughty, naughty!
[Hits at Herne and falls. Herne disappears and reappears,
springing up about half the height of the stage from a trap
on the right.
Henry {after him again). I'll smash yer!

[Falls foul of the Cardinal.
Herne {reappearing on a trapeze at the top of the stage). Ha ! ha!

[Swings across, and flies down on the right.
Wolsey {feebly). 0 naughty, naughty ! [Heney whacks him.

of doing something like it.
Mr. Punch has a horror
and a hatred of battues; but if anything could justify the slaughter-
ing at " hot corners" of whole hecatombs of pheasants, it would be
the plea that they were wanted for poor patients in a hospital.
Mr. Punch would gladly chronicle the fact that my Loed Blazeaway
had been lately entertaining a distinguished set of swells, and had
sent the game they slaughtered to the nearest parish doctor, for the
use of the poor people who were then on his sick list. Eew things are
more stupid and more snobbish than the paragraphs one sees relat-
ing how my Loed Tom Noddy has been shooting through his coverts,
in company with See Toby Ceackshot, General Bangup, Captain
Rocketer, and Mr. Nevermiss, and, with the assistance of an army
of beaters, has bagged eleven hundred and thirty-seven pheasants,
ninety-nine partridges, six hundred and three hares, two thousand
and ten rabbits, twelve woodcocks, and one snipe. _ Some interest
would however attach to such a record, were a postscript to be added,
merely stating that, in humble imitation of Her Majesty and His
Roval Highness, his Lordship had presented to the County Infirmary,
and the Royal Free Hospital, all, except the snipe and woodcocks,
of the game his friends had bagged.

A Remembrance.

Artemus Ward, when contributing to these columns, observed
(it was on the 1st of September, 1866), "I say to that gifted but
bald-headed Prushan, Bismarck, ' Be good and gentle in your hour
of triump.'" The hint of the kindly humorist has been forgotten
by the stern Chancellor.

Music.—Falsetto singing is not punishable with penal servitude.
But it is very much like uttering: forged notes.