Punch: Punch (60.1871)

60

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [February 11, 1871.

"NEGOTIATIONS OPENED."

Mamma, " Look here, George. Here's a nice Pudding. Will you be a Good Boy now, and Come and Have some
George (who has been put in the comer for misbehaviour). " "What sort o' Puddin' is it, Ma' ?! ! "

COMPLIMENT EEOM CONGRESS.

There are working men, and idle men whom working men you call,
With leaders, whilst their hands should ply a needle or an awl,
Who choose to exercise their tongues, and go haranguing mobs ;
Thus quit, for barren politics, remunerative jobs.

The tailors and the shoemakers, with Odger at their head,
Together with assembled Roughs, by love of mischief led,
Accustomed are to march the streets and meet in Park or Square,
And shout their indignation, menace, wishes, in the air.

Not always to mere home affairs their wisdom is confined,
Their neighbours' business too, at times, their pleasure is to mind,
They ever, on occasion, roar, with, as, it were one throat,
Demanding intervention a Republic to promote.

But loudly as they '11 greet a revolutionary chief,

From them no demonstration wins the assassin and the thief,

The incendiary, to treason who his base assistance lends;

Had any traitors borrowed it, they'd ne'er hail them as friends.

And they who follow Odger, and to Merrlman give heed,
Small part are of the People—of the Londoners, indeed;
Nay, but the smaller portion form of those industrious bands

Pooh! not they, more than, Tooley Street, thy famous Tailors three
Spoke as "The People of England" when they wrote themselves
down "We."

Their Fenian Demonstration will a mere intent denote,
Whose failure is most probable—to gain the Irish Vote.

Ma,^ ^uuuxcx xUim ^ ,^v,o», ^^u.^p-- but, pon my word, tne enadowiess man s loss was uuuuug iu wus

Who work in flannel jackets, or in shirt-sleeves, with their hands, | q.

INEXPLICABLE.

(Letter from Gr/STAvr/s Dash to a friend at Canterbury.
Communicated.)

Mt Dear Fellow,

I hear that you are laid up with a very bad cold. Tell me,
have you lost your voice f I ask this from no motive of mere curi-
osity, but in order to elucidate a most mysterious case (i. e. if you
have lost it), and to further the ends of justice. What do I mean f
Why this: This afternoon I met a man in the train who resembled
you in many respects, and—there could be no two opinions about it
—he had your voice. I couldn't be mistaken about that. I heard
him tell the cabman where to drive him to, so telegraph to me if you
have lost your voice, and I may be in time to get it back for you.

Yours ever,

Gustavus.

P.S. I don't believe in Spiritualism, or in anything of that sort,
but, 'pon my word, the Shadowless Man's loss was nothing to this.

But what are those Americans, resolved who have to do
Honour befitting heroes to the pardoned Fenian crew ?
The House of Representatives, by gallant Butler led;
A body 0 how noble, with a not less noble head!

And do they represent, then, that great Nation of the West—
Caitiffs, with malice venomous each rankling in his breast,
Dastards, to hurl safe insult who are moved by causeless hate,
Unless its cause be envy which the Snob doth actuate ?

Artillery as in "Paradise Lost."

It appears that our national defences are wofully incomplete m
the particular of Field Artillery. In some measure towards remedy-
ing this defect it is proposed to convert the Inns of Court Volunteers
into an Artillery Regiment, on the ground that the Legal Corps
might naturally be expected to manifest a special aptitude tor
service in any Action constituting a matter of Assault and Battery.