Punch: Punch (60.1871)

/

us PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [April 15, 1871.

PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

_. ______ HE Lords, on Mon-

CT«Il£3p|i^S day, April 3, had

^^^S|k=z==--£~^__7^H==^ II__ begun theirEaster

^r3^«BllHs^8!C=^=^- ==^'-=tt=^' holidays, but the

H^^^^^^Err- ^ Commons were

:EE—S still at their post.

—^zrr:/?^^ /J^^55EZp=tpL-^JcfiS-— v._- Kfiy, one of them

z=~1^=::=s=t^S^^^^{ , & "— a was watching-over
T( i\^^Sat^ -' A ,/,.^rrr>>^':T the interests of the

(ill pleasure - seeking
Py Aristocrats. ilfr.
[, / Punch mentioned
~S:L ^nat Serjeant
:gt Simon had ful-
minated notice
Er that the Lords
were not to be
^ allowed to reject
f~" Bills which the
Commons had

jj^Bf^ " ~—~' ' ' y U_ often passed.

3- -—j^— Counterblast to

.. . " ^c^S^^^^^ Cha^ley!^ MJ\j

~^w^~v_^ galford (N B_

This is pronounced
Saulford, more or

less, and not mincingly, as if the first syllable were the Affectionate for
Sarah), who announced his intention to move that the attacks made in the
Commons on the Lords, for exercising an undoubted right, are Unconsti-
tutional. That is a frightful word, and we would give something to know
■what it means.

The Elections (Parliamentary and Municipal) Bill, better known as the
Ballot Bill, was read a Second Time, its enemies again exacting assurances from
the Premier that they were not to be bound by this formality. Mr. Bentisck,
of Norfolk, thought that a dissolution must immediately follow the passing
such a measure, but Mr. Gladstone cheered him up, and entreated him to
tranquillise his mind, as nothing so " wicked" as a dissolution was being thought
of. Sir J. Elphinstone denounced the Bill, declared that he would avail him-
self of every form of the House to defeat it, and instantly allowed the second
reading to be taken without a division.

Then did Home Secretary Mr. Bruce introduce his great measure against
Intoxication. This objectionable practice he hopes to hinder, in some measure,
by the following enactments : —

concerning licences.

The country being divided into districts, the Magistrates of each district are
to say how many Public-houses it wants.

They are to advertise how many Licences they will issue, and these are to
be sold by auction to the highest bidder, only he must be Virtuous.

If they announce too many the Ratepayers may interfere.

The Licence or Certificate will enable the buyer, in consideration of the price
he is to pay, to keep a Public for Ten Years, but he may be turned out if he
keeps it in an improper manner.

The Resident Manager of the Public will be the responsible person.

Present Publicans have a sort of vested interest for Ten Years, subject to
conditions of good behaviour.

If penalties have reached £65 in three years, the licence is forfeited without
appeal.

Here be it said that the Government hope much to diminish the number of
Public-houses.

concerning hours.
Publics and Beershops to keep the same hours.

They are not to open before VII. in the morning, as Mr. Bruce wishes to
repress the practice of early drinking by the artisans.
In London everything is to shut at XII at night.
In Cotmty Towns at XL
In Rural Districts at X.

On Sundays everything is to he shut except between I and III in the after-
noon, and between VII and IX in the evening.

oncerning tipsiness.

A Manager permitting it on the premises is to be punished, or he must prove
that a drunken person whom he has made drunk was not drunk when the
liquor was supplied.

Tipsiness in a Public or in the Streets, is to be atoned for by a fine of One
Sovereign, or Hard Labour.

Heavier punishment still for a tipsy person who ought to have been
specially sober, as one in charge of horses, steam-engines, or dangerous
weapons.

concerning adulteration.

Samples may be collared by Government inspectors, and for the first offence

a heavy fine, second, imprisonment, third, A HEA VIE];
FINE AND FORFEITURE OF LICENCE. [Ha, ha.'
Mr. Bung.

concerning travellers.

A Traveller, qualified to be supplied with refresh-
ment, must be not less than Five Miles from his resi-
dence.

The Publican will have to prove that this condition
was complied with.

A Sham Traveller is to be severely punished.

concerning bad characters.

A stringent clause accomplishes that which Mr. Kno:\
and other Magistrates have tried to do, but have been
baffled in doing by the success of Ouibble on Appeal.

Mr. Bruce holds himself to have steered between the
Scylla of Tee-total Idiotism, and the Charybdis oi
Vested Greediness. He hopes to do good, but he says,
with Mr. Punch, that " Education alone is able to
create among the people a higher standard of morality
—a greater contempt for and disgust of drunkenness, and
to teach them what was due to their families and to
themselves. By these means, and by these means alone,
can we hope to make the people of this country what
they ought to be—a moral, religious, and sober people."

The Bill was well received, but it was of course too
complex to be judged offhand. Sir Wilerld Lawson.
true to his abstinence policy, could not understand
Licensing what was Wrong. Mr. M'Laren approved of
the general scope and spirit of the Bill. Other Members
spoke, but reserved opinion. The measure will be a
pleasing study for Parliamentarians and others during
the holidays.

Mr. Punch has a million of good qualities, and one of
them is the quality of Mercy, which is not strained.
Having expounded one large measure, he does not in-
tend to be diffuse upon another. He contents himself,
and his Public, by saying, that after Mr. Bruce came
Mr. Goschen,

" Not in his Gorgon Terrors clad,
Nor circled with his vengeful band,"

that is, not as the First Lord of the Admiralty, sur-
rounded by the " brawny boarders that mount by the
chains, and are over their buckles inbl"—ess us, if we
haven't forgotten thelngoldsby rhyme ! Nevermind. He
come as the gentle exponent of a Bill on Local Rating
and Local Government.

Mr. Goschen had thoroughly mastered the sabject,
and he discoursed on it with lucidity and with logic.
Mr. Punch proposes merely to say that the Bill con-
structs a system of uniform local government in England
and Wales (not London), and of uniform taxation. And
that the Government proposes to surrender the House
Tax (£1,200,000, M'm) in aid of Local Rates.

"The old rating system is laid on the shelf,
Fal a lal la ! Ah ! Fal a lai la !

If you want any more you may sing it yourself.

Fal a lal la! Ah! Falaialla!"

to adopt a song which used to be merrily sung at the
old Adelphi Theatre by the merry and sweet-voiced M us.
Fitzwilliam in days when —but no matter. Excuse
these weeps.

Thursday.—Mr. Miall presented his compliments to
the Hierarchy and other clerical members of the so-
called Church of England ; having intended to destroy
that Church on the 18th April, he has decided on letting
it endure until the 9th May.

After an uninteresting debate on the Enclosure Law
Bill—stay, we '11 enliven the theme with a Byronic
quotation,

" No Common be enclosed without an Ode."

the Trades Unions Bills were finally considered-
Please to observe that what is called the criminal portion
of the legislation displeaseth the Unions, so the following
sop is thrown to them. In the titles, nothing is to be
said about "Masters and Workmen," and the stronger
measure is only to be called "An Act to Amend the
Criminal Law," and for the words "Trades Union " is
to be inserted "Permanent or Temporary Association,
or Combination." Perhaps it is not remarkable that after
this piece of high comedy, Members were unable to take
anything else, and took themselves off until Monday, t!.
17th April.