Punch (60.1871)

190

[May 13, 1871.

ALL THE DIFFERENCE.

Meek Little Country Lady. " How Long can I We ah that sort of Hat, do
you Think ?"

Milliner. "Well, Ma'am, in Town it will bk quite Old-Fashioned by
the End of the Skason. Of course, jn the Country a London Hat will
Look Well for a Long Time !"

MORE OF OUR CLEVERNESS.

Anybody who wishes to oblige Mr. Punch will go to the Duke of Welling-
ton's Fading School at Knightsbridge, where there is to be a great Fancy
Bazaar this week, supported by half the Lady Peers, and will select some exceed-
ingly charming object from one of the stalls, of course paying whatever is
asked by the exceedingly charming vendor. The fortunate purchaser will
then bring the object, in a Hansom cab, or otherwise, to 85, Fleet Street, and
leave it, and a polite message. Now you may think that this paragraph is
designed to assist an excellent scheme, one for an Hospital at Ventnor. It
may have that effect, but Mr. Punch's chief purpose is to invite attention to
the spread of belief in the Separate or Cottage Principle of Hospital building.
This he regards as one of the great Sanatory advances of the age, and as he
has preached on the text of isolation, many a time and oft, he is paying a
tribute to his own prescience in recording the success of his teaching. He
would like a slight memorial of his wisdom and goodness, and therefore he
again suggests that his admirers should visit the Ducal Bazaar.

HURRAH!

A new oyster-bed has been discovered on the Dutch coast, near Flushing.
A fleet of Colchester smacks has brought over, each smack, one hundred and forty
tubs, each containing one hundred and fifty oysters ! Dutch beds ! It sounds as
if the oysters must be nice. Don't they lie in Holland sheets ? Now that our
favourite tune " In Native Worth" goes so high as to be quite beyond our
compass, welcome to these natives of Holland! England is the home of the
exile. What exile so welcome as a new, cheap, and succulent variety of
Ostrea edulis ?

A Venture.

( One of the new Joint Stock Companies (Limited) is called the "Bog Mining
Company." The name strikes us as a little unfortunate.

LU-LU v. LOW-LOWE.

Lu-Lu she can spring,
Like a shaft from the string,
Or a stone from a sling,

Five-and-twenty feet clean ;
As, for weeks past, hath been
At the Holborn Cirque seen :

And as posters display
To the people who stay
From the Circus away.

How she does it, none knows :
If by spring from her toes ;
Or by springs in her clothes :

Or some artifice neat,

In the boards 'neath her feet;

Or some counter-weight cheat—

Such as Lambeth essays,
Its shop-profits to raise,
And win pudding, not praise.

Cheating counter-weights do
High a shop-profit screw,
Then why not a Lu-Lu ?

But if up Lu-Lu go,

Like arrow from bow,

What's Lu-Lu to Low-Lowe ?

Who like him, now alive,
Ever jumped, at a drive,—
Four times twenty and five ?

That first leap shewed more vigour:
And the space cleared was bigger;
Eighty-five was its figure.

But the spring must have slackened :
For, behold, leap the second
Forty-six* only reckoned!

If a third leap be tried,
It Low-Lowe might betide
To fall just the wrong side,

And, in leaping at pelf,
Floor not only himself,
But smash ropes, net, and shelf.

Meanwhile, he's all right;
Still St. Stephen's delight,
For his aerial flight!—

After which, with complete
Double summerset, neat,
He comes down on his feet!

Think of this leap unmatched,
Without ties, unattached,
Oft' an old budget,! patched!

That had no spring- or catch-box
Past the size of a patch-box,
Or Lucifer match-box.

Could the force have been hid
'Neath so tiny a lid,
This wonder that did,

Of making Low-Lowe
No light person, we know,
Such a summerset throw,

Turn his back on himself,

And from match-box—light elf—

Bound to Income-tax shelf,

* See the decreasing majorities in favour of Ministers on
Mr. Smith's and W. M'Cullagh Torrens' motions.

t "Budget, (bogette, Fr.) a bag, such as is easily carried
[Query].

' If tinkers may have leave to live
And bear the sowskin budget,
Then my accounts I well may give,
And in the stocks avouch it.'

Shakspeare's Winters' Tale, Act iv., sc. 3."—Johnson's Dic-
tionary.