DOI issue:
August 29, 1874
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16939#0101
August 29, 1874.]
PUNCH, UK THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
93
|
A SUSPICIOUS OLD GRANNY!
“Mv dear Child, this Telegram is not from George! I’ve known
George’s Handwriting ever since he was a Boy, and this is quits
Different!”
3. That Covent Garden Market, Cuvent Garden Opera,
! and Billingsgate Market be gradually moved to Rich-
mond, Surrey, so that the tradesmen of Twickenham
may be spared a visit to the Metropolis for their purchases
of fruit, music, and fish.
4. That the principal debates of the Session be held
in future in the Town Hall, Guildford, so that the inha-
bitants of Surrey may hear the speeches of Messrs.
Disraeli and Gladstone without having to travel to
Westminster.
5. That the name of Surrey he changed to “Little
Britain,” to distinguish it from the other counties which,
in future, are to be known collectively as “Lesser
Britain.”
BETWEEN PUSEY AND PAUL.*
A Tract for the Times.
Paul.
“ Ain’t you coming, Doctor Puset,
Ain’t you coming o’er to Rome ?
Sure ’tis time that you were going
To your true congenial home !
0 ! if I were Doctor Puset,
Sure ’tis honest I would he,
And steer in wake of Newman,
For the holy Roman See !
‘ ‘ Faith, yon ’re thinking long about it:
’Tis now forty years and more
Since you started on the journey,
Though you stumbled at the door!
Others, taught by Doctor Puset,
There and back have made their roads,
While their teacher has stood doubting,
Like a donkey ’twixt two loads ! ”
Puset.
“You have drawn a truthful picture:
’Tis the 4 cult ’ that presses sore.
All your doctrines I can swallow,
If that 4 cult ’ I could get o’er!
But, if I don’t move Romeward,
Still the road to Rome I show,
As a finger-post points others
The way it doesn’t go.
NOTES FROM THE HIGHLANDS.
44 Jam satis terris,” fyc.
ALT-na-blashy.—The aqueous and igneous agencies seem to be combined
in these quarters, for since the rain we hear of a great increase of burns. In
default of the Moors we fall back on the kitchen and the cellar. I need hardly
add that dry wines are almost exclusively used by our party, and moist sugar is
generally avoided. Dripping, too, is discontinued, and everything that is likely
to whet the appetite is at a discount.
Drizzle-arich.—A Frenchman, soaked out of our bothy by the moisture of
the weather, was overheard to exclaim, “ Apres moi le deluge.”
Inverdreary.—Greatly to the indignation of their chief, several of the
“ Children of the Mist,” in this romantic but rainy region, have assumed the
garb of the Mackintoshes.
Loch Lrunkie.—We have several partners in misery within hail, or life
would be fairly washed out of us. We make up parties alternately at our
shooting quarters when the weather allows of wading between them. Ine-
briation, it is to be feared, must be on the increase, for few of us who go
out to dinner return without making a wet night of it.
Meantime, the Watering-places in our vicinity—in particular the Linns o’
Dun-Dreepie—are literally overflowing.
It is asserted that even young horses are growing impatient of the reins.
Our greatest comfort is the weekly budget of dry humour from Mr. Punch.
44 If you make a calculation
Of the English game you’ve bagged,
All those years since Tract Ninety,
Though you say that I have lagged,
You will find that Doctor Manning’s
Is not half so safe a line :
He his converts counts by dozens,
Where by hundreds I count mine.
“ As His Holiness compared me
To a 4 Church-Bell ’—still at home
Let me keep safely ringing
The chime that calls to Rome.
Though I ne’er your Church may enter,
’Tis from prudence, not from doubt.
I am yours in soul and spirit:
There are those who serve without.”
Both.
44 Then we understand each other !
To his post let each retire.”
Puset.
44 Still let me work in the belfry,
While you work in the choir.”
Ensemble.
SELFISH SURREY.
The opponents of the scheme for the abolition of the Surrey Sessions are
expected to give their intelligent support to the following disinterested pro-
positions :—
44 Till the haughty English nation
Stoop to Rome its stubborn will,
Spite of Shaetesburt, Tait, and Thompson,
And their Regulation Bill! ”
1. That the Lord Mayor’s Show shall parade in Kingston every 9th of
November from 12 noon until 2 P.M., so that the inhabitants of that important
town shall have an opportunity of seeing the procession before its appearance
in London.
2. That the St. Leger be run in future on the Downs, near Croydon,
so that the sportsmen of Surrey may be able to attend that very important
race with less trouble and expense.
* N.B.—The Cardinal (Ctjllen to wit), not the Apostle.
Inevitable Observation.—It can hardly have escaped
facetious remark that Iceland proved itself worthy of
another name when it gave the King op Denmark a
reception as warm as a gush of its own Geysers.
PUNCH, UK THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
93
|
A SUSPICIOUS OLD GRANNY!
“Mv dear Child, this Telegram is not from George! I’ve known
George’s Handwriting ever since he was a Boy, and this is quits
Different!”
3. That Covent Garden Market, Cuvent Garden Opera,
! and Billingsgate Market be gradually moved to Rich-
mond, Surrey, so that the tradesmen of Twickenham
may be spared a visit to the Metropolis for their purchases
of fruit, music, and fish.
4. That the principal debates of the Session be held
in future in the Town Hall, Guildford, so that the inha-
bitants of Surrey may hear the speeches of Messrs.
Disraeli and Gladstone without having to travel to
Westminster.
5. That the name of Surrey he changed to “Little
Britain,” to distinguish it from the other counties which,
in future, are to be known collectively as “Lesser
Britain.”
BETWEEN PUSEY AND PAUL.*
A Tract for the Times.
Paul.
“ Ain’t you coming, Doctor Puset,
Ain’t you coming o’er to Rome ?
Sure ’tis time that you were going
To your true congenial home !
0 ! if I were Doctor Puset,
Sure ’tis honest I would he,
And steer in wake of Newman,
For the holy Roman See !
‘ ‘ Faith, yon ’re thinking long about it:
’Tis now forty years and more
Since you started on the journey,
Though you stumbled at the door!
Others, taught by Doctor Puset,
There and back have made their roads,
While their teacher has stood doubting,
Like a donkey ’twixt two loads ! ”
Puset.
“You have drawn a truthful picture:
’Tis the 4 cult ’ that presses sore.
All your doctrines I can swallow,
If that 4 cult ’ I could get o’er!
But, if I don’t move Romeward,
Still the road to Rome I show,
As a finger-post points others
The way it doesn’t go.
NOTES FROM THE HIGHLANDS.
44 Jam satis terris,” fyc.
ALT-na-blashy.—The aqueous and igneous agencies seem to be combined
in these quarters, for since the rain we hear of a great increase of burns. In
default of the Moors we fall back on the kitchen and the cellar. I need hardly
add that dry wines are almost exclusively used by our party, and moist sugar is
generally avoided. Dripping, too, is discontinued, and everything that is likely
to whet the appetite is at a discount.
Drizzle-arich.—A Frenchman, soaked out of our bothy by the moisture of
the weather, was overheard to exclaim, “ Apres moi le deluge.”
Inverdreary.—Greatly to the indignation of their chief, several of the
“ Children of the Mist,” in this romantic but rainy region, have assumed the
garb of the Mackintoshes.
Loch Lrunkie.—We have several partners in misery within hail, or life
would be fairly washed out of us. We make up parties alternately at our
shooting quarters when the weather allows of wading between them. Ine-
briation, it is to be feared, must be on the increase, for few of us who go
out to dinner return without making a wet night of it.
Meantime, the Watering-places in our vicinity—in particular the Linns o’
Dun-Dreepie—are literally overflowing.
It is asserted that even young horses are growing impatient of the reins.
Our greatest comfort is the weekly budget of dry humour from Mr. Punch.
44 If you make a calculation
Of the English game you’ve bagged,
All those years since Tract Ninety,
Though you say that I have lagged,
You will find that Doctor Manning’s
Is not half so safe a line :
He his converts counts by dozens,
Where by hundreds I count mine.
“ As His Holiness compared me
To a 4 Church-Bell ’—still at home
Let me keep safely ringing
The chime that calls to Rome.
Though I ne’er your Church may enter,
’Tis from prudence, not from doubt.
I am yours in soul and spirit:
There are those who serve without.”
Both.
44 Then we understand each other !
To his post let each retire.”
Puset.
44 Still let me work in the belfry,
While you work in the choir.”
Ensemble.
SELFISH SURREY.
The opponents of the scheme for the abolition of the Surrey Sessions are
expected to give their intelligent support to the following disinterested pro-
positions :—
44 Till the haughty English nation
Stoop to Rome its stubborn will,
Spite of Shaetesburt, Tait, and Thompson,
And their Regulation Bill! ”
1. That the Lord Mayor’s Show shall parade in Kingston every 9th of
November from 12 noon until 2 P.M., so that the inhabitants of that important
town shall have an opportunity of seeing the procession before its appearance
in London.
2. That the St. Leger be run in future on the Downs, near Croydon,
so that the sportsmen of Surrey may be able to attend that very important
race with less trouble and expense.
* N.B.—The Cardinal (Ctjllen to wit), not the Apostle.
Inevitable Observation.—It can hardly have escaped
facetious remark that Iceland proved itself worthy of
another name when it gave the King op Denmark a
reception as warm as a gush of its own Geysers.