Punch (67.1874)

152 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI, [October 10, 1874.

LORD TOMNODDY’S DRAG ON A NEW LINE OF COUNTRY.

Pay-Master. “ How much ? ’’

Toll-Keeper. “ Well, we charge a Shullin’ for a Showman’s Carriwan. I suppose you’re something in the Circus line?”

has rendered his assistance for the English version of the piece” —
which seems to mean that Mr. Du Terreaux held the candle while
Mr. Carte looked out the words in the dictionary, or vice versa,—
“and the Conductor of the Music will be Mr. Hamilton Clarke”—
and, I suppose, therefore, it was Mr. Hamxlton Clarke whom I
saw conducting the music.

The Costumes, “ by that original artiste, M. Faustin,” are
decidedly good. Speaking specially of some of the young ladies
who only had to join in occasionally and look pretty, I should be
inclined to say that the dresses were excellent—as far as they went.
Altogether, the public will agree with Mr. R. D’O. Carte as to
“the difficulties of the task,” and will be inclined to grant, him “ a
measure of indulgence” for this once: only, don’t do it again.

A propos of this piece, here is a neat mot by my friend the Baron
Charles Mouton de Kenni, who was invited to see the Broken
Branch, “ which,” observed his English host, “ is dished up with an
English dressing at the Opera Comique.”

Monsieur le Baron had seen it, or enough of it at all events.
“Dished up!” he exclaimed. “Yous avez raison, mon cher!
Ce n’est pas La Branche Cassfe, c’est La Branche fri-Cassee.”

This is one of the Baron’s side-splitters, and the table, which till
then had been groaning, was set in a roar.

In your absence, depend upon my being here, there and every-
where as ever Your Representative.

A Bull or an Epigram?

The Times does not often astonish its readers by publishing such
a piece of intelligence as this :—

“A Ship’s Cargo on Fire.— The Yorkshire steamship, Captain
Longley, from Calcutta to London, has just arrived at Algiers with cargo
and coal on fire. The Government pumps were at work. All necessary steps
have been taken for the extension of the fire.”

The statement respecting the extension of the fire may have been
meant for a satire on the Government Pumps. However, it is as
well to say that the Times to which we owe the foregoing paragraph
is the Lrish Times.

VOCAL SCIENCE.

“ It is almost inevitable that addresses on Social Science should be apt to
run into talk on things in general.”—Times.

Social Science is all the go—

(’Tis from Socius, a fellow, and scio, I know)—

And Punch knows many a garrulous fellow

Who likes to make speeches when leaves grow yellow.

To Glasgow city they’ve gone to talk,

’Heath the shade of the “ great St. Rolloxstalk ; ”*

And eloquence gushes on topics hard,

With Primrose for President, Milnes as bard.

Jurisprudence, Health, Repression of Crime—

Such themes don’t promise a lively time:

But the sensible orator likes to desuit,

Aud to mix up with them quodcunque mdt.

So it comes to this, that women and men are all
Chatting together on things in general;

And that sometimes logical, sometimes poetic,

Are these pleasant philosophers peripatetic.

Why not ? Such chat has a certain charm,

And may do good while it can’t do harm,

If you ’re catechised upon things like these—

“ What’s Social Science ? ” Whatever you please.

Congress and Picnic are much the same,

Though the former’s far the more dignified name :

And Punch is informed that it does not hurt
A Social Scientist’s fame to flirt.

So a joyous trip let ns hope ’twill be,

Wherever travels the S. S. C.—

And for stimulating Glasgow’s brain

May they have the reward of some sound Champagne.

* Bon Gaultier.