Punch: Punch (69.1875)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [August 7, 187?,

PARLIAMENT.

o o e I r"i s h
Peers! Loed
Beauchamp
informed the
Lords (Mon-
day, July 26)
that Hes
Majesty did
not mean to
interfere between_ them and the
wicked will of their cruel brethren
of the Upper House.

Prince Edward's Island (Loed
Cabnabvon_ tells us) was raffled for
over here, in lots of 20,000 acres,
more than a hundred years ago.
The present freeholders of the Island
represent the absentee winners of
these lots. Naturally enough, the
resident tenants have long kicked
at paying them rents; and, holding the best cards
in the Local Parliament, have at length, after a pro-
tracted squabble, forced on the Legislature of the
Dominion a Bill for enforcing compulsory sales by
the proprietors. The Governor-General thinks it
best for all parties to sanction the Bill, which
appoints three Commissioners (the one of the
Governor-General's appointment being "our" Me.
Childebs) to assess the compensation prices to be
paid the ousted proprietors. Loed Duffebin and
his nominee may be trusted to make the best terms for the proprietors that the case admits,
and to sanction no arrangement glaringly unjust to them. All parties (proprietors included)
will be so much the better for the healing of an old raw, that the proprietors and their
friends will, probably, be wise not to haggle over the conditions—though they may not get
all they think justice. _ The tenants, probably, don't quite see it as they do.

Loed Stbatheden is a pertinacious person, with no sense of humour, who will insist on
poking into awkward questions in a way very troublesome to the Foreign Office. At present,
he wants to know if Loed Deeby has not been putting the national dignity in his pocket,
and knocking under to the three great northern Powers, in re those troublesome Roumanian
provinces, with which Austria, Russia, and Germany have concluded commercial treaties, as
if they were Sovereign, not suzerain, States. The Porte says the provinces have no right to
conclude such treaties without leave of the Sultan, and Loed Deeby admits as much.
Austria, Germany, and Russia do not see the need of the Sultan's leave being asked. The
Porte says, " Only let the Powers ask leave for the Provinces to conclude such treaties on
their own hook, and we will issue a firman to that effect," and begs Loed Deeby to back up
the Sultan in insisting on his right to at least so much show of diplomatic deference. Loed
Deeby submits the suggestion to Count Munstee, with a friendly " Come, can't you oblige
the poor dear Sultan ? " Count Munstee, with a masterly inactivity, feels no more bound
to favour Lobd Deeby with an answer than the Sultan with a request for a firman, and
Loed Deeby, after waiting a week, recommends the Porte to issue a firman, without
waiting to be asked for it. The Porte declines, and its Foreign Secretary may be asking
Loed Deeby, not without reason, " Call you this backing of your friends ?"

But when these very big Powers will have their way, what is left for poor little England
(in Loed Deeby's hands), but to knock under; and after all, this is only a diplomatic snub,
and John Bull does not get savage over snubs in diplomacy. He waits till the row
be gins, Ouite time for him to get his blood up when he sees the red rag, or smells powder.
"A stitch in time does not save nine" in Foreign Office correspondence.
Labour Laws Bill read a Second time, after Loed Caiens had tried his hand at a final
tinkering of the Penal Clause which Me. Lowe and Me. Ceoss have so failed to make a good
job of.

Query if Loed Caiens have not left the quibble-pegs as big as ever.

[Commons.) The undertow of Me. Plimsoll's out-of-doors wave of popularity evidently
sweeping the House strong in the direction of Merchant Shipping Legislation.

Me. Roebuck moved the Second Reading of Me. Plimsoll's Bill for Thursday.

Sie C. Addeeley gave notice of tbe Government Stop-Gap Bill (hurriedly knocked up to
block Plimsoll's) for Wednesday. Me. Dillwyn gave notice of a motion for precedence
for Me. Plimsoll's Bill on Thursday.

Savings Bank Bill, Rivers Pollution
Bill, Offences Against the Person Bill,
sacrificed by their Parliamentary Parents.
If only they would not give reasons. But
when Me. Ceoss talks in a breath of " panic
legislation," and the mass of information
from Judges, Stipendiaries, Chief Con-
stables, &c, English and Scotch, on which
his withdrawn Bill was founded, he is
performing Loed Castlebeagbz's famous
feat of " flying in his own face." Why not
manfully confess the truth, that the Bill is
a bungle, and better withdrawn ?

Me. Haedy, Punch is glad to hear, does
not mean to throw on officers and men the
cost of making good the damages caused
by Summer Manoeuvres and, St. Swithin
together to uniforms and accoutrements.

Then the House plunged into the sea of
the Agricultural Holdings Bill; and of the
cheerful subject of Manures and. the effects
thereof, "found no end, in wandering
mazes lost," till nearly three in the morn-
ing.

Tuesday.—A whiff of the Plimsoll breeze
ruffled the smooth waters of tbe Upper
House! Loed Caelingfoed wigged the
Government for their abandonment of the
Merchant Shipping Bill, for which they
were now about to "do penance" (see
Mr. Punch's Cartoon) by what he feared
would prove "hasty, wild, and bad"
legislation.

Me. Disbaeli's defence was undertaken
by Loed Malmesbuby and Loed Caiens—
irnpar cojigressus.

(Commons.) Morning Sitting devoted to
smoothing the way for Me. Plimsoll's
apology on Thursday, and to securix"; the
introduction of the Government Stop-Gap
Bill to-morrow, in time for some detailed
information as to its contents.

In the Evening, the House up to its neck
in the dung heap till nearly two.

Wednesday.—After a few hours on Agri-
cultural Holdings Bill, in which an attempt
to limit freedom of contract (on motion of
Me. Knatcbibull-Hugessen) was defeated
by 178 to 116, Sie Chaeles Addeeley—the
Whipping-boy of the Government, for its
big sin of the Session,—rose to take his
punishment meekly, after his manner.
Judiciously blinking the fact that, but for
the universal voice of popular indignation,
the Stop-Gap Bill would never have been
heard of, he proceeded to describe its
meagre features,—yet harsh as they are
meagre. It will authorize the Board of
Trade to appoint surveyors, armed with the
full powers of the Board to stop ships they
have reason to believe unseaworthy, whether
from improper loading or otherwise, and
will empower one-fourth of a crew to com-
plain of' unseaworthiness, without giving
security for costs, or the preliminary deser-
tion of any of their number. Sib Chaeles
gave statistics strongly corroborating the
worst Me. Plimsoll has charged against
ship-knackers and coffin-ship:owners, and
striking away all justification of the
Government which abandons a measure
called for by malpractices involving such
risk and sacrifice of life.

He did not state how many of the deten-
tions of unseaworthy ships by his Board
were due to Plimsoll's persistent poking
up-

JSTo man need wish to see his worst
enemy in a more humiliating position than
the Head of Her Majesty's Government has
made for himself in this matter. Punch
will not aggravate his penance, or embitter
his humble-pie. He hates hitting a man
when he is down.

Me. Goschen, in tempered terms, pointed
the moral of the moment, and complained,