Punch: Punch (69.1875)

76

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [August 21, 1875.

THE LORD WARDEN ON MUSIC.

usic hath'charms," we have
all of us heard :
Many a statesman sings

like a bird.
One of the pleasantest

possible things
Is wben Granville listens

while Gladstone sings.
Wherefore should not me-
lody's strain
Drive political puzzles out

of tbe brain P
'Tis true the House hath a

minstrel wight,
But Whalley carols not
every night.

Punch agrees with the gal-
lant Earl
That a singer sweet is the

English girl:
No need for a Costa to tell

us that—
The man who doubts it is

just A flat.
No need for the sculptor

Marochetti
To tell us English girls are
pretty.

In the land where Venus sprang from the foam,
There's nothing to touch our girls at home.

Through the world of verse a graceful rover,

The Earl could assure the people of Dover

That Music had the Poets' benison,

From Chaucer and Shakspeare to Browning and

Tennyson.
" Right you are, my noble Earl,"
Says Punch, of poets the perfect pearl;
And he says to the grouse, " Sing a dirge, wild birdie,
We've stopped Saint Stephen's hurdy-gurdy."

"THE TWO YOICES.

At a Meeting held last week, at Dover, to promote the establish-
ment of Free Scholarships at the new National Training School for
Music, Earl Granville, who presided, in the course of a capital
speech, made the following announcement :—

" The late Prime Minister, he could say from personal and pleasurable
experience, had one of the finest musical voices he ever heard, and he believed
that Mr. Gladstone continued to sing to this day. He was happy to add
that his own party spirit was not such, as would lead him to deny that Mr.
Disraeli, though he never had the privilege of hearing him sing, was equally
harmonious."

This interesting, and probably by the majority of the people of
England, unexpected information touching the vocal powers of the
past and present Premier, naturally suggests a few questions, to
which we are certain Lord Grauyille, with his never-failing
courtesy, will return prompt and explicit replies :—

What sort of a voice does Mr. Gladstone possess—bass, baritone,
tenor, or alto ?

Who was his singing-master ? (The value of this information, as
an advertisement, it is needless to point out.)

What are his favourite songs? Homeric ballads? Is " The
Pope " to be found in his repertory ?_

Does he require any pressing to induce him to sing, and what
voice-lozenges is he in the habit of using ? (Another invaluable
advertisement.)

Can he accompany himself ?

Nothing seems to have been said about Mr. Gladstone being an
instrumentalist, or the further pertinent question might have been
asked—Does he not always play "first fiddle " ?

Would it be correct to describe Mr. Disbaeli's style of singing as
partaking somewhat of a bravura character P

Can his voice ever be said at all to resemble & falsetto f

Does he oblige his party with " The Standard-Bearer " or " Awa\
Whigs, aioa1 ! " ?

Do both Mr. Gladstone and Mr. Disraeli continue to give great
attention to the " Register " ?

Would it be possible to induce Mr. Gladstone and Mr. Disraeli
to take part in a duet together in public—"All's Well," or some
other old established favourite—for a charitable purpose ?

Is there any probability that Mr. Disraeli will ever '' sing small'' ?

HOW THE RECESS WILL NOT BE SPENT.

By Sir Wilfrid Lawson, in starting a Brewery and Distillery
for the conversion of the Bands of Hope.

By Mr. Plimsoll, in purchasing venerable vessels for the stock
in trade of the Coffin Ship Company (Limited!.

By Sir Henry James, in financing a new Loan for the Govern-
ment of Honduras.

By Mr. Robert Lowe, in accepting foreign decorations from the
Presidents of South American Republics.

By Mr. Whalley, "in retreat" chez His Eminence Cardinal
Manning, with a view to qualifying for the long-expected " Hat."

By Dr. Kenealy, in state at Stoke-upon-Trent—his leisure hours
(those not devoted to receiving compliments from his constituents)
being given up to the education and correction of his family.

By Sir Stafford Northcote, in congratulating himself upon his
forethought in trusting to an abundant harvest for the surplus of
next year's Budget.

By Lord Henry Lennox, in preparing plans for the new Barracks
at Millbank, that it is proposed shall take the place of the military
buildings at Knightsbridge.

By Sir Thomas Chambers, in writing a book of poems in praise
of the Directors of the Civil Service Co-operative Stores.

By Mr. Gladstone, in dignified inactivity far away from the
offices of certain Magazines—monthly and quarterly.

By Mr. Disraeli, in pleasant contemplation of the many brilliant
successes of the past Session.

And, lastly, the Recess will not be spent by the Right Hon. Mr.
Punch in going to sleep. Verb. sap.

ODD FREAK OF FATE.

_ The following piece of Shipping Intelligence reads like an inven-
tion. But it is a veritable entry on Lloyd's List of August 9:—

" Falmouth, 7th lug., 9 p. m.— The Enrica (Ital. barq.), Guagnino,
from Mazagan to this port, for orders, with beans, sank last night, 20 miles
W. of the Lizard, immediately after collision with the Samuel Plimsoll
(ship), from London to Australia. A Falmouth pilot and two of the crew of
the Italian barque were drowned ; the remainder of the crew landed here by
No. 6 pilot cutter."

The contrast between Samuel Plimsoll (ship) and Samuel Plim-
soll (M.P.) apparent in the casualty above narrated, seems remark-
ably striking at the present moment. Just while the M.P. is doing
his best to save seamen from drowning, the ship sends a vessel to the
bottom. Whilst the shipowners (of the baser sort) are running down
Samuel Plimsoll, the Samuel Plimsoll runs down a ship. So sea-
sonable and unseasonable a coincidence perhaps never was known.
Might _ not our friend, Old Aubrey, have booked it amongst his
" fatalities " ? He probably would have cited,it as an instance of
bad luck going with a good name.

Perplexing Passage.

The Local Correspondent of a morning contemporary concludes
his narrative of the particulars of an inquest by saying that:—■

"The deceased's relatives had not heard of his death, as he had omitted to
write on purpose to surprise them."

This was no case of presentiment. The deceased had been sud-
denly killed by a simple railway accident. He had tumbled out
under the train. If he had committed suicide by throwing himself
under it on purpose, then indeed the foregoing statement would be
intelligible.

Great Consternation at the West End.

Think of their exhaustion, their utter prostration! Think of the
restoratives they must have required after such unheard-of exertion!
Imagine the anxiety of their wives and families, when they were so
long past their usual hour of returning home ! Picture the amaze-
ment of their domestics when they opened the door to them! One
night last Week the Lords sat until five minutes to eleven!

gems of the navy.

It is estimated by Mr. Brassey that unarmoured vessels of the
Amethyst type, which would carry fourteen guns and be of three
hundred and fifty horse-power, would cost £71,000, So much for
Amethysts, even without a setting! These Amethysts are costly
jewels.

A Bankers' Clearing-House.—The late House of Collie.