Punch: Punch (69.1875)

106

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [September 11, 1875.

SELF-CONFIDENCE OUT SHOOTING.

Nephew. "Jump, Uncle! I'll clear totj ! "

[But he didn't " clear " him, cmd old Brown says lie '11 carry the marks to his grave/

A TEMPERANCE LINER.

A ceetaln Marine Engineer had his certificate suspended the
other day for twelve months, by the Hull Local Marine Board, for
drunkenness. He had signed Articles to go from Hull to New
York in the Wilson liner Navarino, as Chief Engineer. He got
down in a cab to the dock just as the steamer was going out of it.
Witnesses declared him to have been so drunk as to be incapable of
getting on board. Happily, perhaps, for others as well as himself,
he was left behind. But we are not sure. For, according to the
proverb, there is a sweet little cherub that sits up aloft to keep
watch for the life of drunk Jack—amongst other drunkards.
And the crew of the Navarino appear to have been, in respect of
sobriety, the mates of their Chief Engineer. The Tiynes, in a para-
graph headed "Unseaworthy Sailors," and containing the above
particulars, further states that:—

"The vessel left the dock at Hull on Saturday the 29th ult., the hulk of
her crew being intoxicated at the time appointed for sailing. One of the
sailors fell overboard, owing to his drunken condition, as the vessel passed
through the dock lock. Later, whilst she was at anchor in the roads, another
of the men jumped overboard, while intoxicated, and was drowned."

It will of course occur to almost every reader that although the
Navarino had gone no further than the roads, her crew were already
half-seas over. _ We can only hope that the vessel herself ever got
so far as the middle of the Atlantic, and did not, very soon after she
left Hull, go down to the bottom of the German Ocean.

Cause and Effect.

"Louise Lateau, according to a letter from Brussels, is again a stig-
matist. For some weeks, her sister having kept priests and sightseers aloof,
she reverted to normal habits and conditions; but relapsing into a state
which led to priestly services being called in, the former symptoms, fasting,
trances, and stigmata, have reappeared."

This case of miracle (so-called) abroad,
We stigmatise it as a case of fraud.

SCOTTICISM AND WIJTTICISM.

A public-spibited act of an ornament to the Scottish Peera?e has
received a due acknowledgment from grateful citizens. Witness j
the annexed paragraph in the Times respecting—

i

"The Earl of Airlie.—At a meeting of the Dundee Town Council l

yesterday, it was unanimously resolved to confer the freedom of the burgh on I
the Earl of Airlie, in recognition of his generous assistance to procure a
new water-supply for the town."

This resolution having been voted by the Dundee Municipality, j,
there is too much reason to fear that more than one Member of that \
corporate but national body took occasion facetiously to remark that
" it 'a aye the Airlie bird that picks up the worm."

PERFECT BEINGS.

" Wings are very much worn as ornaments."—Le TolUt for September,

We've all of us heard it,
And most of us said it,

And even the sceptic
Must now give it credit—

I mean the belief
Universally rife,

That women are angels,
Maid, widow, and wife ;

But one thing was wanting
To make them en suite—

The wings, which they're wearing?
So now they 're complete.

[Some tiresomely accurate person insists that the "Wings' are
worn on the hats, not on the shoulders,—but this is a mere detail.]

Change of Name.

(For the Scene of the late fatal Railway Collision near Bradford.)

For Kildwick read Killed-quich Stition.

Legal Intelligence.—A " Lover of Equity " desires to enter his
protest against the fusion of Chancery with Common Law.

Printed by Joseph Smith, of No.30, Loraine Road, Holloway, in the Parish of 8t Mary, Islington, in the County of Middlesex, at the Printing Offices of Messrs. Bradbury, A enew .& Co. Lombard
Street, in the Precinct of Wlutefriars, in the City oi London, and published by him at So. 85,Fleet Street, in the Parish of St. Bride, City of London.—SiTcan«.y, September u, 1B70.