Punch (69.1875)

180 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [October 30, 1870.

MORE FRIGHTENED THAN HURT.

New Vicar (with a general impression that the Inhabitants of Lancashire are Savages). " I hear the lite VfCAR was not on good
Terms with the Parish."

Loquacious Churchwarden. " Na. An' yan dark Neet threb o' our Lads wad pay uk aff, sa oh jest jumpjd ower a Wall
t' flby * un I " Vicar (aghast). " To flay him ? I ! "

Churchwarden (laughing loudly at the recollection). " Aye. An' ou were Fleyed finely—ou were welly Fleyed to Deeth! !"

[New Vicar hastily wishes him " Good morning t " lakes the next Train lack, and resigns the Living.

* " Fley" (Lancashire), to frighten.

" GENTLEMEN—LORD DARNLEY ! "

Lord Darnley has given the Mayor of Gravesend notice to quit a
farm of which his Lordship is the landlord and his Worship is the
tenant. The Mayor is under the impression that Lord Darnley
would not have ejected him had he (the Mayor) consented to put
pressure upon his son with a view to causing a gap in the ranks of
the West Kent Yeomanry Cavalry. Lord Darnley is ex-Colonel
of the celebrated corps in question, and Mr. Lake (the Mayor's son)
is one of the troopers. Lord Darnley having incidentally testified
to his love for "feudal tradition," expects his tenants to do their
duty—that is to quit the service of Her Majesty the Queen at the
order of their ex-Commanding Officer. The Mayor of Gravesend
has refused to put the necessary pressure upon his patriotic son, and
Mr. Punch rejoices to say, Mr. Lake, junr., is still a member of
the West Kent Teomanry Cavalry. The lengthy correspondence
between the Mayor and the Earl has resulted in the Queen having
one soldier the more and Lord Darnley one tenant the less.

Under these circumstances, Mr. Punch hastens to inform the
Public that there is not the slightest foundation for the report
that Lord Darnley is about to issue the following characteristic
circular:—

M. To ouk "Would-be Tenants. 3&.

Cobham Sail, October, 1875.
Lord Darnley begs to say that no wish to get rid of the Mayor
of Gravesend personally emanated from his pen. On the contrary,
so far from it being so, his Lordship might as well have put up his
farms to public competition, and indeed it would be foolish not to
do so.

Lord Darnley would explain that all he wanted the Mayor of

Gravesend to do was to make his son follow his example in giving
up his commission in his late regiment, where he had found things
not pleasant, and which good feeling (as he must know) would have
induced him to leave a corps which has been personally a source of
annoyance to him. No further wish than this emanated from his
pen.

Lord Darnley begs to say, that if any one personally has any
difficulty in finding out the meaning of the above paragraph, that
it is immaterial to his Lordship whether he accepts it as written or
according to any other construction he may be pleased to place upon
it. However he disclaims the idea of puzzling persons personally.
In fact, nothing of the kind has emanated from his pen.

Lord Darnley would explain that he expects would-be tenants
to be free as the air, and he disclaims the idea that he wants to
control anything more of their movements than all the actions of
their public and private lives. So long as his tenants do exactly
what Lord Darnley wishes, they are perfectly at liberty to do
what they like, and it is immaterial to him whether they accept
anything as it is written or according to any other construction that
they may please to place upon it. This is his opinion from a mone-
tary point of view; and had he thought it would not have been
sufficient notice, he /would have been glad and ready to give it.
However nothing of the kind has emanated from his pen.

Lord Darnley, moreover, begs to say that any very enterprising
gentlemen residing at Birmingham or Liverpool, or wherever else
you will, would answer every purpose. Lord Darnley would also
say that, in conducting an angry correspondence, he is in the habit of
addressing his opponent as "Dear Sir," and signing himself "Yours
very faithfully," and it is immaterial to him whether any other
construction is placed upon it. Lord Darnley has adopted these
forms because he avowedly claims to write with grace, grammar,
and generosity. As he is about to start for Scotland, however, little