Punch (70.1876)

January 29. ift^i " — mTro LONDON CHARIVARI. 29

tolerance.

toe Parson's Daughter. "I'm glad to hear that toxt don't to a few Candles

placed on the Altar these dark Evenings, Mrs. Brown !
8irS?$m*'* " Bless you' Miss' 1 SBB THBY WASN'T CandlE9-°nly Co3fpa

THE EIBST CABINET COUNCIL OE ftG YE'AE.

"What They Did.

o, TUET assembled round a large fire-an admirable receptacle for Ad™J^^^«^
Slave Circulars. Some one added fuel to it: who it was is not clear. A great waste-paper

^ standing bandy was also not without its suggestiveness.
{n They Sa5SSgKl!SSS& shipping disasters, the state of the nation, and-
AOr some of the Ministers had walked—of the streets.

jEBuSSS&S^t » the Sphinx), and alluded to some Canal Shares he
adJ,at% bought. . _ . .... _in..^._. fe\fete«Mb

Act ■u)hi^IiI) ^u:A^CT:Li'or placed a mark in one of the many treatises on the New Judicature

The Ti„ t?en reading, and laid down the law.

Seusatin>, i0-1' mckmosv, Lennox, Daurigny, and Gordon, described the delightfid
Tho $. ±eelinK l^e four single Dukes roUed into one. .
Uit 4t^L 0F Mauujsbuiiy played with a seal.
Mu oECUETjUii' Cross hummed " Home.' Sweet Home / "
sta«:led h?^E?PY H'UIT)T aid not hum 'SHolms, sweet Holms!" On the contrary,, he
d°wn Jr-f c°Beagues by uttering a loud War-cry of defiance. Afterwards he calmed
whetn0r^•+va<« , tno Council their opinion as to the correct spelling of Mobilisation—
The t? z,"or"s."

The W 0P cab^auvon was engrossed with Froude.
" Owj-jf Afp VIS Salisbury related anecdotes of the Prince's tour in India, and quoted

The C-ixf™ TiTrU ' a ProPos oi Lord Lytton going to " hear the leopard in the hills.
Society T) CELL0^ 0F the Exchequer looked cheerful and happy in such Friendly
a^aitod lii, i1 i1 sna<le passed across his faoe. "Was he thinking of the Deputations that
Pr«l)ato TW t)(3*or1e1 budget night ? But he soon brightened up, when he thought of the

Mr. g W paySle on Bakox Rothscjdxd's Will.
Routes to£rettKn r^x S£rt plun&ed in deep reverie, and was silent for many (Admiralty)
Sessions t««. ' 1 er"aps he was reflecting how far preferable was the Bench at Quarter
-_ s to the quarter-deck

Lord John Manners did his best to swell
the revenue of his own department by
writing letters and sending telegrams.

The Earl of Derby, after a brief con-
sultation with Mr. Disraeli and one or two
more, answered a note from a foreign cor-
respondent. The post-mark was " Vienna,"
and the signature " Andrassy."

Business being thus concluded, all the
Ministers joined in a Spelling Bee, and
enjoyed it so thoroughly, that, when the
meeting broke up, summonses were imme-
diately issued for another Cabinet Council
(and another Spelling Bee) on the following
day,

MAMMON'S METAMORPHOSIS.

A Bull and Bear together sat,
In friendly and convivial chat;
Together they are wont to sup,
Though this tear down, and that toss up
Both look for Danae's golden rain,
Both drink the very best champagne ;
Both can assume a human shape
More palpable than Darwin's Ape.
They discussed Stocks of all descriptions,
Spaniards, Peruvians, Turks, Egyptians ;
Each had his visions unsubstantial,
And prated much of schemes financial,
And each beyond the other went
As to the right amount per cent.,
While Mr. Punch, the wise and witty,
Who does no business in the City;
Caught casual words (he scorned to listen),
Watched the grim gossips' keen eyes
glisten,

As through the wo rid they took their range
From their standpoint—the Stock Ex-
change,

That Pare aux cerfs of Mammon King—
That fouler, fatter, Betting Ring.
Bull and Bear gone, Punch felt relieved,
Yet over greed and folly grieved.
He sipped his port of many summers,
Nectar, uncorked not for chance comers—
For such it were a serious sin
To tap the Poet Laureate's bin—
And thought how many weak outsiders
Play flies to these stock-jobbing spiders.
Up go their ticklish wares, or down
There's joy or panic in the Town :
None seem to sec that down or up
Means nothing in an empty cup;
That nations which then- coin have spent,
Although they promise ten per cent.
Can never pay you five or three—
Since " What's impossible can't be.'
Punch, as he smoked his last cigar,
Blest his unspeculative star,
Pitied the fate of foolish folk
Who '11 buy an egg with addled yolk
When knaves who sell with might and
main

Swear 'twill one day be fresh again.
His verdict on the case is this:
There's no such metamorphosis.
Till blood for sawdust out of dolls
You draw, Turks won't tap like Consols.
Though Bears that hugand Bulls thattoss
May hocus-pocus gain and loss,
Though with their " High, Low, Presto,
Pass!"

Confounding wits of owl and ass,
They ring the changes-hero and there
From Bear to Bull, from Luii to

Beat-

Topics for My Trilogy.

(Offered by Sir W. V—- ffj M.r, to Ids
K M Constituents at Oxford.)

1. Suet.

2. Sewage.

3. - Soft-sawder.