Punch (70.1876)

30 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [January 29, 1876.

A GOOD HEARING FOR MASTER.

{Honoured Guest at big Country-house is invited by affable Butler to walk through Vie Cellars. After passing bins innumerable of choicest

Vintages, they come to a task marked w Wluskey")

Guest. M Ah ! ba ! So you've been laying in the fashionable Drink, I see ! The Doctors Atie all mad about it."
Affable Butler. " Yezzir—less hacid, they say, in good Malt Wisky than in any form of Alc'o'ol. I'ye took To it

MYSELF. IN FACT, I may say I 've QUITE given up CHAMPAGNES, ClAEETS, burgundies, AND "ocks !"

A GREAT BARGAIN.

Me. Punch is prepared to sell for whatever they will fetch the
following assortment of valuable articles, being the contents of
his waste-paper basket for the last fortnight:—

1347 Jokes on the subject of Wales being in India.
Seven Comic Songs with the refrain of " Tell Mamma we are
Happy.™

BIRDS AND FOWLERS.

According to a letter from Rome in the Union :—

" The Marquis of Kipon was received a first time in private audience,
and attended on Sunday at his Holiness's mass in his private chapel. In a
second audienoe his Lordship had the hononr of presenting to the Holy
Father Lady Eipon, whose early conversion is hoped for." .

Not long before, the Maequis of Ripon had presented the Pope
964 allusions to the name of the First Lord of'the Admiralty. £10,000. Some people and their money are soon parted. In

233 Letters containing puns on the name of Mr. Cave. presenting his wife to the Holy Father, he cannot as yet be said to

One admirable Riddle on the same. " Why is the Khedive like 'mve ma(ie his Holiness a still handsomer present. That he will be
a bear ?—Because he has got a Cave." N.B.—The name and address 1 enabled to do so on an early day, however, ' is hoped for. In

of the Author of this production will be included in the Lot-
One letter from a Gentleman, asking that he may be put on the

Free List of Punch, and be supplied with all the back volumes

gratis, on the ground that his wife's uncle once sent a joke to Punch,

which was not inserted.

Two letters from Gentlemen asking why the '' bloted arristocrasy "

is not more stingingly pitched into.

Thirty-two Poems in praise of various popular Actresses.
Seventeen Cartoons.

Seventeen letters from the Authors of the above wanting to know
why they are not used.

Seventeen more letters from the same, severely- sarcastic, and
informing Mr. Punch that seventeen horsewhippings are in store
for him.

5976 old Joes, cribs from back numbers of Punch, and "misprints
copied out of country newspapers.

A Conoise Criticism on the New Comedy at the Gaiety.—
Sum Total = Sam Tottles.

the pheasant-cover it used to be a saying among sportsmen that
" where the cock is, the hen is not far off.'* The parties who hope
for the Maechtoness of Ripon's conversion reckon, perhaps,_ without
their hostess, and pay a rational Lady, besides, a bad compliment if,
in reliance on that saying, they fondly expect that where the gander
has gone, the goose will follow.

Sic Vos non Vobis mellificatis, Apes!

How doth the little Spelling Bee

Test orthographic power,
And work strange spells of grammarye
• Out of each platform-flower !

But Bees that buzz about agree

That 'tis a shocking sight
When Ladies of good family

Take shots, and don't shoot right.

Degeees foe Women.—Fair, fairer, fairest.

Printed by Joseph Smith, of No. 30, Loraine Road Holloway, in the Parish of St. Mary, Islington, in the Countv of Middlesex, at the Printing Offices of Messrs. Bradbury, Agn°w, & Co., Lombard
Street, in the Precinct of Whitefriars, in the City of London, and published Dy him at No. 85, Fleet Street, in the Parish of St. Bride, City of London.—Saturday, January 29, 1S76.