Punch (70.1876)

March 4, 1876.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

77

THE HARD-UP HORTICULTURISTS.

et us give a tear to the sor-
rows of the poor Royal
Horticultural Society!
They were pathetically re-
counted by Lord Alfred
Churchill, presiding at the
adjourned annual meeting of
the Fellows of that impecu-
nious Corporation in their
Council Room, South Ken-
sington ; and signally illus-
trate the auspiciousness of
the genius loci. His Lordship
stated that:—

"In the past year the income
of the Society had been diminish-
ing', and the rent of the Gardens
had not been paid. The Royal
Commissioners, however, had
given the Society three years in
order to enable them to raise
their income up to £10,000 a
year. Up to the present time
they had only received £3,000,
but still the year was young. If,
however, the income was not
raised in three years to £10,000,
the Society could not any longer
exist."

The report above and
below quoted contains no

reference to any payment or delivery of prizes due to successful competitors at the Society's
shows. Those debts may possibly have been paid, though rent is owing. But never say die!

"Dr. Alfred Smee was of opinion that, no matter what they did, they could not damage the prestige
of the Royal Horticultural Society."

No, indeed. The prestige of a Horticultural Society in arrears of rent for its grounds, or
prizes for its premium-winners, must be pretty weU past damaging.
" Although the Society might be short of funds, it would still rise again." '

Yes; in the meanwhile its motto may well be Hesurgam—for how long ? Dr. Sjiee
continued:—

" They might do many things to raise the fortunes of the Society. They might have Skating Rinks and
other attractions, but unless they kept to the cultivation of horticulture, they could never maintain the
Gardens in their proper position."

At South Kensington ? Is that a proper position for the Horticultural Gardens ? And
would not the position be more suitable for " Skating Rinks and other attractions " than for
the ''cultivation of horticulture"? If the "other attractions" included Skittles, the sad
Horticulturists might, at least, have a chance of competing with the " Jolly Gardeners."

The Horticultural Society has had losses, personal as weU as pecuniary. It has lost
Fellows. There are some Societies that no Fellow can possibly be expected to remain in
connection with, and whose accounts are of the things no Fellow can understand, not even
Lord Dundreary. But, of course, it would be uncivil to say that the PiDyal Horticultural Society
is one of them. A bold Fellow suggested an attempt to reclaim the Fellows they had lost:—

" He (Mr. Bowring) was exceedingly glad that the Council had come round to the views of the
Fellows, and he would urge that it was of the highest importance that the Fellows who had been lost
should be recovered to the Society. (' Sear, hear /') Let the Council make a special appeal to those
Fellows to come back to their Society, and let there be a systematic house-to-house canvass in the
neighbourhood."

" De Paudace, de Vaudace, et toujours de Taudace .'" appears to be the motto of bold
Mr. Bowring. What cheek a Fellow—any Fellow—must have to propose sending round
the Hat on behalf of the Royal Horticultural Society! Systematically, too, from house to
house in the neighbourhood i Would not that expedient be a little less unlikely to answer
in a remoter district wherein the Concern on which residents are solicited to bestow their
charity is less known than the R. H. S. is at South Kensington ?

THE TURNERS "TIP" TO THE CITY COMPANIES.

" I desire that each of these local institutions may thrive and prosper on that only basis on which
anything can permanently thrive and prosper—namely, the steady and careful performance of its
duties. ... So far from desiring their abolition, what I cordially desire is their development and expansion
in an application to duties that are of the greatest importance to the country. ... It is not for an
infant to advise adults. . . . The main difficulty, no doubt, is the change of circumstances; but if we
look to the original duties of these ancient Guilds, we shall find in most instances they have disappeared,
and you do not know where to find them. There is required for full conformity to the purposes of these
Companies, a change in the form in which then- energies and resources were to be applied. ... A great
mass of new wants have come into existence. . . . The necessity of falling back upon our ingenuity, and
developing our resources, has become greater and greater. . . . Professional and technical training is
wanted by most of the various classes of our artisans . . . and all these classes are, as it were, knocking
at your doors, and asking what help you can give them."—Mr. Gladstone to the Turners' Company.

Great City Guilds, what think you, pray,
Of the new Turner's " basis " Y

Affairs are entering, one would say,
Upon a novel phasis.

" New wants," indeed! the " want to know "
Which Brother Gladstone starts with—

Is this the sort of thing to go
And trouble Civic hearts with ?

This Woodman deals a sturdy stroke

Stark^ strength with skill combining.*
Duty with him is not a joke,

Or synonym for dining.
A guest extremely kind and nice

To have within your border,
Who gives you neatly-veiled advice

To—set your house in order!

Not Jones's gush nor Cotton's sneer

Will this stern Woodman soften.
For turning !—well, his foes, I fear,

Deem he's done that too often.
But when he spots a Upas tree,

And thinks it ripe for axeing,
To turn him were a task, pardie !

Titanic muscles taxing.

And yet this " infant's " cool advice

Perhaps is worth revolving.
Ere the new Turner thinks his thrice

And reaches to resolving ;
Or other chopper-wielders rise

To mark your trees with " blazes,"
And tell home-truths to Companies

In less mellifluous phrases.

For these are days when revenue

Entails responsibility;
Big trusts are left to very few

To toy with in tranquillity.
Commissions sometimes take by storm

Strongholds of Corporation ;
And then the " rude hand of Reform "

Works wondrous tribulation.

Neglected duties, funds too fat,

And interests sly and sinister—
Which he so gently hinted at,

Our fluent ex-Prime Minister,—
Are not the things to buoy a barque

When storm to storm seems beckoning :
How would it be, to build an ark

Against a day of reckoning ?

Those duties of each ancient Guild,

To which old Charters bind them,
Most surely ought to be fulfilled

Wherever search may find them.
And if Time's metamorphosis

Have blurred their very traces,
One thing is certain, and 'tis this—

New ones must take their places!

Trade interests alone may yield

Full scope for all your vigour.
To bring Art-work into the field,

And put down rogues with rigour,
Are tasks to tax your cash and skill;

Since some who look upon her
Fear Britain's course must be down-hill,

Till scamped work brings dishonour.

Shrink not from Satire's friendly whip,
Nor pose yourselves as martyrs ;

But take, in time, the Turner's " Tip,"
And overhaul your Charters.

Pageants, brave halls, and sumptuous
feeds,

Mean vulgar ostentation;
Trade and the Time have larger needs
Which claim consideration!

* "A poet, whose works are now three thousand
years old, in one of his immortal lines has told the
world that the excellence of a "Woodman lieth not
in his strength, but in his skill."—Mr. Glad-
stone.

syllabus and suez.

Mr. Gladstone has sent the newspapers a
" Syllabus" of questions on the Suez Canal
shares purchase. A Syllabus from the
Author of Vaticanism ! What more could
have been expected from the Vatican itself P
Is William going also to proclaim himself
infallible ?